通译双语文库:故园风雨后第四章塞巴斯蒂安在家里—

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青春的百无聊赖是多么不同寻常，多么完美呀！可又多么迅疾，多么易逝！而欢娱、激情、幻灭、绝望等这些青春的特质——除了百无聊赖——都是与我们同生共死的，是生命的一个构件。可是青春的无聊呢，顽强矍铄的懒散，自我放逐的禁锢——却专属青春，与之共进退。要是英雄有灵，为了补偿他们所失去的虚幻缥缈，会让他们尽情享受青春……也许虚幻缥缈本身就与至平凡的体验有着千丝万缕的联系。无论怎样我都相信，在布莱兹赫德度过的青春的日子就像是在天堂。

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THE languor of Youth - how unique and quintessential it is! How quickly, how irrecoverably, lost! The zest, the generous affections, the illusions, the despair, all the traditional attributes of Youth - all save this - come and go with us through life. These things are a part of life itself; but languor - the relaxation of yet unwearied sinews, the mind sequestered and self-regarding that belongs to Youth alone and dies with it. Perhaps in the mansions of Limbo the heroes enjoy some such compensation for their loss of the Beatific Vision; perhaps the Beatific Vision itself has some remote kinship with this lowly experience; I, at any rate, believed myself very near heaven, during those languid days at Brideshead.

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“为什么管这房子叫‘城堡’？”

2

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‘Why is this house called a “Castle”?’

3

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“以前是座城堡。”

3

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‘It used to be one until they moved it.’

4

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“什么意思？”

4

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‘What can you mean?’

5

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“就是这意思。一英里以外的村庄旁有一座城堡啊。我们喜欢这山谷，就把那城堡给拆了，把城堡拆下来的石头运到这里，盖了新的房子。我很喜欢这种做法……你觉得呢？”

5

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‘Just that. We had a castle a mile away, down by the village. Then we took a fancy to the valley and. pulled the castle down, carted the stones up here, and built a new house. I’m glad they did, aren’t you?’

6

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“如果这幢房子是我的，我就哪儿也不去了。”

6

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‘If it was mine I’d never live anywhere else.’

7

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“可是你懂的，查尔斯，这里不是我的。眼下算是，可是别的时候尽是虎视眈眈的野兽。要是总像现在这样就好了——老是夏天，老是一人独处，果子常熟，而阿洛伊修斯脾气又老是很好……”

7

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‘But you sec. Charles, it isn’t mine. Just at the moment it is, but usually it’s full of ravening beasts. If it could only be like this always - always summer, always alone, the fruit always ripe, and Aloysius in a good temper...’

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我就是因为这个才爱回忆那年夏天，回忆我们在辉煌的大宅里闲逛时塞巴斯蒂安的样子。他坐着轮椅，沿着果园两边长着黄杨的小道上跑得飞快，非要找到新鲜草莓和无花果；他转动轮椅穿过一个个气息不同、温度不同的温室，是要剪下麝香葡萄和插在我们衣服扣眼上的兰花；塞巴斯蒂安也会一瘸一拐地挪到育婴室去，我们肩并肩坐在育婴室一块磨脱了线的绣花毯上，四下里空空的，只有一个玩具柜。保姆霍金斯在角落里自得地织补，嘴巴里絮叨着：“你们俩一样坏，一对儿小坏孩。这是学校教给你们的吗？”

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It is thus I like to remember Sebastian, as he was that summer, when we wandered alone together through that enchanted palace; Sebastian in his wheel chair spinning down the box-edged walks of the kitchen gardens in search of alpine strawberries and warm figs, propelling himself through the succession of hothouses, from scent to scent and climate to climate, to cut the muscat grapes and choose orchids for our button-holes; Sebastian hobbling with a pantomime of difficulty to the old nurseries, sitting beside me on the threadbare, flowered carpet with the toy-cupboard empty about us and Nanny Hawkins stitching complacently in the comer, saying, ‘You’re one as bad as the other; a pair of children the two of you. Is that what they teach you at College?’

9

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在柱廊里，塞巴斯蒂安躺在洒满阳光的椅子上，像现在一样，我就坐在硬底椅子上，挨着他画喷泉。

9

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Sebastian supine on the sunny seat in the colonnade, as he was now, and I in a hard chair beside him, trying to draw the fountain.

10

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“这个穹顶也是伊尼果·琼斯设计的吗？它的年代要晚一些吧。”

10

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‘Is the dome by Inigo Jones, too? It looks later.’

11

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“行了行了，查尔斯，别像个来旅游的。好看就行了呗，你管它什么时候造的呢！”

11

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‘Oh, Charles, don’t be such a tourist. What does it matter when it was built if it’s pretty?’

12

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“我就喜欢知道这个。”

12

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‘It’s the sort of thing I like to know.’

13

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“哎，亲爱的，我还当已经把你这些毛病都医好了呢——我难缠的柯林斯先生。”

13

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‘Oh dear, I thought I’d cured you of all that - the terrible Mr Collins.’

14

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住在这样的房子里，从一个房间晃悠到另一个房间，从索恩风格的图书室再到中国风格的客厅，那些镀金的浮屠宝塔、点头哈腰的中国清朝官吏和奇彭代尔风格的木器；可以从庞贝式客厅晃悠到挂着巨大壁毯的宽大走廊——这个大走廊一直以来保持着原貌，竟与二百五十年前一样，还可以一连几小时坐在平台的阴凉下看外面……欣赏这让人眼花缭乱的一切，对我来说，无疑一场绝妙的美学教育。

14

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It was an aesthetic education to live within those walls, to wander from room to room, from the Soanesque library to the Chinese drawing, adazzle with gilt pagodas and nodding mandarins, painted paper and Chippendale fretwork, from the Pompeian parlour to the great tapestry-hung hall which stood unchanged, as it had been designed two hundred and fifty years before; to sit, hour after hour, in the shade looking out on the terrace.

15

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这个平台是这座房子最完美的部分，建在巨石壁垒上面，俯瞰着整个湖水。从走廊通往湖边的台阶十分陡峭，好像悬浮在湖面上一样，独自凭栏时要是扔下一颗小卵石，就一下子掉到脚下第一个湖里。平台由两排柱廊环抱，在亭子外，椴树林一直伸到草木繁盛的山上。

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This terrace was the final consummation of the house’s plan; it stood on massive stone ramparts above the lakes, so that from the hall steps it seemed to overhang them, as though, standing by the balustrade, one could have dropped a pebble into the first of them immediately below one’s feet. It was embraced by the two arms of the colonnade; beyond the pavilions groves of lime led to the wooded hillsides.

16

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平台有些地方铺了石板，有些地方辟为花坛和用矮小的黄杨拼成的阿拉伯图案，高些的黄杨则是密织的篱墙，围成一个大大的椭圆，中间穿插着壁龛，并且散放着一些雕像，椭圆形则是一泓喷泉，它矗立在壮观的园子里。这样的喷泉想必可以在意大利南部城市的广场上寻到，但这一座则是一百年以前塞巴斯蒂安的祖先在那里发现的，发现后就买下运回。故此它便在异国他乡却也依然惬意的地方重新立起来了。

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Part of the terrace was paved, part planted with flower-beds and arabesques of dwarf box; taller box grew in a dense hedge, making a wide oval, cut into niches and interspersed with statuary, and, in the centre, dominating the, whole splendid space rose the fountain; such a fountain as one might expect to find in a piazza of southern Italy; such a fountain as was, indeed, found there a century ago by one of Sebasian’s ancestors; found, purchased, imported, and re-erected in an alien but welcoming climate.

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塞巴斯蒂安让我把喷泉画下来。可对于一个业余画家来说，画这个喷泉不可谓不是野心——椭圆形水池，水池中央是经过斧凿石刻的岩石岛，岩石上满是雕刻出的热带植物和野生蕨类可以乱真的叶子。十几道小溪在石间流过，仿如泉水，活灵活现的石雕热带动物在泉水旁边嬉戏打闹，骆驼、长颈鹿，还有怒吼的狮子，它们全都喷着水。看似人形的岩石顶部，矗立着赤砂岩方尖塔——这件东西原本远非我的笔力所能及的，但是依着某种神奇的运气，我竟把它描摹了出来，并且因为精炼、漂亮，从而竟然产生很不错的皮拉内西效果。

17

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Sebastian set me to draw it. It was an ambitious subject for an amateur - an oval basin with an island of sculptured rocks at its centre; on the rocks grew, in stone, formal tropical vegetation, and wild English fem in its natural fronds; through them ran a dozen streams that counterfeited springs, and round them sported fantastic tropical animals, camels and camelopards and an ebullient lion, all vomiting water; on the rocks, to the height of the pediment, stood an Egyptian obelisk of red sandstone - but, by some odd chance, for the thing was far beyond me, I brought it off and, by judicious omissions and some stylish tricks, produced a very passable echo of Piranesi.

18

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“把这张画送给你母亲好吗？”我问。

18

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‘Shall I give it to your mother?’ I asked.

19

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“干吗送她？你又不认识她。”

19

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‘Why? You don’t know her.’

20

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“出于礼貌。我现在就住在她家里。”

20

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‘It seems polite. I’m staying in her house.’

21

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“给保姆吧。”塞巴斯蒂安说。

21

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‘Give it to nanny,’ said Sebastian.

22

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我依言做了。她把画摆在柜上她的收藏品中间，夸他画得很像。她老听人称赞那个喷泉多美多美，但她自己到底也看不出它哪里美来着。

22

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I did so, and she put it among the collection on the top of her chest of drawers, remarking that it had quite a look of the thing, which she had often heard admired but could never see the beauty of, herself.

23

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对我来说，美，才刚刚开始。

23

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For me the beauty was new-found.

24

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从还在上中学起，我就常常骑着脚踏车到附近的教堂周边转，摸摸各种铜器，拍下圣水盆的照片。那时候就对建筑一片热爱，虽然在观点上我和同龄人一样，轻松跨越了从罗斯金的清教主义到罗杰·弗赖的清教主义，但内里却很保守，更加倾向于中世纪。

24

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Since the days when, as a schoolboy, I used to bicycle round the neighbouring parishes, rubbing brasses and photographing fonts, I had nursed a love of architecture, but, though in opinion I had made that easy leap, characteristic of my generation, from the puritanism of Ruskin to the puritanism of Roger Fry, my sentiments at heart were insular and medieval.

25

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就是这样转到巴洛克的建筑上来的。这里，在高高在上睥睨一切的穹顶、镶板天花板之下，当我穿过一道道拱门和残缺的古希腊风格的山墙，来到圆柱支撑的荫蔽之下，我可以连续好几个小时坐在喷泉前，观察它的影子，谛听其萦绕不绝的回声，尽情享受所有大胆创新的成果伟业，我会一下子精神大振，仿佛那湍湍喷涌的泉就是生命之泉一样。

25

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This was my conversion to the Baroque. Here under that high and insolent dome, under those coffered ceilings; here, as I passed through those arches and broken pediments to the pillared shade beyond and sat, hour by hour, before the fountain, probing its shadows, tracing its lingering echoes, rejoicing in all its clustered feats of daring and invention, I felt a whole new system of nerves alive within me, as though the water that spurted and bubbled among its stones, was indeed a life-giving spring.

26

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有一天，我们在一只小橱柜里发现了一个涂着日本漆的铁皮油彩盒，还能用。

26

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One day in a cupboard we found a large japanned-tin box of oil-paints still in workable condition.

