I FELT ODDLY BUOYANT AS I WALKED FROM SPANISH toward the cafeteria, and it wasn’t just because I washolding hands with the most perfect person on the planet, though that was certainly part of it.
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Maybe it was the knowledge that my sentence was served and I was a free woman again.
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Or maybe it wasn’t anything to do with me specifically. Maybe it was the atmosphere of freedom thathung over the entire campus. School was winding down, and, for the senior class especially, there was aperceptible thrill in the air.
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[p1]Freedom was so close it was touchable, taste-able. Signs of it were everywhere. Posters crowdedtogether on the cafeteria walls, and the trashcans wore a colorful skirt of spilled-over fliers: reminders to buyyearbooks, class rings, and announcements; deadlines to order graduation gowns, hats, and tassels; neon-bright sales pitches — the juniors campaigning for class office; ominous, rose-wreathed advertisements for thisyear’s 4
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[p2]">prom. The big dance was this coming weekend, but I had an ironclad promise from Edward that Iwould not be subjected to that again. After all, I’d already had that human experience.
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No, it must be my personal freedom that lightened me today. The ending of the school year did not giveme the pleasure it seemed to give the other students. Actually, I felt nervous to the point of nausea whenever Ithought of it. I tried to not think of it.
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But it was hard to escape such an omnipresent topic as graduation.
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“Have you sent your announcements, yet?” Angela asked when Edward and I sat down at our table. Shehad her light brown hair pulled back into a sloppyponytail instead of her usual smooth hairdo, and there was aslightly frantic look about her eyes.
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Alice and Ben were already there, too, on either side of Angela. Ben was intent over a comic book, hisglasses sliding down his narrow nose. Alice was scrutinizing my boring jeans-and-a-t-shirt outfit in a way thatmade me self-conscious. Probably plotting another makeover. I sighed. My indifferent attitude to fashion wasa constant thorn in her side. If I’d allow it, she’d love to dress me every day — perhaps several times a day— like some oversized three-dimensional paper doll.
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“No,” I answered Angela. “There’s no point, really. Renée knows when I’m graduating. Who else isthere?”
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“How about you, Alice?”
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Alice smiled. “All done.”
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“Lucky you.” Angela sighed. “My mother has a thousand cousins and she expects me to hand-addressone to everybody. I’m going to get carpal tunnel. I can’t put it off any longer and I’m just dreading it.”
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“I’ll help you,” I volunteered. “If you don’t mind my awful handwriting.”
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Charlie would like that. From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward smile. He must like that, too — mefulfilling Charlie’s conditions without involving werewolves.
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Angela looked relieved. “That’s so nice of you. I’ll come over any time you want.”
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“Actually, I’d rather go to your house if that’s okay — I’m sick of mine. Charlie un-grounded me lastnight.” I grinned as I announced my good news.
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“Really?” Angela asked, mild excitement lighting her always-gentle brown eyes. “I thought you said youwere in for life.”
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“I’m more surprised than you are. I was sure I would at least have finished high school before he set mefree.”
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“Well, this is great, Bella! We’ll have to go out to celebrate.”
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“You have no idea how good that sounds.”
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“What should we do?” Alice mused, her face lighting up at the possibilities. Alice’s ideas were usually alittle grandiose for me, and I could see it in her eyes now — the tendency to take things too far kicking intoaction.
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“Whatever you’re thinking, Alice, I doubt I’m that free.”
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“Free is free, right?” she insisted.
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“I’m sure I still have boundaries — like the continental U.S., for example.”
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Angela and Ben laughed, but Alice grimaced in real disappointment.
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“So what are we doing tonight?” she persisted.
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“Nothing. Look, let’s give it a couple of days to make sure he wasn’t joking. It’s a school night, anyway.”
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“We’ll celebrate this weekend, then.” Alice’s enthusiasm was impossible to repress.
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“Sure,” I said, hoping to placate her. I knew I wasn’t going to do anything too outlandish; it would besafer to take it slow with Charlie. Give him a chance to appreciate how trustworthy and mature I was before Iasked for any favors.
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Angela and Alice started talking about options; Ben joined the conversation, setting his comics aside. Myattention drifted. I was surprised to find that the subject of my freedom was suddenly not as gratifying as it hadbeen just a moment ago. While they discussed things to do in Port Angeles or maybe Hoquiam, I began to feeldisgruntled.
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It didn’t take long to determine where my restlessness stemmed from.
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Ever since I’d said goodbye to Jacob Black in the forest outside my home, I’d been plagued by apersistent, uncomfortable intrusion of a specific mental picture. It popped into my thoughts at regular intervalslike some annoying alarm clock set to sound every half hour, filling my head with the image of Jacob’s facecrumpled in pain. This was the last memory I had of him.
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As the disturbing vision struck again, I knew exactly why I was dissatisfied with my liberty. Because it wasincomplete.
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Sure, I was free to go to anywhere I wanted — except La Push; free to do anything I wanted — exceptsee Jacob. I frowned at the table. There had to be some kind of middle ground.
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“Alice? Alice!”
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Angela’s voice yanked me from my reverie. She was waving her hand back and forth in front of Alice’sblank, staring face. Alice’s expression was something I recognized — an expression that sent an automaticshock of panic through my body. The vacant look in her eyes told me that she was seeing something verydifferent from the mundanelunchroom scene that surrounded us, but something that was every bit as real in itsown way. Something that was coming, something that would happen soon. I felt the blood slither from myface.
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Then Edward laughed, a very natural, relaxed sound. Angela and Ben looked toward him, but my eyeswere locked on Alice. She jumped suddenly, as if someone had kicked her under the table.
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“Is it naptime already, Alice?” Edward teased.
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Alice was herself again. “Sorry, I was daydreaming, I guess.”
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“Daydreaming’s better than facing two more hours of school,” Ben said.
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Alice threw herself back into the conversation with more animation than before — just a little bit too much.
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Once I saw her eyes lock with Edward’s, only for a moment, and then she looked back to Angela beforeanyone else noticed. Edward was quiet, playing absentmindedly with a strand of my hair.
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I waited anxiously for a chance to ask Edward what Alice had seen in her vision, but the afternoon passedwithout one minute of alone time.
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It felt odd to me, almost deliberate. After lunch, Edward slowed his pace to match Ben’s, talking aboutsome assignment I knew he’d already finished. Then there was always someone else there between classes,though we usually had a few minutes to ourselves. When the final bell rang, Edward struck up a conversationwith Mike Newton of all people, falling into step beside him as Mike headed for the parking lot. I trailedbehind, letting Edward tow me along.
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I listened, confused, while Mike answered Edward’s unusually friendly queries. It seemed Mike washaving car troubles.
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“. . . but I just replaced the battery,” Mike was saying. His eyes darted ahead and then back to Edwardwarily. Mystified, just like I was.
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“Perhaps it’s the cables?” Edward offered.
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“Maybe. I really don’t know anything about cars,” Mike admitted. “I need to have someone look at it, butI can’t afford to take it to Dowling’s.”
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I opened my mouth to suggest my mechanic, and then snapped it shut again. My mechanic was busy thesedays — busy running around as a giant wolf.
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“I know a few things — I could take a look, if you like,” Edward offered. “Just let me drop Alice andBella at home.”