27

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“这是我母亲一两年前买的。有人跟她说只有尝试着去画油画，才能真正欣赏大千世界之美。为了这么盒油彩，我们可把她好好地笑话了。她哪里会画画呀，不管油彩在颜料管子里有多鲜亮，可一旦把它们调和起来，就成了土黄了。”调色盘上干了的污渍证实了塞巴斯蒂安所言非虚。“妈妈总是让科迪莉娅去洗画笔。到最后我们全体抗议了，这才让她金盆洗手的。”

27

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‘Mummy bought them a year or two ago. Someone told her that you could only appreciate the beauty of the world by trying to paint it. We laughed at her a great deal about it. She couldn’t draw at all, and however bright, the colour were in the tubes, by the time mummy had mixed them up, they came out a kind of khaki. Various dry, muddy smears on the palette confirmed this statement. ‘Cordelia was- always made to wash the brushes. In the end we all protested and made mummy stop.’

28

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这盒颜料使我们动了要把小办公房装饰一下的心。那是通柱廊的一间小房，曾经用来办理地产事宜，此时闲置着，只是堆放着花园游戏用具和一桶芦荟。这间小房显然为更宜居而设计的，要么做茶室，要么做书房。四壁灰墙上是典雅的洛可可镶板，而屋顶也巧妙地制成拱形。就在这间房里，我在一个椭圆形小画框中，勾画出了一幅相当浪漫的风景，接下来几天上色，靠着运气，也因为心情愉快，我居然又得着了一个成功之作。也不知道怎么回事，好像要那支笔去哪儿它就会去哪儿。

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The paints gave us the idea of decorating the office; this was a small room opening on the colonnade; it had once been used for estate business, but was now derelict, holding only some garden games and a tub of dead aloes; it had plainly been designed for a softer use, perhaps as a tea-room or study, for the plaster walls were decorated with delicate Rococo panels and the roof was prettily groined. Here, in one of the smaller oval frames, I sketched a romantic landscape, and in the days that followed filled it out in colour, and, by luck and the happy mood of the moment, made a success of it. The brush seemed somehow to do what was wanted of it.

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这是一幅风景画，没有人物，画的是蓝天白云的夏天。前景是爬满常春藤的废墟、岩石和瀑布，以及后面那片慢慢退隐的园林。我不大懂得油画画技，一边画一边揣摩。一个星期后，画完了。那时候塞巴斯蒂安想叫我在一块大的镶板上再画一幅，我就又画了一些草稿。他叫人拿来一幅嬉游图，上面画着一架飘着丝带的秋千、一个黑仆，还有一个吹笛子的牧羊人，可画着画着我失了兴致。风景画的成功靠的是运气，但要仿画出如此精致的作品来，我力有不逮。

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It was a landscape without figures, a summer scene of white cloud and blue distances, with an ivy-clad ruin in the foreground, rocks and a waterfall affording a rugged introduction to the receding parkland behind. I knew little of oil-painting and learned its ways as I worked.?When, in a week, it was finished, Sebastian was eager for me to start on one of the larger panels. I made some sketches. He called for a fête champêtre with a ribboned swing and a Negro page and a shepherd playing the pipes, but the thing languished. I knew it was good chance that had made my landscape, and that this elaborate pastiche was too much for me.

30

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还有一天，我们和威尔科克斯一起下了地窖，看到原本贮藏着大量葡萄酒，现在却空落落的隔洞。两条甬道中也只有一条还通了，甬道里的箱子盛满了东西，有些箱子里装着存了五十年的葡萄好酒。

30

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One day we went down to the cellars with Wilcox and saw the empty bays which had once held a vast store of wine; one transept only was used now; there the bins were well stocked, some of with vintages fifty years old.

31

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“自从大老爷出国以后，就再也没有添过酒了，”威尔科克斯说，“好多陈年葡萄酒该喝掉了，本应该藏些十八年陈、二十年陈的。我收到过酒商的几封信，大老爷夫人让我去问布莱兹赫德勋爵，布莱兹赫德勋爵又让我去问老爷，而老爷又让我去问律师……就这么一直拖下来了。照现在的速度喝酒，存的酒怎么也够喝十年的。可到那时候我们再怎么办呢？”

31

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‘There’s been nothing added since his Lordship went abroad,’ said Wilcox. ‘A lot of the old wine wants drinking up. We ought to have laid down the eighteens and twenties. I’ve had several letters about it from the wine merchants, but her Ladyship says to ask Lord Brideshead, and he says to ask his Lordship, and his Lordship says to ask the lawyers. That’s how we get low. There’s enough here for ten years at the rate it’s going, but how shall we be then?’

32

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威尔科克斯正好迎合了我们的需求。我们从每个箱子里都取了一瓶酒出来。跟塞巴斯蒂安一起度过的那些宁静夜里，也算是我与葡萄美酒的初次相识了，此一经历在那之后诚如播种之后的丰收，得以在以后众多无聊寡淡的岁月里成为我的精神支撑。他和我经常坐在“花厅”里，桌上开着三瓶酒，每人面前三只玻璃杯。塞巴斯蒂安找着一本品酒的书，我们就按照那上面详尽的指示去品尝葡萄酒。

32

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Wilcox welcomed our interest; we had bottles brought up from every bin, and it was during those tranquil evenings with Sebastian that I first made a serious acquaintance with wine and sowed the seed of that rich harvest which was to be my stay in many barren years. We would sit, he and I, in the Painted Parlour with three bottles open on the table and three glasses before each of us; Sebastian had found a book on winetasting, and we followed its instructions in detail.

33

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先把酒杯放在蜡烛上加一下温，然后斟上三分之一酒，让酒旋转，小心地捧在手里，随后把酒举到灯前照上一照，闻闻，先呷一小口，再喝一大口，让酒在舌尖上滑动，就像在柜台上滚一个硬币那样，让酒滑向上颌，然后仰起脑袋，让酒一滴滴滑喉入口。

33

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We warmed the glass slightly at a candle, filled it a third high, swirled the wine round, nursed it in our hands, held it to the light, breathed it, sipped it, filled our mouths with it, and rolled it over the tongue, ringing it on the palate like a coin on a counter, tilted our heads back and let it trickle down the throat.

34

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之后，我们就该种酒交换心得，吃一点巴斯·奥利弗饼干净口，然后再品另外一种。这种酒品完了，再回过来品最初的那种，随后再品一种新的，到后来这三种酒轮番尝过，酒杯的顺序也全都乱了。对于哪个酒杯里装的是哪种酒我们还要争论不休，酒杯在我们俩之间传过来递过去，直到这六个酒杯中有的已经掺进了我们从不一样的酒瓶里倒进去的别的酒，直到我们不得不每人用三只干净酒杯重新开始新的一轮品酒，酒瓶空了，对酒的褒扬也更加无拘无束，天马行空了。

34

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Then we talked of it and nibbled Bath Oliver biscuits, and passed on to another wine; then back to the first, then on to another, until all three were in circulation and the order of glasses got confused, and we fell out over which was which, and we passed the glasses to and fro between us until there were six glasses, some of them with mixed wines in them which we had filled from the wrong bottle, till we were obliged to start again with three clean glasses each, and the bottles were empty and our praise of them wilder and more exotic.

35

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“……这酒有点儿害羞，像一只瞪大眼睛的羚羊。”

35

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‘...It is a little shy wine like a gazelle.’

36

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“像矮妖精。”

36

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‘Like a leprechaun.’

37

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“花纹妖精在织锦草地上。”

37

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‘Dappled, in a tapestry meadow.’

38

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“寂静水边的长笛。”

38

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‘Like flute by still water.’

39

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“……此乃增添智慧的陈酒。”

39

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‘...And this is a wise old wine.’

40

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“是山洞里的先知。”

40

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‘A prophet in a cave.’

41

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“……戴在雪白脖颈上的珍珠项链。”

41

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‘...And this is a necklace of pearls on a white neck.’

42

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“像只天鹅。”

42

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‘Like a swan.’

43

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“像世间最后一个独角兽。”

43

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‘Like the last unicorn.’

44

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这时我们常常离开餐厅里金黄色的烛光，来到星空下，坐在喷泉边，用水凉凉手，醉意盎然地听着水滴岩石的汩汩声。

44

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And we would leave the golden candlelight of the dining-room for the starlight outside and sit on the edge of the fountain, cooling our hands in the water and listening drunkenly to its splash and gurgle over the rocks.

45

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“我们应该每天晚上都喝成这样。”一天早晨塞巴斯蒂安这样问。

45

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‘Ought we to be drunk every night?, Sebastian asked one morning.

46

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“不错，应该。”

46

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‘Yes, I think so.’

47

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“就是，是应该。”

47

-

‘I think so too.’

48

-

我们很少见到生人。有一个代理商，一个瘦高的上校，到我们这儿喝过一次茶。通常我们总能躲开他们。一到星期天会从附近一个修道院请一位修道士过来做弥撒，还和我们一起吃早餐。他是我平生遇到的第一位牧师——虽然感觉他并不像一位牧师，但是布莱兹赫德是一个使我着魔的地方，所以我希望那里的一切的事情，一切的人都不同凡响才好。实际上菲普斯神父是一个温和的、长着圆面包脸的人，喜欢板球，而且坚持认为我们也跟他一样喜欢板球。

48

-

We saw few strangers. There was the agent, a lean and pouchy colonel, who crossed our path occasionally and once came to tea. Usually we managed to hide from him. On Sundays a monk was fetched from a neighbouring monastery to say mass and breakfast with us. He was the first priest I ever met; I noticed how unlike he was to a parson, but Brideshead was a place of such enchantment to me that I expected everything and everyone to be unique; Father Phipps was in fact a bland, bun-faced man with, an interest in county cricket which he obstinately believed us to share.

49

-

“你知道，神父，查尔斯和我根本不晓得板球是怎么一回事。”

49

-

‘You, know, father, Charles and I simply don’t know about cricket.’

50

-

“我真希望我能看到坦尼森上星期四是怎么赢五十八分的。想必很精彩。《泰晤士报》的评论好极了，你们看过他跟南非对垒吗？”

50

-

‘I wish I’d seen Tennyson make that fifty-eight last Thursday. That must have been an innings. The account in The Times was excellent. Did you see him against the South Africans?’

51

-

“我根本没见过他。”

51

-

‘I’ve never seen him.’

52

-

“我也没有见过他。我好多年没有看过一场好比赛了——那年格里夫斯神父带我去参加安普福尔斯的修道院院长就职典礼，路过利兹，他顺便带我去看了一回，打那以后就再也没看过了。神父想办法找到一趟合适的火车，让我们能有三个小时看下午打兰开斯特那场。那场球哇，每一个球我都记着呢。但从那以后，也就只是靠报纸看球赛了。你们很少看板球吧？”

52

-

‘Neither have I. I haven’t seen a first-class match for years not since Father Graves took me when we were passing through Leeds, after we’d been to the induction of the Abbot at Ampleforth. Father Graves managed to look up a train which gave us three hours to wait on the afternoon of the match against Lancashire. That was an afternoon. I remember every ball of it. Since then I’ve had to go by the papers. You seldom go to see cricket?’

53

-

“从来不看。”我说。他看着我，一脸的纯真惊悚——这种表情以后我常常在笃信教义的教徒们脸上看到，他奇怪像我们这些面对各种世间凶险危难之人，因何竟然不去利用世间这些方法来抚慰关怀自己。

53

-

‘Never,’ I said, and he looked at me with the expression I have seen since in the religious, of innocent wonder that those who expose themselves to the dangers of the world should avail themselves so little of its varied solace.

54

-

塞巴斯蒂安常常去做弥撒，尽管做弥撒的也没什么人，布莱兹赫德不是一个历史悠久的天主教主场。马奇梅因夫人领进来几个笃信天主教的仆从，可大多数仆从以及所有村里的人，倘若硬要在什么地方祷告的话，也不过就是在庄园门边的、那个灰色小教堂里的、弗莱特家族的坟地里。

54

-

Sebastian always heard his mass, which was ill-attended. Brideshead was not an old-established centre of Catholicism. Lady Marchmain had introduced a few Catholic servants, but the majority of them, and all the cottages, prayed, if anywhere, among the Flyte tombs in the little grey church at the gates.

55

-

塞巴斯蒂安的信仰在当时的我来看，是个谜。但我并没有特别想去解开这个谜。我没有宗教信仰。虽然我小时候，每星期都要被人带着去做一回礼拜，上学时也天天去学校的小教堂做礼拜，可能是作为一种补偿吧，自打我上了公学，就兀自将假期里的礼拜给省了。神学课的教师们告诉过我，《圣经》经文不可信。他们也从未建议过我祈祷。我父亲是不做礼拜的，非得家里遇到什么事才可能去，即使去了，也带着些嘲讽似的。

55

-

Sebastian’s faith was an enigma to me at that time, but not one which I felt particularly concerned to solve. I had no religion. I was taken to church weekly as a child, and at school attended chapel daily, but, as though in compensation, from the time I went to my public school I was excused church in the holidays. The masters who taught me Divinity told me that biblical texts were highly untrustworthy. They never suggested I should try to pray. My father did not go to church except on family occasions and then with derision.

56

-

我母亲，我相信她是虔诚的教徒。以前总会觉得奇怪，她居然认为她有义务抛下我和爸爸不管，跟着一个战地救助队去塞尔维亚，最后精疲力竭地死在波斯尼亚的冰天雪地里。可到后来，我意识到我骨子里也是这样，有她的特质。后来在一九二三年我接受了这一特质，从没想过要花些心思去考虑这些，不会因为把超自然的当作真实的接受下来而丛生什么烦恼。在布莱兹赫德的那个夏天，我明白了我没有这么做的必要。

56

-

My mother, I think, was devout. It once seemed odd to me that she should have thought it her duty to leave my father and me and go off with an ambulance, to Serbia, to die of exhaustion in the snow in Bosnia. But later I recognized some such spirit in myself. Later, too, I have come to accept claims which then, in 1923, I never troubled to examine, and to accept the supernatural as the real. I was aware of no such needs that summer at Brideshead.?

57

-

自从结识了塞巴斯蒂安以后，时不时地，几乎是每天，他偶然说出的话会使我想起他是个天主教徒，但是我把这看成一个小瑕疵，就像他那么钟爱他的那只泰迪熊一样。一直到在布莱兹赫德的第二个星期天，我们才谈起这个事，这时菲普斯神父已经走了，我们坐在柱廊间看报纸，他说了一句让我惊讶的话：“哎呀，当个天主教徒可真是不易。”

57

-

Often, almost daily, since I had known Sebastian, some chance word in his conversation had reminded me that he was a Catholic, but I took it as a foible, like his teddy-bear. We never discussed the matter until on the second Sunday at Brideshead, when Father Phipps had left us and we sat in the colonnade with the papers, he surprised me by saying: ‘Oh dear, it’s very difficult being a Catholic.’

58

-

“是不是对你有很大的影响？”

58

-

‘Does it make much difference to you?’

59

-

“当然有了。一直有。”

59

-

‘Of course. All the time.’

60

-

“嗯，我得承认我从没有注意到这个。你在抗拒什么诱惑吗？你也未必比我高尚多少啊。”

60

-

‘Well, I can’t say I’ve noticed it. Are you struggling against temptation? You don’t seem much more virtuous than me.’

61

-

“我道德败坏。”塞巴斯蒂安愤愤的。

61

-

‘I’m very, very much wickeder,’ said Sebastian indignantly.

62

-

“然后呢？”

62

-

‘Well then?’

63

-

“是谁整天祈祷：‘啊，上帝，请让我从善如流，但别是现在’的？”

63

-

‘Who was it used to pray, “O God, make me good, but not yet”?’

64

-

“我不知道。我想那是你吧。”

64

-

‘I don’t know. You, I should think.’

65

-

“嗯，不错，我祈祷，我天天都祈祷。可问题并不是出在这里。”他又埋头看起《世界新闻报》来，一边说，“又是一个淘气的童子军领队。”

65

-

‘Why, yes, I do, every day. But it isn’t that.’ He turned back to the pages of the News of the World and said, ‘Another naughty scout-master.’

66

-

“我想他们在变着法儿地让你相信一大堆胡说八道的谬论，你信吗？”

66

-

‘I suppose they try and make you believe an awful lot of nonsense?’

67

-

“胡说八道？要真是倒好了。我听着有时候还觉得挺有道理的。”

67

-

‘Is it nonsense? I wish it were. It sometimes sounds terribly sensible to me.’

68

-

“可是亲爱的塞巴斯蒂安，你可不能信它啊。”

68

-

‘But my dear Sebastian, you can’t seriously believe it all.’

69

-

“不能吗？”

69

-

‘Can’t I?’

70

-

“我是说不能相信什么耶稣诞生了、东方之星、三个王、牛啊、驴啊之类的。”

70

-

‘I mean about Christmas and the star and the three kings and the ox and the ass.’

71

-

“哎呀，我信啊，多美的想法啊。”

71

-

‘Oh yes, I believe that. It’s a lovely idea.’

72

-

“你不能因为有些想法美你就相信。”

72

-

‘But you can’t believe things because they’re a lovely idea.’

73

-

“但我就是信啊。就是这么相信来着。”

73

-

‘But I do. That’s how I believe.’

74

-

“也信祈祷文吗？难道你认为，你在一个塑像前跪下，念叨几句，可能也不用出声儿，在心里念念叨叨的就能翻天覆地了？或者这些圣徒比别的更管用，你非得找对了圣徒、拜对了山门，人家才能帮助你解决这样那样的问题吗？”

74

-

‘And in prayers? Do you think you can kneel down in front of a statue and say a few words, not even out loud, just in your mind, and change the weather; or that some saints are more influential than others, and you must get hold of the right one to help you on the right problem?’

75

-

“是的，不错。你记不记得上个学期，我带着阿洛伊修斯，可是后来不知道把它丢在什么地方了。那天早晨我没命地向帕多瓦的圣安东尼祈祷，刚吃过午饭，坎特伯雷教堂的尼科尔斯先生就抱着阿洛伊修斯回来了，说我把它落在他马车里了。”

75

-

‘Oh yes. Don’t you remember last term when I took Aloysius and left him behind I didn’t know where. I prayed like mad to St Anthony of Padua that morning, and immediately after lunch there was Mr Nichols at Canterbury Gate with Aloysius in his arms, saying I’d left him in his cab.’

76

-

“嘿，”我说，“如果你光信这些，没想变好，那你信教有什么可难为的？”

76

-

‘Well,’ I said, ‘if you can believe all that and you don’t want to be good, where’s the difficulty about your religion?’

77

-

“你之所以不明白，就因为你不明白。”

77

-

‘If you can’t see, you can’t.’

78

-

“得了吧，难为之处在于——？”

78

-

‘Well, where?’

79

-

“嘿，别这么讨厌，查尔斯。我想看这条消息呢，赫尔的一个女人开庭受审了。”

79

-

‘Oh, don’t be a bore, Charles. I want to read about a woman in Hull who’s been using an instrument.’

80

-

“这是你先提的话头，我刚刚对它感兴趣……”

80

-

‘You started the subject. I was just getting interested.’

81

-

“我再也不提它了……在判她六个月徒刑时，参照了其他三十八个案例——天啊！”

81

-

‘I’ll never mention it again...thirty-eight other cases were taken into consideration in sentencing her to six months - golly!’

82

-

可是过了十来天以后，他又说起这个来了。当时我们正躺在房顶上，一边晒太阳，一边用望远镜看下面公园里举办的农展会。这是为附近几个教区举办的一个为期两日的展会，它不温不火地办着，更像是一个市集和公共集会，不是什么竞争激烈的所在。

82

-

But he did mention it again, some ten days later, as we were lying on the roof of the house, sunbathing and watching through a telescope the Agricultural Show which was in progress in the park below us. It was a modest two-day show serving the neighbouring parishes, and surviving more as a fair and social gathering than as a centre of serious competition.

83

-

用旗子圈成一块场地，在场地周围搭起五六顶大大小小的帐篷。那儿有几个牲畜鉴定站和牲畜圈子。最大的帐篷供应茶食，一大堆农场主聚集在那儿。准备工作业已进行一个星期了。“我们得躲起来，”临近展会开幕时，塞巴斯蒂安说，“我哥哥会来这儿的。他是这个农业展览会的大人物。”于是我们就在屋顶的栏杆下面躺着。

83

-

A ring was marked out in flags, and round it had been pitched half a dozen tents of varying size; there was a judges’ box and some pens for livestock; the largest marquee was for refreshments, and there the farmers congregated in numbers. Preparations had been going on for a week. ‘We shall have to hide,’ said Sebastian as the day approached. ‘My brother will be here. He’s a big part of the Agricultural Show.’ So we lay on the roof under the balustrade.?

84

-

布莱兹赫德搭上午的火车到达，和中间商芬德上校共进了午餐。他抵场时我还跟他面谈了五分钟。安东尼·布兰奇的描述对极了——他有着弗莱特家族的脸型，仿佛是阿兹特克人雕出来的似的。这时我们用望远镜可以看到他，他正在五六个佃农中间笨手拙脚地走着，有时候站住向鉴定站里的鉴定员打招呼，有时又靠在一个牲畜圈的栏杆上，仔细地看着圈子里的牛。

84

-

Brideshead came down by train in the morning and lunched with Colonel Fender, the agent. I met him for five minutes on his arrival. Anthony Blanche’s description was peculiarly apt; he had the Flyte face, carved by an Aztec. We could see him now, through the telescope, moving awkwardly among the tenants, stopping to greet the judges in their box, leaning over a pen gazing seriously at the cattle.?

85

-

“我哥是个怪人。”塞巴斯蒂安说。

85

-

‘Queer fellow, my brother,’ said Sebastian.

86

-

“他看上去可挺正常的。”

86

-

‘He looks normal enough.’

87

-

“啊，可是并不。你知道，我们家里数他最怪，只不过没有完全爆发出来而已。他心灵受了重创，大大变了样儿。他想当神父来的，你知道吧。”

87

-

‘Oh, but he’s not. If you only knew, he’s much the craziest of us, only it doesn’t come out at all. He’s all twisted inside. He wanted to be a priest, you know.’

88

-

“我不知道。”

88

-

‘I didn’t.’

89

-

“我觉得他现在还想当神父。从斯托尼赫斯特学校一出来，他差点儿进了耶稣会。这太可怕了，对我妈妈而言。她又根本没法子阻止，不过当然啊，这也是她最不乐意的地方。想想别人会怎么说吧——这是她的长子。换作是我，人们好像也就不会说什么了。还有我那可怜的父亲，即使没有这件事，教会给他的苦恼也已经够他受的了。麻烦到家了——这神父那神父的像一群耗子一样在家里乱窜，布莱兹赫德就端坐在那儿，口中大谈上帝的旨意。

89

-

‘I think he still does. He nearly became a Jesuit, straight from Stonyhurst. It was awful for mummy. She couldn’t exactly try and stop him, but of course it was the last thing she wanted. Think what people would have said - the eldest son; it’s not as if it had been me. And poor papa. The Church has been enough trouble to him without that happening. There was a frightful to do - monks and monsignori running round the house like mice, and Brideshead just sitting glum and talking about the will of God.

90

-

你知道，父亲去国外的时候他难过极了——实际上他比我妈还难过。最后，他们劝他去牛津大学，把当神父的问题好好儿考虑个三年。现在，他正痛下决心呢，说是要当皇家近卫军，进下议院，还要结婚什么的。他自己也不知道到底要干吗。我知道，如果我也上了斯托尼赫斯特学校会不会也变成他这样儿——我本来也要上那个学校，可父亲去国外时我还小，他坚持要我上伊顿公学。”

90

-

He was the most upset, you see, when papa went abroad - much more than mummy really.? Finally they persuaded him to go to Oxford and think it over for three years. Now he’s trying to make up his mind. He talks of going into the Guards and into the House of Commons and of marrying. He doesn’t know what he wants. I wonder if I should have been like that, if I’d gone to Stonyhurst. I should have gone, only papa went abroad before I was old enough, and the first thing he insisted on was my going to Eton.?

91

-

“你父亲不信教了吗？”

91

-

‘Has your father given up religion?’

92

-

“噢，有点儿不信了。他和我母亲结婚的时候才开始信的。一出国，就把宗教和我们都撇下了。你应该见见他。他是个大好人。”

92

-

‘Well, he’s had to in a way; he only took to it when he married mummy. When he went off, he left that behind with the rest of us. You must meet him. He’s a very nice man.’

93

-

塞巴斯蒂安从来没正儿八经谈过他父亲。

93

-

Sebastian had never spoken seriously of his father before.

94

-

我说：“你父亲走掉以后，你们肯定很难过吧？”

94

-

I said: ‘It must have upset you all when your father went a way.’

95

-

“所有人都难过，除了科迪莉娅。那时她太小太小了。当时我也难过啊。母亲努力跟我们三个大孩子解释，好让我们不那么恨父亲。可是不恨我父亲的只有我一个人。我觉得她希望我恨他。我是我父亲的心肝宝贝儿。要不是这只脚受伤了，我早就跟他一起住了。我是唯一去看望他的人……你干吗不跟我一块儿去呢？你一定会喜欢他的。”

95

-

‘All but Cordelia. She was too young. It upset me at the time. Mummy tried to explain it to the three eldest of us so that we wouldn’t hate papa. I was the only one who didn’t. I believe she wishes I did. I was always his favourite. I should be staying with him now, if it wasn’t for this foot. I’m the only one who goes. Why don’t you come too? You’d like him.’

96

-

下面那块场地里，有一个男人正在用大喇叭喊着成交的结果。他的声音微弱地传到我们这儿。

96

-

A man with a megaphone was shouting the results of the last event in the field below; his voice came faintly to us.

97

-

“现在你知道了，我们家人在宗教信仰上不一致。布莱兹赫德和科迪莉娅是虔诚的天主教徒；他不幸，可她像小鸟那么快乐；茱丽娅和我则是半个异教徒，我快乐，可又确实感觉到茱丽娅不快乐；一般人认为我妈是一个圣徒，而父亲则是个被赶出教会的人——我也不知道他们哪一个是幸福的。总归吧，不管你怎么看待宗教，幸福跟宗教并没有很大关系，而这就是我想要的一切……但愿我更喜欢天主教一点。”

97

-

‘So you see we’re a mixed family religiously. Brideshead and Cordelia are both fervent, Catholics; he’s miserable, she’s bird-happy; Julia and I are half-heathen; I am happy, I rather think Julia isn’t; mummy is popularly believed to be a saint and papa is excommunicated - and I wouldn’t know which of them was happy. Anyway, however you look at it, happiness doesn’t seem to have much to do with it, and that’s all I want I wish I liked Catholics more.’

98

-

“他们看起来跟常人无异呀。”

98

-

‘They seem just like other people.’

99

-

“我亲爱的查尔斯，还真不是这样的——特别在英国，人少。倒不是因为他们是一个教派的——事实上至少有四个教派，有一半时间他们都在互相谩骂——可是他们对人生的看法和别人不一样。他们重视的东西、想法都和别人不一样。他们努力隐藏自己的人生观，可是他们的人生观却会随时显露出来。他们要把自己的人生观隐藏起来也是很自然的事……不过你知道，对于像我和茱丽娅这样的半个异教徒来说，要隐藏什么就困难了。”

99

-

‘My dear Charles, that’s exactly what they’re not particularly in this country, where they’re so few. It’s not just that they’re a clique - as a matter of fact, they’re at least four cliques all blackguarding each other half the time - but they’ve got an entirely different outlook on life; everything they think important is different from other people. They try and hide it as much as they can, but it comes out all the time. It’s quite natural, really, that they should. But you see it’s dffficult for semi-heathens like Julia and me.’

100

-

我们这场异常严肃的谈话被烟囱那边传来的孩童的喊叫打断了：“塞巴斯蒂安，塞巴斯蒂安。”

100

-

We were interrupted in this unusually grave conversation by loud, childish cries from beyond the chimneystacks, ‘Sebastian, Sebastian.’

101

-

“天哪！”塞巴斯蒂安一边说着，一边伸手去够毯子。“听着像我妹妹科迪莉娅。你快把自己遮上。”

101

-

‘Good heavens!’ said Sebastian, reaching for a blanket. ‘That sounds like my sister Cordelia. Cover yourself up.’

102

-

“你在哪儿呀？”

102

-

‘Where are you?’

103

-

说着就出现了一个十一二岁的小胖孩儿。她身上也带着明显的家族特征，不过在她纯真的小胖圆脸上，这些特征一一走了样。她脑袋后面垂着两条粗粗的、过了气的辫子。

103

-

There came into view a robust child of ten or eleven; she had the unmistakable family characteristics, but had them ill-arranged in a frank and chubby plainness; two thick old fashioned pigtails hung down her back.

104

-

“走开，科迪莉娅，我们没穿衣服。”

104

-

‘Go away, Cordelia. We’ve got no clothes on.’

105

-

“干吗走开？不穿衣服也没什么大不了的啊。一猜你就在这儿。你不知道我也来了吧？我和布赖德一块儿来的，留下来看了看弗朗西斯·泽维尔。”然后转向我，“弗朗西斯·泽维尔是我的猪猪。后来我们和芬德上校一起吃了饭，然后就去展览会了。弗朗西斯·泽维尔可引人注目了。兰德尔那个坏蛋用一个满身脓疮的牲口就拿了第一名。亲爱的塞巴斯蒂安，再次看到你我真高兴。但是你可怜的脚怎么了？”

105

-

‘Why? You’re quite decent. I guessed you were here. You didn’t know I was about, did you? I came down with Bridey and stopped to see Francis Xavier.’ (To me) ‘He’s my pig. Then we had lunch with Colonel Fender and then the show. Francis Xavier got a special mention. That beast Randal got first with a mangy animal. Darling Sebastian, I am pleased to see you again. How’s your poor foot?’

106

-

“向赖德先生问好。”

106

-

‘Say how-d’you-do to Mr Ryder.

107

-

“噢，对不起。你好你好。”那个家族的全部魅力都展现在她的嫣然一笑里了。“他们在下边喝得稀烂如泥，所以我就来了。哎，是谁在小办公室里画的画？我说去那儿找一个折叠手杖时看到了。”

107

-

‘0h, sorry. How d’you do?’ All the family charm was in her smile. ‘They’re all getting pretty boozy down there, so I came away. I say, who’s been painting the office? I went in to look for a shooting-sick and saw it.’

108

-

“讲话注意。那是赖德先生画的。”

108

-

‘Be careful what you say. It’s Mr Ryder.’

109

-

“太好看了，真是你画的吗？你真棒。你们干吗不穿好衣服下来呢？反正也没人。”

109

-

‘But it’s lovely. I say, did you really? You are clever. Why don’t you both dress and come down? There’s no one, about.’

110

-

“布赖德肯定会把交易会的鉴定员们带来的。”

110

-

‘Bridey’s sure to bring the judges in.

111

-

“不会，我听见他说不想带他们了。他今天脾气巨差无比。本来他不想让我和你们一起吃饭的，但我决定了。来吧。你们穿好衣服能见得人的时候，就上育婴室找我。”

111

-

‘But he won’t. I heard making plans not to. He’s very sour today. He didn’t want me to have dinner with you, but I fixed that. Come on. I’ll be in the nursery when you’re fit to be seen.’

112

-

晚餐很沉闷。只有科迪莉娅一个人不受任何影响，吃得津津有味，很快活地吃到了夜深人静，并且很高兴有她的哥哥们陪着她。布莱兹赫德比我和塞巴斯蒂安只大三岁，可他像是上一代的人了。他有他家族的特点，难得笑笑时，跟他家人的笑容一样好看。他说话也是一样的嗓音，还带着拘束和克制的调调儿，而这种调调儿让我堂兄贾斯珀用上，就是装腔作势，言不由衷，可是布莱兹赫德听起来就不装腔作势，就很自然。

112

-

We were a sombre little party that evening. Only Cordelia was perfectly at ease, rejoicing in the food, the lateness of the hour, and her brothers’ company. Brideshead was three years older than Sebastian and I, but he seemed of another generation. He had the physical tricks of his family, and his smile, when it rarely came, was as lovely as theirs; he spoke, in their voice, with a gravity and restraint which in my cousin jasper would have sounded pompous and false, but in him was plainly unassumed and unconscious.

113

-

“十分抱歉这才知道你到我们家来了。”他对我说，“有没有什么照顾不周的地方？我希望塞巴斯蒂安请你喝葡萄酒了——要让威尔科克斯自己做主，他就会很不大方的。”

113

-

‘I am so sorry to miss so much of your visit,’ he said to me. ‘You are being looked after properly? I hope Sebastian is seeing to the wine. Wilcox is apt to be rather grudging when he is on his own.’

114

-

“他招待得很好，慷慨大方。”

114

-

‘He’s treated us very liberally.’

115

-

“那就好。你喜欢葡萄酒吗？”

115

-

‘I am delighted to hear it. You are fond of wine?’

116

-

“很喜欢。”

116

-

‘Very.’

117

-

“我要是喜欢喝就好了。别的男人离不开酒。在麦德琳学院时，我老想把自己灌醉几回，可是我不喜欢葡萄酒，不好。我觉得啤酒和威士忌都不大开胃。今天下午那样的事，对我来说还是一场苦难。”

117

-

‘I wish I were. It is such a bond with other men. At Magdalen I tried to get drunk more than once, but I did not enjoy it. Beer and whisky I find even less appetizing. Events like this afternoon’s are a torment to me in consequence.’

118

-

“我喜欢葡萄酒。”科迪莉娅说。

118

-

‘I like wine,’ said Cordelia.

119

-

“我妹妹科迪莉娅的成绩单上说，她不仅是学校里最差的女生，而且在老修女的记忆长河里也是最差的。”

119

-

‘My sister Cordelia’s last report said that she was not only the worst girl in the school, but the worst there had ever been in the memory of the oldest nun.’

120

-

“这是因为我拒绝做圣母会修女。女修道院长说，如果我不把宿舍弄整齐了，就不能当圣母会的修女，所以我就说那好吧，反正我也不愿意当。再说我不信圣母会要在意我左脚穿体操鞋，右脚穿跳舞鞋。气得女修道院长脸色铁青。”

120

-

‘That’s because I refused to be an Enfant de Marie. Reverend Mother said that if I didn’t keep my room tidier I couldn’t be one one, so I said, well, I won’t be one, and I don’t believe our Blessed Lasy cares two hoots whether I put my gym shoes on the left or the right of my dancing shoes. Reverend Mother was livid.?

121

-

“圣母喜欢顺从的孩子。”

121

-

‘Our Lady cares about obedience.’

122

-

“布赖德，你别这么虔诚了，”塞巴斯蒂安说，“我们这儿可有一位无神论者。”

122

-

‘Bridey, you mustn’t be pious,’ said Sebastian. ‘We’ve got an atheist with us.’

123

-

“是不可知论者。”我说。

123

-

‘Agnostic,’ I said.

124

-

“真的吗？这种人在你们学院里多吗？在麦德琳学院有一些。”

124

-

‘Really? Is there much of that at your college? There was a certain amount at Magdalen.’

125

-

“我实在不知道。进牛津以前我就是不可知论者了。”

125

-

‘I really don’t know. I was one long before I went to Oxford.’

126

-

“无神论者到处都有。”布莱兹赫德说。

126

-

‘It’s everywhere,’ said Brideshead.

127

-

宗教信仰似乎是这天非谈不可的话题。我们谈了一会儿农业展览会。后来布莱兹赫德说：“上个星期我在伦敦见到主教大人了。你知道，他想把我们这儿的小教堂给关了。”

127

-

Religion seemed an inevitable topic that day. For some time we talked about the Agricultural Show. Then Brideshead said, ‘I saw the Bishop in London last week. You know, he wants to close our chapel.’

128

-

“快算了吧，他可关不了。”科迪莉娅说。

128

-

‘Oh, he couldn’t,’ said Cordelia.

129

-

“我想妈妈不会让他关的。”塞巴斯蒂安说。

129

-

‘I don’t think mummy will let him, ‘ said Sebastian.

130

-

“小教堂离得太远了，”布莱兹赫德说，“梅尔斯特德周围十几户人家没法到这儿来。所以他想在梅尔斯特德开一个弥撒中心。”

130

-

‘It’s too far away,’ said Brideshead. ‘There are a dozen families round Melstead who can’t get here. He wants to open a mass centre there.’

131

-

“那我们怎么办？”塞巴斯蒂安说，“难道我们在大冬天一早就得开车去那儿吗？”

131

-

‘But what about us?’ said Sebastian. ‘Do we have to drive out on winter mornings?’

132

-

“我们必须让圣餐礼在这儿举行，”科迪莉娅说，“我喜欢时不时地去趟小教堂，妈妈也喜欢呀。”

132

-

‘We must have the Blessed Sacrament here,’ said Cordelia. ‘I like popping in at odd times; so does mummy.’

133

-

“我也喜欢，”布莱兹赫德说，“可是我们人太少了。我们不是全体都去做弥撒的老天主教徒。小教堂迟早会关，也许等妈妈过世以后吧。可问题是，现在就关合不合适。你是个艺术家，赖德，以美学角度来看，你认为小教堂怎么样？”

133

-

‘So do I, “ said Brideshead, ‘but there are so few of us. It’s not as though we were old Catholics with everyone on the estate coming to mass. It’ll have to go sooner or later, perhaps after mummy’s time. The point is whether it wouldn’t be better to let it go now. You are an artist, Ryder, what do you think of it aesthetically?’

134

-

“我觉得它很美。”科迪莉娅眼泪汪汪地说。

134

-

‘I think it’s beautiful,’ said Cordelia with tears in her eyes.

135

-

“它是件真正的艺术品吗？”

135

-

‘Is it Good Art?’

136

-

“呃，我不大明白你的意思，”我谨慎地说，“我认为这座教堂是它那个时代很棒的代表杰作。可能再过个八十年，它会受到极大的推崇和赞美。”

136

-

‘Well, I don’t quite know what you mean,’ I said warily. ‘I think it’s a remarkable example of its period. Probably in eighty years it will be greatly admired.’

137

-

“这教堂二十年前不美，八十年后倒会很美……现在它就不美么，这肯定不可能。”

137

-

‘But surely it can’t be good twenty years ago and good in eighty years, and not good now?’

138

-

“好了，现在也可以是美的。我只不过是说，我正好不喜欢它。”

138

-

‘Well, it may be good now. All I mean is that I don’t happen to like it much.’

139

-

“可是，喜欢一件东西和认为它是个好东西，有区别吗？”

139

-

‘But is there a difference between liking a thing and thinking it good?’

140

-

“布赖德，别像耶稣会教士那么说话。”塞巴斯蒂安说。可是我知道起这样的争执不仅是字眼上的，还显示了我们的分歧，深重又无法消弭。双方都不理解对方，永远也不可能理解对方。

140

-

‘Bridey, don’t be so Jesuitical,’ said Sebastian, but I knew that this disagreement was not a matter of words only, but expressed a deep and impassable division between us; neither had any understanding of the other, nor ever could.?

141

-

“你也是这样来区分葡萄酒的吗？”

141

-

‘Isn’t that just the distinction you made about wine?’

142

-

“不。葡萄酒是达到某种目的的媒介，我喜欢那个目的，而且认为那是好的——就是促进人与人之间相互同情。可就我而言，葡萄酒尚未达到这个目的。所以，我既不喜欢葡萄酒，也不认为它对我有什么好处。”

142

-

‘No. I like and think good the end to which wine is sometimes the means - the promotion of sympathy between man and man. But in my own case it does not achieve that end, so I neither like it nor think it good for me.’

143

-

“布赖德，能不能别说了。”

143

-

‘Bridey, do stop.’

144

-

“不好意思，”他说，“我还以为这是个让人感兴趣的话题呢。”

144

-

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘I thought it rather an interesting point.’

145

-

“谢天谢地，我上的是伊顿公学。”塞巴斯蒂安说。

145

-

‘Thank God I went to Eton,’ said Sebastian.

146

-

餐毕，布莱兹赫德说：“恐怕我得把塞巴斯蒂安带走半个小时。明天我要忙一整天，展览会完了就马上动身回去。有一大堆文件要请父亲签字。塞巴斯蒂安得把这些文件取出来，解释给父亲听。科迪莉娅，你该去睡觉了。”

146

-

After dinner Brideshead said: ‘I’m afraid I must take Sebastian away for half an hour. I shall be busy all day tomorrow, and I’m off immediately after the show. I’ve a lot of papers for father to sign. Sebastian must take them out and explain them to him. It’s time you were in bed, Cordelia.’

147

-

“得先消化一下才行，”她说，“晚上我还没吃过这么多东西呢……还要跟查尔斯说话。”

147

-

‘Must digest first,’ she said. ‘I’m not used to gorging like this at night. I’ll talk to Charles.’

148

-

“‘查尔斯’？”塞巴斯蒂安说，“什么‘查尔斯’？你应该说‘赖德先生’，孩子。”

148

-

‘”Charles”?’ said Sebastian. ‘”Charles”?’ “Mr Ryder” to you, child.’

149

-

“查尔斯，来吧。”

149

-

‘Come on Charles.’

150

-

就剩我们两个人的时候，她说：“你真是个不可知论者吗？”

150

-

When we were alone: she said: ‘Are you really an agnostic?’

151

-

“你们家随时都谈论宗教问题吗？”

151

-

‘Does your family always talk about religion all the time?’

152

-

“不随时。这不是自然而然提起来的么，不是吗？”

152

-

‘Not all the time. It’s a subject that just comes up naturally, doesn’t-it?’

153

-

“是吗？我从来没谈过宗教问题。”

153

-

‘Does it? It never has with me before.’

154

-

“那你可能真是个不可知论者。我会为你祷告的。”

154

-

‘Then perhaps you are an agnostic. I’ll pray for you.’

155

-

“你可真是太好了。”

155

-

‘That’s very kind of you.’

156

-

“要知道，我不能给你一串念珠的时间，只能为你祈祷十颗念珠。我要为之祈祷的人有一长串呢。我把他们按顺序排好，每周一次，给每个人都祈祷十颗念珠的时间。”

156

-

‘I can’t spare you a whole rosary you know. Just a decade. I’ve got such a long list of people. I take them in order and they get a decade about once a week.’

157

-

“我相信这已经超出了我应得的了。”

157

-

‘I’m sure it’s more than I deserve.’

158

-

“哎，我碰到过比你还要难办的事呢。比如说劳埃德·乔治[1]、凯泽和奥利夫·班克斯[2]。”

[1]指1916—1922年间在位的英国首相。[2]指1888—1918年间在位的威廉二世。

158

-

‘Oh, I’ve got some harder cases than you. Lloyd George and the Kaiser and Olive Banks.’

159

-

“谁？”

159

-

‘Who is she?’

160

-

“她上学期从女修道院逃走了。我也不清楚原因。修道院长发现了她正在写的东西。你懂的，如果你不是不可知论者的话，我就会向你要五先令，好买一个黑人教女。”

160

-

‘She was bunked from the convent last term. I don’t quite know what for. Reverend Mother found something she’d been writing. D’you know, if you weren’t an agnostic, I should ask you for five shillings to buy a black god-daughter.’

161

-

“你信教我一点儿不吃惊。”

161

-

‘Nothing will surprise me about your religion.’

162

-

“这是上学期一位神父发起的新鲜事儿。如果你给非洲的修女寄五先令，她们就会在给哪个做婴儿洗礼时以你的名字做婴儿的教名。我已经有了六个黑科迪莉娅了。好玩吧？”

162

-

‘It’s a new thing a missionary priest started last term. You send five bob to some nuns in Africa and they christen a baby and name her after you. I’ve got six black Cordelias already. Isn’t it lovely?’

163

-

布莱兹赫德和塞巴斯蒂安一回来，就叫科迪莉娅去睡觉了。布莱兹赫德又继续了刚刚的讨论。

163

-

When Brideshead and Sebastian returned, Cordelia was sent to bed. Brideshead began again on our discussion.

164

-

“你说的当然有道理，”他说，“把艺术作为手段而不是目的。神学是如此严谨，可一位不可知论者居然也相信神学，不寻常。”

164

-

‘Of course, you are right really,’ he said. ‘You take art as a means not as an end. That is strict theology, but it’s unusual to find an agnostic believing it.’

165

-

“科迪莉娅已经答应为我祷告了。”我说。

165

-

‘Cordelia has promised to pray for me,’ I said.

166

-

“她为她的猪连续祷告过九天。”塞巴斯蒂安说。

166

-

‘She made a novena I for her pig’ said Sebastian.

167

-

“你知道，我莫名其妙的。”我说。

167

-

‘You know all this is very puzzling to me,’ I said.

168

-

“我觉得我们会引起人们反感。”布莱兹赫德说。

168

-

‘I think we’re causing scandal, said Brideshead.

169

-

这晚上我才知道事实上我对塞巴斯蒂安是有多么不了解，才明白他想方设法将我隔离到他的生活圈子之外到底是为什么。他就像我在公海客轮上认识的一个朋友，可现在，我们却在他家乡的港口靠岸了。

169

-

That night I began to realize how little I really knew of Sebastian, and to understand why he had always sought to keep me apart from the rest of his life. He was like a friend made on board ship, on the high seas; now we had come to his home port.

170

-

布莱兹赫德和科迪莉娅走了。会场上的帐篷拆了，旗子也拔了，被踩踏的草地慢慢回复青绿。以闲散逍遥开始的这个月，瞬间就到了头。塞巴斯蒂安在走道撇下了他的拐杖，也撇下了他当初的脚痛。

170

-

Brideshead and Cordelia went away; the tents were struck on the show ground, the flags uprooted; the trampled grass began to regain its colour; the month that had started in leisurely fashion came swiftly to its end. Sebastian walked without a stick now and had forgotten his injury.

171

-

“你最好跟我一起去威尼斯。”他说。

171

-

‘I think you’d better come with me to Venice,’ he said.

172

-

“我可没钱。”

172

-

‘No money.’

173

-

“我想过这个。等到了威尼斯就可以靠我父亲了。旅费么，律师们会给我买头等车卧铺票——这笔钱够两个人坐三等车了。”

173

-

‘I thought of that. We live on papa when we get there. The lawyers pay my fare - first class and sleeper. We can both travel third for that.’

174

-

于是我们出发了。先乘廉价海轮横渡海峡去敦刻尔克，顶着晴朗澄澈的夜空在甲板上坐了一夜，看着沙丘那边的黎明破晓，然后再搭硬座车去巴黎，到了巴黎就坐车到了洛蒂旅馆，洗了澡，刮了脸，在福约餐馆吃了午餐，餐馆里很热，座位空着一半，随后又头晕眼花地逛了商店，其后在一家咖啡馆里一直坐等到火车开车时刻。我们在暖洋洋却尘灰遍天的傍晚到达里昂站，接续换乘南下的慢车，还是硬座，车厢里挤满了回家的穷人——与北欧各国的穷人一样，带着大包小包的，对权威现出谦卑的神色——还有销假回归的水手。

174

-

And so we went; first by the long, cheap sea-crossing to Dunkirk, sitting all night on deck under a clear sky, watching the grey dawn break over the sand dunes; then to Paris, on wooden seats, where we drove to the Lotti, had baths and shaved, lunched at Foyot’s, which was hot and half-empty, loitered sleepily among the shops, and sat long in a café waiting till the time of our train; then in the warm, dusty evening to the Gare de Lyon, to the slow train south, again the wooden seats, a carriage full of the poor, visiting their families - travelling, as the poor do in Northern countries, with a multitude of small bundles and an air of patient submission to authority - and sailors returning from leave.

175

-

火车颠簸运行，时停时走的，我们的睡眠也是时断时续。夜里换过一次车，一上车又睡着了，醒来时发现车厢已经空了。车窗外闪过松林和连绵远山，边境上的士兵穿着簇簇新的制服，在车站自助餐厅用过咖啡和面包，周围全是带着南部的体面，大方又欢快的人们。火车开到平原上，针叶松变成了葡萄藤和橄榄树。在米兰又转了车，从移动手推车上买了蒜肠、面包和一瓶奥维多白葡萄酒（在巴黎把钱花精光了，只剩下那几法郎）。日上三竿，整个意大利都蒸腾着热气。车厢里坐满了农民，每到一个车站都挤得水泄不通抢上抢下的，闷热的车厢充满了大蒜味儿。傍晚，我们终于到达了威尼斯。

175

-

We slept fitfully, jolting and stopping, changed once in the night, slept again and awoke in an empty carriage, with pine woods passing the windows and the distant view of mountain peaks. New uniforms at the frontier, coffee and bread at the station buffet, people round us of Southern grace and gaiety; on again into the plains, conifers changing to vine and olive, a change of trains at Milan; garlic sausage, bread, and a flask of Orvieto bought from a trolley (we had spent all our money save for a few francs, in Paris); the sun mounted high and the country glowed with heat; the carriage filled with peasants, ebbing and flowing at each station, the smell of garlic was overwhelming in the hot carriage. At last in the evening we arrived at Venice.?

176

-

一个面色阴郁的男人在那儿迎候我们。“爸爸的仆人，普兰德。”

176

-

A sombre figure was there to meet us. ‘Papa’s valet, Plender.’

177

-

“我先接了那趟快车，”普兰德说，“老爷寻思你们一定看错时刻表了。这趟车看起来才从米兰来。”

177

-

‘I met the express,’ said Plender. ‘His Lordship thought you must have looked up the train wrong. This seemed only to come from Milan.’

178

-

“我们是坐三等车来的。”

178

-

‘We travelled third.’

179

-

普兰德淡然有礼地笑笑。“有个冈朵拉在这儿。我坐汽艇拉行李。老爷去了利多，不一定能赶在你们头里到家——当时还以为你坐快车来，现在应该已经到家了。”

179

-

Plender tittered politely. ‘I have the gondola here’. I shall follow with the luggage in the vaporetto. His Lordship had gone to the Lido. He was not sure he would be home before you - that was when we expected you on the Express. He should be there by now.’

180

-

他带我们上了等着的冈朵拉。船夫们穿着白绿色制服，胸前别着银章，见到我们笑着弓身施礼。

180

-

He led us to the waiting boat. The gondoliers wore green and white livery and silver plaques on their chests; they smiled and bowed.

181

-

“回大屋，普朗陀[3]。”

[3]原文为意大利文，船夫的名字。

181

-

‘Palazzo. Pronto.’

182

-

“是，普兰德先生。”

182

-

‘Si, signore Plender.’

183

-

船离岸。

183

-

And we floated away.

184

-

“你以前来过这儿没有？”

184

-

‘You’ve been here before?’

185

-

“没来过。”

185

-

‘No.’

186

-

“我来过一次，坐船来的。走这条路就到了。”

186

-

‘I came once before - from the sea. This is the way to arrive.’

187

-

“瞧，我们到了，先生们[4]。”

[4]原文为意大利文。

187

-

‘Ecco ci siamo, signori.’

188

-

大屋有些盛名之下难副其实，帕拉丁风格的正门，石阶上长满青苔，森暗门廊用粗犷的石材建成。有个船夫跳到岸上，把船系在柱子上，然后去按门铃；另一个船夫站在船头，将船一直驶到石阶前。门开处，一个身穿俗里俗气的条纹亚麻夏装制服的仆人引我们走上台阶，方始从昏暗走到光亮处，华贵的钢琴上洒满阳光，丁托列托学派的壁画与这壮丽府邸交相辉映。

188

-

The palace was a little less than it sounded, a narrow Palladian facade, mossy steps, a dark archway of rusticated stone. One boatman leapt ashore, made fast to the post, rang the bell; the other stood on the prow keeping the craft in to the steps. The doors opened; a man in rather raffish summer livery of striped linen led us up the stairs from shadow into light; the piano nobile was in full sunshine, ablaze with frescoes of the school of Tintoretto.

189

-

我们的房间在楼上，要上一段委实很陡的大理石楼梯，房间的百叶窗关着以便遮挡阳光。仆人把窗子推开，我们看到了外面的大运河。床上挂着蚊帐。

189

-

Our rooms were on the floor above, reached by a precipitous marble staircase; they were shuttered against the afternoon sun; the butler threw them open and we looked out on the grand canal; the beds had mosquito nets.

190

-

“现在没有蚊子。”

190

-

‘Mostica not now.’

191

-

每个房间都只有一个不算大的衣橱，一面镀金框的雾雾沼沼的镜子。地板是裸大理石，没有铺地毯。

191

-

There was a little bulbous press in each room, a misty, gilt-framed mirror, and no other furniture. The floor was of bare marble slabs.

192

-

“觉没觉得有点儿萧瑟凄凉？”塞巴斯蒂安问。

192

-

‘A bit bleak?’ asked Sebastian.

193

-

“萧瑟凄凉？看这个。”我把他又带到窗前，看向下面和周遭举世无双的风景。

193

-

‘Bleak? Look at that.’ I led him again to the window and the incomparable pageant below and about us.

194

-

“当然不了，你怎么能说萧瑟凄凉呢。”

194

-

‘No’, you couldn’t call it bleak.’

195

-

这时隔壁一阵巨大的爆裂声把我们吸引过去。是一间浴室，窄得好像是建在烟囱里了。没有天花板，墙壁直接连着上层楼板，再一直通到露天。老古董锅炉产生的氤氲蒸汽中隐约可见男仆的影子。空气中满是刺鼻的煤气味儿，一小股凉水汇成涓流。

195

-

A tremendous explosion drew us next door. We found a bathroom which seemed to have been built in a chimney. There was no ceiling; instead the walls ran straight through the floor above to the open sky. The butler was almost invisible in the steam of an antiquated geyser. There was an overpowering smell of gas and a tiny trickle of cold water.

196

-

“没法儿用了。”

196

-

‘No good.’

197

-

“是，是，真是意外，先生[5]。”

[5]原文为意大利文。

197

-

‘Si, Si, subito signori.’

198

-

仆人跑到楼梯顶上，朝着下面大声喊着什么，有个女人的声音答应着，比他的声音更响。我和塞巴斯蒂安又回到我们的房间，观望窗下景色。过了一会儿，争吵结束，一个女人和一个小孩进了我们房间，朝我们笑笑，又对那个仆人皱了皱眉头，把一只银面盆和装满热水的水罐放在塞巴斯蒂安的衣橱上。这时仆人打开我们的行装，叠好，他跟我们说那个热水锅炉种种无法言说的优点，说着说着兀自说上意大利语了，直到他突然抬起头来，警觉着，说了一声“侯爵来了”[6]，然后拔腿就下楼去了。

[6]原文为意大利文。

198

-

The butler ran to the top of the staircase and began to shout down it; a female voice, more strident than his answered. Sebastian and I returned to the spectacle below our windows. Presently the argument came to an, end and a woman and child appeared, who smiled at us, scowled at the butler, and put on Sebastian’s press I a silver basin and ewer of boiling water. The butler meanwhile unpacked and folded our clothes and, lapsing into Italian, told us of the unrecognized merits of the geyser, until suddenly cocking his head sideways he became alert, said ‘II marchese,’ and darted downstairs.

199

-

“我们得穿得体体面面地再去见我爸爸，”塞巴斯蒂安说，“倒不是穿礼服。我估计现在他没有客人。”

199

-

‘We’d better look respectable before meeting papa,’ said Sebastian. ‘We needn’t dress.I gather he’s alone at the moment.’

200

-

我心里充满好奇，急于想见到马奇梅因勋爵。当我见到他时，首先就被他从容淡定的仪态打动了，见面次数越多，我越觉得人家的仪态值得好一番探究。他似乎很能够意识到自己身带着拜伦的气质，又觉得这种气质并不甚佳，所以在努力抑制中。他站在客厅的阳台上，回转身欢迎我们的时候，神情黯然。我只知道眼前是一个高大挺拔的身影。

200

-

I was full of curiosity to meet Lord Marchmain. When I did so I was first struck by his normality, which, as I saw more of him, I found to be studied. It was as though he were conscious of a Byronic aura, which he considered to be in bad taste and was at pains to suppress. He was standing on the balcony of the saloon and, as he turned to greet us, his face was in deep shadow. I was aware only of a tall and upright figure.

201

-

“亲爱的爸爸，”塞巴斯蒂安说，“您看上去可真年轻。”

201

-

‘Darling papa,’ said Sebastian, ‘how young you are looking!’

202

-

他亲了马奇梅因勋爵的脸颊，我可自打离开了育婴室就再也没有亲过我父亲，站在塞巴斯蒂安身后很是局促拘谨。

202

-

He kissed Lord Marchmain on the cheek and I, who had not kissed my father since I left the nursery, stood shyly behind him.

203

-

“这是查尔斯。你不觉得我父亲很帅吗，查尔斯？”

203

-

‘This is Charles. Don’t you think my father very handsome, Charles?’

204

-

马奇梅因勋爵跟我握手。

204

-

Lord Marchmain shook my hand.

205

-

“不管是谁给你们查的列车时刻表，”他说，嗓音也是塞巴斯蒂安的，“他真是干了件蠢事。没有这么样一趟车的。”

205

-

‘Whoever looked up your train, ‘ he said - and his voice also was Sebastian’s - ‘made a bêtise. There’s no such one.’

206

-

“我们就是坐这趟车来的。”

206

-

‘We came on it.’

207

-

“怎么会？那时候只有从米兰过来的一趟慢车。那会儿我正在利多啊。下午早些时候我去那里跟职业球员打网球来着——一天里只有那个时候不算太热。我希望你们两个在楼上住得很舒服。这房子只是为一个人的舒适设计的，就是我么。我有个大厅大小的房间，还有个蛮不错的更衣室。其他大房间都让卡拉占上了。”

207

-

‘You can’t have. There was only a slow train from Milan at that time. I was at the Lido. I have taken to playing tennis there with the professional in the early evening. It is the only time of day when it is not too hot. I hope you boys will be fairly comfortable upstairs. This house seems to have been designed for the comfort of only one person, and I am that one. I have a room the size of this and a very decent dressing-room. Cara has taken possession of the other sizeable room.’

208

-

听到他如此随意而又直截了当地说到他的情妇，我呆住了。事后我猜他这么说是为我营造的气氛和效果。

208

-

I was fascinated to hear him speak of his mistress so simply and casually; later I suspected that it was done for effect, for me.

209

-

“她还好吗？”

209

-

‘How is she?’

210

-

“卡拉？很好。我希望是这样。明天她就回来了。这会儿正在布伦塔运河边的别墅看望几个美国朋友。我们去哪儿吃饭呢？倒是可以去‘月神’，不过现在那里全是英国人。你们在家吃会觉得太闷了吧？卡拉明天肯定想出门就餐，这儿的厨子棒极了。”

210

-

‘Cara? Well, I hope. She will be back with us tomorrow. She is visiting some American friends at a villa on the Brenta canal. Where shall we dine? We might go to the Luna, but it is filling up with English now. Would you be too dull at home? Cara is sure to want to go out tomorrow, and the cook here is really quite excellent.’

211

-

他已经离开窗边，全身浸在夕阳余晖里，墙壁上的红色织锦衬在他身后。那是张贵族脸，克制，正是他想表现出来的样子。约略有些疲倦，约略有些嘲讽，还有些纵欲过度的蛛丝马迹。看起来他正值盛年。想着他只比我父亲小几岁，这让人费解。

211

-

He had moved away from the window and now stood in the full evening sunlight, with the red damask of the walls behind him. It was a noble face, a controlled one, just, it seemed, as he planned it to be; slightly weary, slightly sardonic, slightly voluptuous.? He seemed in the prime of life- it was odd to think that he was only a few years younger than my father.

212

-

我们在窗边的大理石桌上吃晚饭。房子里的东西不是大理石的就是丝绒的，要不就是镀金的石膏制品。马奇梅因勋爵问：“你们在这儿打算怎么度过？是海水浴，还是观光游览？”

212

-

We dined at a marble table in the windows; everything was either of marble, or velvet, or dull, gilt gesso, in this house. Lord Marchmain said, ‘And how do you plan your time here? Bathing or sight-seeing?’

213

-

“无论如何，多少观光一下。”我说。

213

-

‘Some sight-seeing, anyway,’ I said.

214

-

“卡拉一定会喜欢你这么说的——她……塞巴斯蒂安一定告诉你了，她是这儿的女主人。鱼和熊掌不可兼得，你知道。你们到了利多浴场可就走不了了……玩玩十五子棋，泡泡酒吧什么的，再给太阳晒得没了知觉……可还得坚持去教堂。”

214

-

‘Cara will like that - she, as Sebastian will have told you, is your hostess here. You can’t do both, you know. Once you go to the Lido there is no escaping - you play backgammon, you get caught at the bar, you get stupefied by the sun. Stick to the churches.’

215

-

“查尔斯爱画画。”塞巴斯蒂安说。

215

-

‘Charles is very keen on painting,.’ said Sebastian.

216

-

“真的？”我听出来他语气中所带的嫌恶了，这种语气在我父亲那里太过熟悉了。

216

-

‘Yes?’ I noticed the hint of deep boredom which I knew so well in my own father.

217

-

“是吗？喜欢威尼斯的画家吗？”

217

-

‘Yes? Any particular Venetian painter?’

218

-

“贝里尼。”我简单粗暴地应答。

218

-

‘Bellini,’ I answered rather wildly.

219

-

“贝里尼？哪个贝里尼？”

219

-

‘Yes? Which?’

220

-

“我恐怕不知道有两个贝里尼。”

220

-

‘I’m afraid that I didn’t know there were two of them.’

221

-

“确切说有三个。你会发现在大时代，绘画常常是整个家族的营生。你们来时英国怎么样？”

221

-

‘Three to be precise. You will find that in the great ages painting was very much a family business. How did you leave England?’

222

-

“很迷人。”塞巴斯蒂安说。

222

-

‘It has been lovely,’ said Sebastian.

223

-

“真的吗？它迷人过吗？我讨厌英格兰农村，这一直是我的悲剧。承继了大责任，可对这些责任又委实提不起关心，这是很丢脸的事情。我现在这样完全符合社会主义者对我的指望，我已经是我那个党的一块绊脚石了。我的长子会改变这一切的，毋庸置疑，只要他们让他继承一些什么……呃，我纳了闷了，为什么人们老是认为意大利甜食最好呢？我父亲当家以前，布莱兹赫德请的是意大利糕点师，后来我父亲用了一位奥地利的，一下子好多了。我想那儿现在用着的是一位大粗胳膊的厨娘吧。”

223

-

‘Was it? Was it? It has been my tragedy that I abominate the English countryside. I suppose it is a disgraceful thing to inherit great responsibilities and to be entirely indifferent to them. I am all the Socialists would have me be, and a great stumbling-block to my own party. Well, my elder son will change all that, I’ve no doubt, if they leave him anything to inherit...Why, I wonder, are Italian sweets always thought to be so good? There was always an Italian pastry-cook at Brideshead until my father’s day. He had an Austrian, so much better. And now I suppose there is some British matron with beefy forearms.’

224

-

餐后我们离开府邸，出了街门，我们走过曲折迷宫似的石桥、广场和小巷子，去佛罗莱恩[7]喝咖啡，边喝边看钟楼下奔流熙攘的人群。“没有哪个地方像威尼斯。”马奇梅因勋爵说，“这城市跟着无政府主义者一块儿往前爬，一天晚上，有个裸着肩膀的美国女人想在这儿坐坐，他们就跑来悄无声息地盯着她——就像绕着船盘旋的海鸥一样死盯着她不放……就这么把人家赶跑了。而我们英国人，即使想表达道义上的不赞成，也没这么不成体统。”

[7]佛罗莱恩是世界上享有盛名且昂贵的咖啡馆。

224

-

After dinner we left the palace by the street door and walked through a maze of.bridges and squares and alleys, to Florian’s for coffee, and watched the grave crowds crossing and recrossing under the campanile. ‘There is nothing quite like a Venetian crowd,’ said Lord Marchmain. ‘The city is crawling with Anarchists, - but an American woman tried to sit here the other night with bare shoulders and they drove her away by coming to stare at her, quite silently; they were like circling gulls coming back and back to her, until she left. Our countrymen are much less dignified when they attempt to express moral disapproval.’

225

-

这时一帮英国人正从水边过来，向我们旁边的一张桌子走去，可又突然走到另一头，坐在那边刁棱着眼睛看着我们，把头凑到一块儿嘀嘀咕咕的。“过去我在政界时，认识那边那个男人和他老婆。他叫塞巴斯蒂安，是你们那个教派的一位著名人物来的。”

225

-

An English party had just then come from the waterfront, made for a table near us, and then suddenly moved to the other side, where they looked askance at us and talked with their heads close together. ‘That is a man and his wife I used to know when I was in politics. A prominent member of your church, Sebastian.’

226

-

当天晚上我们临睡前，塞巴斯蒂安说：“他可真是个好‘宝贝’，不是吗？”

226

-

As we went up to bed that night Sebastian said: ‘He’s rather a poppet, isn’t he?’

227

-

第二天，马奇梅因勋爵的情妇来了。我虽说已经十九岁了，可对女人仍然一无所知。要是走在大街上让我辨认出哪个是妓女来，我也是没有什么把握的。跟他们这对儿有不正当婚外恋关系的男女共处同一屋檐下，在我，实际上并不很在意，只是十九岁的年纪也足以让我掩饰起自己的好奇心罢了。因此，马奇梅因勋爵的情妇是看得出我对她抱着很多相互矛盾的期望的——只是这一切期望，全都因为她的相貌而打了大大的折扣。她的样子不像图卢兹-劳特尔克[8]画笔下土耳其后宫里那般足以引起性欲的女奴，却也不是小娇娇。虽已届中年，却保养得很好，衣着考究，举止优雅——跟我在好多公共场合见到，或偶尔遇到的那些女人别无二致，身上也没有那些社会上的陈规陋习。她来到的那天，我们正在利多餐厅吃午饭，餐厅里每一桌客人都向她致礼。

[8]法国后印象派画家，所画多为舞者、妓女等中下层人物。

227

-

Lord Marchmain’s mistress arrived next day. I was nineteen years old and completely ignorant of women. I could not with any certainty recognize a prostitute in the streets. I was therefore not indifferent to the fact of living under the roof of an adulterous couple, but I was old enough to hide my interest. Lord Marchmain’s mistress, therefore, found me with a multitude of conflicting expectations about her all of which were, for the moment, disappointed by her appearance.She was not a voluptuous, Toulouse-Lautrec odalisque; she was not a ‘little bit of fluff’; she was a middle-aged, well-preserved, well-dressed, well-mannered woman such as I had seen in countless public places and occasionally met. Nor did she seem marked by any social stigma. On the day of her arrival we lunched at the Lido, where she was greeted at almost every table.?

228

-

“维多利亚·科隆波娜邀请我们参加她星期六的舞会。”

228

-

‘Vittoria Corombona has asked us all to her ball on Saturday.’

229

-

“她真是太好了。但你知道我可不跳舞。”马奇梅因勋爵说。

229

-

‘It is very kind of her. You know I do not dance,’ said Lord Marchmain.

230

-

“男孩子们呢？去吧。那地方很值得一看——科隆波娜府办起跳舞会来可是灯火通明呢。真说不准以后还会不会举行这么盛大的舞会了。”

230

-

‘But for the boys? It is a thing to be seen - the Corombona palace lit up for the ball.One does not know how many such balls there will be in the future.’

231

-

“他们想怎么样随他们的便。我们敬谢不敏。”

231

-

‘The boys can do as they like. We must refuse.’

232

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“另外我还请了哈金·布伦纳太太过来吃中饭。她女儿很漂亮……塞巴斯蒂安和他的朋友准会喜欢。”

232

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‘And I have asked Mrs Hacking Brunner to luncheon. She has a charming daughter.Sebastian and his friend will like her.’

233

-

“塞巴斯蒂安和他的朋友对贝里尼的兴趣可比对那个女继承人要多一大块。”

233

-

‘Sebastian and his friend are more interested in Bellini than heiresses.’

234

-

“话说我一直希望如此呀。”卡拉说，她灵活地变换了她的攻击方向，“我来这里的次数多到数不清，可阿力克斯却一次也没有让我进到圣马可里面看过。我们得好好游览一番了，是不是？”

234

-

‘But that is what I have always wished,’ said Cara, changing her point of attack adroitly. ‘I have been here more times than I can count and Alex has not once let me inside San Marco, even. We will become tourists, yes?’

235

-

我们的确很是游览了一番。卡拉找到一位对四海八方都很熟悉的矮个儿威尼斯贵族当导游，她跟随在侧，手里拿着旅游册子，与我们同游。虽然经常给累得够呛，可我们断断没有放弃一处威尼斯华丽壮观的景致。

235

-

We became tourists; Cara enlisted as guide a midget Venetian nobleman to whom all doors were open and with him at her side and a guide book in her hand, she came with us, flagging sometimes but never giving up, a neat, prosaic figure amid the immense splendours of the place.

236

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在威尼斯的这两周，日子过得又快又甜蜜——可能甜蜜过了头。我浸在蜜糖之中，无忧无虑地不知今昔是何年。

236

-

The fortnight at Venice passed quickly and sweetly - perhaps too sweetly; I was drowning in honey, stingless.

237

-

有那么几日，时光就消磨在了冈朵拉上，小船缓缓地驶过运河的支流，船夫警醒前方船只时会发出宛转的鸟鸣声……有那么几日，我们坐着快船驰骋在人工湖上，朵朵浪花在阳光下闪着光亮。今时留下的混杂的回忆则是沙滩上燃烧的太阳和大理石建筑里的清凉，水花拍击着光滑的岩石，满是绘画的穹顶上映射着斑斓的光点。在科隆波娜的尊贵府上度过的那些夜晚，十足就是拜伦可能度过的那种夜晚一样……还有另外一个拜伦式的夜晚——在齐欧治亚的浅滩上钓虾，小船后面泛起的粼粼波光，船头摇摇晃晃的灯，渔网里满满的水草、泥沙和欢蹦乱跳的鱼。还记得那些清凉的早晨，我们在阳台上吃蜜瓜和熏火腿，在哈里酒吧吃热奶酪三明治，喝香槟鸡尾酒。

237

-

On some days life kept pace with the gondola, as we nosed through the sidecanals and the boatman uttered his plaintive musical bird-cry of warning; on other days with the speed-boat bouncing over the lagoon in a stream of sun-lit foam; it left a confused memory of fierce sunlight on the sands and cool, marble interiors; of water everywhere, lapping on smooth stone, reflected in a dapple of light on painted ceilings; of a night at the Corombona palace such as Byron might have known, and another Byronic night fishing for scampi in the shallows of Chioggia, the phosphorescent wake of the little ship, the lantern swinging in the prow, and the net coming up full of weed and sand and floundering fishes; of melon and prosciutto on the balcony in the cool of the morning; of hot cheese sandwiches and champagne cocktails at Harry’s bar.

238

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我记得塞巴斯蒂安仰头看着那座科莱奥尼[9]铜像时说：“一想到不管发生什么你我都不会卷入到战争中去，就足够让人悲伤的了。”

[9]指位于威尼斯圣马可广场的著名雕像。

238

-

I remember Sebastian looking up at the Colleoni statue and saying, ‘It’s rather sad to think that whatever happens you and I can never possibly get involved in a war.’

239

-

我还特别记住了旅行结束时的那一番谈话。

239

-

I remember most particularly one conversation towards the end of my visit.

240

-

当时塞巴斯蒂安和他父亲打网球去了，卡拉也总算承认自己累到不行了。日薄西山，我们坐在窗前，看着下面的大运河；她坐在沙发上做针线，我坐在扶手椅里闲着发呆。这还是头一次只有我们两个人单独在一起待着。

240

-

Sebastian had gone to play tennis with his father and Cara at last admitted to fatigue. We sat in the late afternoon at the windows overlooking the Grand Canal, she on the sofa with a piece of needlework, I in an armchair, idle. It was the first time we had been alone together.

241

-

“我想你很喜欢塞巴斯蒂安。”她说。

241

-

‘I think you are very -fond of Sebastian,’ she said.

242

-

“嗯，确实。”

242

-

‘Why, certainly.’

243

-

“我知道英国人和德国人之间的那种浪漫友谊——跟拉丁族裔之间的不同……倘若持续时间并不很久的话，我觉得还不坏呢。”

243

-

‘I know of these romantic friendships of the English and the Germans. They are not Latin. I think they are very good if they do not go on too long.’

244

-

她说这话时既淡定从容，又满满地实事求是，我怎么可能意会错她的弦外之音，可就是一时语塞，找不到话来答她。她好像也没有指望我会给出答复似的，兀自做着她的针线，间或从身边的针线袋里拿出块绸子来比对。

244

-

She was so composed and matter-of-fact that I could not take her amiss, but I failed to find an answer. She seemed not to expect one but continued stitching, pausing sometimes to match the silk from a work-bag at her side.?

245

-

“这是某种爱吧，在懵懂的孩提时代就会生发出这样的感情。可要是在英国，这种爱却是在即将成人时才会发生的。我想我是很喜欢这样的感情的——对另一个男孩子有这种爱要比对一个女孩子好得多。你看，阿力克斯对一个女孩——他妻子——就有过这种爱。你觉得他爱我么？”

245

-

‘It is a kind of love that comes to children before they know its meaning. In England it comes when you are almost men; I think I like that. It is better to have that kind of love for another boy than for a girl. Alex you see had it for a girl, for his wife. Do you think he loves me?’

246

-

“卡拉，这真的是……这可真是个超级难回答的问题呢……我怎么会知道他爱不爱你？我觉得……”

246

-

‘Really, Cara, you ask the most embarrassing questions. How should I know? I assume...’

247

-

“他不爱我……但也不是一丁点儿都不爱。可为什么要和我在一起呢？听我跟你说，就是因为我能免得使他跟马奇梅因夫人拴在一块儿。他恨她，可是又无从知道有多恨。你觉得他水深静流，英国派头十足——就是这样的一位英国绅士，厌倦了声色犬马，丧失了一切热情，只想静静找个安逸、不受任何打扰，什么事情也烦不着他的舒服日子过，还得需要我这么一个人替他打理那些男人自己打理不来的事情……我的朋友，他是一座充满仇恨的火山。他不能跟她呼吸同一个地方的空气，他也不会踏足英国的土地半步，因为那儿是她的家。他跟塞巴斯蒂安在一起也是很难高兴起来的，就因为塞巴斯蒂安是她的儿子。不过话又说回来，塞巴斯蒂安也一样恨她。”

247

-

‘He does not. But not the littlest piece. Then why does he stay with me? I will tell you; because I protect him from Lady Marchmain. He hates her; but you can have no conception how he hates her. You would think him so calm and English - the milord, rather blasé, all passion dead, wishing to be comfortable and not to be worried, following the sun, with me to look after that one thing that no man can do for himself. My friend, he is a volcano of hate. He cannot breathe the same air as she. He will not set foot in England because it is her home; he can scarcely be happy with Sebastian because he is her son. But Sebastian hates her too.’

248

-

“这一点上你肯定错了。”

248

-

‘I’m sure you’re wrong there.’

249

-

“他未必会对你承认这个——对他自己或许都不承认呢。他们心里全都是恨，简直恨意丛生啊——恨的就是他们自己。阿力克斯和他一家子都这样……你觉得他因何永不踏入社交界？”

249

-

‘He may not admit it to you. He may not admit it to himself; they are full of hate - hate of themselves. Alex and his family...Why do you think he will never go into Society?’

250

-

“我一直以为大家都在忤逆于他。”

250

-

‘I always thought people had turned against him.’

251

-

“亲爱的孩子，你太年轻、太天真了。人们会忤逆一个像阿力克斯这样英俊聪明、有型有款又有钱的人吗？根本不能够。其实是他把别人拒之千里之外的。可即使是今天，他们仍然三番四次地跑到他这儿来，愿意受他的冷落和轻怠——都是因为马奇梅因夫人。举凡谁和她有过接触，他都不愿意再去接触；举凡哪个客人来拜访了，我就能看出他在私底下琢磨‘他们十有八九是从布莱兹赫德庄园来的？是去马奇梅因大宅途经此地的？会不会跟我妻子谈起我？是不是在我和我痛恨的她之间游说搭桥的？”

251

-

‘My dear boy, you are very young. People turn against a handsome, clever, wealthy man like Alex? Never in your life. It is he who has driven them away. Even now they come back again and again to be snubbed and laughed at. And all for Lady Marchmain. He will not touch a hand which may have touched hers. When we have guests I see him thinking, “Have they perhaps just come from Brideshead? Are they on their way to Marchmain House? Will they speak of me to my wife? Are they a link between me and her whom I hate?”

252

-

说老实话，我认为他就是这么想的。他都疯了。她何情何故要遭受这样的仇恨呢？她并没有做过什么……只不过曾经被某个还没长大的毛孩子爱上了而已。我虽然从来没跟马奇梅因夫人正式见过面，但我看见过她一回，算是有过一面之缘。不过么，倘若是你和一个男人同居，你便会了解他爱过的女人是什么样子。我很了解马奇梅因夫人，人很善良，又很纯真，只是曾经被人错爱过。

252

-

But, seriously, with my heart, that is how he thinks. He is mad. And how has she deserved all this hate? She has done nothing except to be loved by someone who was not grown up. I have never met Lady Marchmain; I have seen her once only; but if you live with a man you come to know the other woman he has loved.? I know Lady Marchmain very well. She is a good and simple woman who has been loved in the wrong way.

253

-

“当人们把全部精力都用去仇恨时，往往仇恨的正是他们自己。阿力克斯仇恨的是他幼年时所有的幻想，天真、上帝、希望，等等。而可怜的马奇梅因夫人就不得不承受这一切。对女人来说，爱一个人可断断不是这个爱法。

253

-

‘When people hate with all that energy, it is something in themselves they are hating. Alex is hating all the illusions of boyhood - innocence, God, hope. Poor Lady Marchmain has to bear all that. A woman has not all these ways of loving.

254

-

“阿力克斯现在是很喜欢我，我也在保护着他，保护他的天真免受伤害侵扰。我们这样过得还不赖呢。

254

-

‘Now Alex is very fond of me and I protect him from his own innocence. We are comfortable.

255

-

“塞巴斯蒂安爱的是少年时的自己。这将会使他非常、非常不愉快。他的泰迪熊、他的保姆……可他到底已经十九岁了……”

255

-

‘Sebastian is in love with his own childhood. That will make him very unhappy. His teddy-bear, his nanny and he is nineteen years old... ‘

256

-

她在沙发上动了动，换了个能让自己看到窗下来往游船的位置，然后便用欢快又嘲弄的语气说：“坐在荫凉地里谈情说爱当真是美事一桩呀。”言毕忽然话锋一沉，“塞巴斯蒂安酒喝得太多了。”

256

-

She stirred on her sofa, shifting her weight so that she could look down at the passing boats, and said in fond, mocking tones: ‘How good it is to sit in the shade and talk of love,’ and then added with a sudden swoop to earth, ‘Sebastian drinks too much.’

257

-

“想必我们俩都喝得多。”

257

-

‘I suppose we both do.’

258

-

“你喝得多不打紧——我看过你们两个人喝酒——可塞巴斯蒂安就不行。要是没有人出来阻止他的话，他会一直喝喝喝喝成一个酒鬼。相信我，这种事情我见得多了。我遇到阿力克斯时他就差不多是一个酒鬼了——好酒贪杯是天生的、血液里自带的特质，我从塞巴斯蒂安喝酒的路数看出来他有这个苗头。你就不是那种喝法。”

258

-

‘With you it does not matter. I have watched you together. With Sebastian it is different. He will be a drunkard if someone does not come to stop him. I have known so many. Alex was nearly a drunkard when he met me; it is in the blood. I see it in the way Sebastian drinks. It is not your way.’

259

-

我们在开学前一天到达伦敦。从繁华的市中心查令十字街出发的路上，我把塞巴斯蒂安放到他母亲府邸的前庭下的车。“‘马奇家’到了，”说着还叹了口气，表示假期行将完结，“我就不请你进去了，里边全是我的家人。牛津再见好了。”我坐车穿过公园回到家里。

259

-

We arrived in London on the day before term began. On the way from Charing Cross I dropped Sebastian in the forecourt of his mother’s house; ‘Here is “Marchers”,’ he said with a sigh which meant the end of a holiday. ‘I won’t ask you in, the place is probably full of my family. We’ll meet at Oxford’; I drove across the park to my home.

260

-

我父亲用他一直以来的那种温文尔雅又略带遗憾的态度与我打了招呼。

260

-

My father greeted me with, his usual air of mild regret.?

261

-

“时间飞逝啊，”他说，“今日归来，明日归去。我仿佛和你见面见得太少了。可能你在家感觉无聊吧……否则还能有别的什么原因呢？你总归自得其乐了，玩得开心吧？”

261

-

‘Here today,’ he said; ‘gone tomorrow. I seem to see very little of you. Perhaps it is dull for you here. How could it be otherwise? You have enjoyed yourself.’

262

-

“很开心。我去了威尼斯。”

262

-

‘Very much. I went to Venice.’

263

-

“哦，好。我猜到会是这样。那里天气可还好？”他一整晚都闷声不吭地研究着什么，直到快上床睡觉了，他才停了一下问道：“你十分关心的那位朋友，他死了没有？”

263

-

‘Yes. Yes. I suppose so. The weather was fine?’ When he went to bed after an evening of silent study, he paused to ask: ‘The friend you were so much concerned about, did he die?’

264

-

“没死。”

264

-