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堂吉诃德|Don Quixote

Part 2 第71章|Part 2 Chapter 69

属类： 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 塞万提斯] 阅读：[44494]
《堂吉诃德》是一部幽默诙谐、滑稽可笑、充满了奇思妙想的长篇文学巨著。此书主要描写了一个有趣、可敬、可悲、喜欢自欺欺人的没落贵族堂吉诃德，他痴狂地迷恋古代骑士小说，以至于放弃家业，用破甲驽马装扮成古代骑士的样子，再雇佣农民桑乔作侍从，三次出征周游全国，去创建所谓的扶弱锄强的骑士业绩。他们在征险的生涯中闹出了许多笑话，到处碰壁受辱，堂吉诃德多次被打成重伤，有一次还被当成疯子关在笼子里遣送回乡。最后，他因征战不利郁郁寡欢而与世长辞，临终前他那一番貌似悔悟的话语让人匪夷所思又哭笑不得。
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战败以后失魂落魄的唐吉诃德一方面郁郁不乐，另一方面心里又很高兴。他悲的是自己被打败了，喜的是发现了桑乔的本领居然能让阿尔蒂西多拉起死回生。不过，唐吉诃德对此仍有一点儿疑虑，他以为阿尔蒂西多拉并没有真正死去。桑乔却一点儿也不高兴，因为阿尔蒂西多拉答应给他衬衫，却并没有给他。想来想去，桑乔对唐吉诃德说：

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“说实话，大人，可以说我大概是世界上最倒霉的医生了。别的医生把他看的病人治死了，还让人家掏看病钱。他们做的只不过是开个药方，在上面签个名，而且药还不是他们做的，是药房做的，让病人喝下去就算完事了。可是我呢，为了给别人治病，我得流血得让人胡噜，还得让人又掐又扎又打，我自己却什么好处也没得到。我发誓，下次若是再有人找我看病，我得先让他给我上点儿供。修道院长还得靠唱歌挣饭吃呢。我就不信老天教给我看病的本领，却让我白白地给别人看病。”

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“说得对，桑乔，”唐吉诃德说，“阿尔蒂西多拉答应给你衬衫却没给，她这样做很不好。尽管你那本领是白捡的，没费什么工夫去学，可你是通过挨打受罪才掌握这个本领的。从我这方面来说，如果你原来提出为解除附在杜尔西内亚身上的魔法而要报酬，我早就付你一大笔钱了。不过，我不知道拿了钱以后再治病是否还奏效。我可不想让金钱影响疗效。尽管如此，我觉得咱们不妨试试。桑乔，你先说，你想要多少钱，然后你就鞭打自己吧，钱最后扣除，反正我的钱都在你手里呢。”

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桑乔一听这话立刻睁大了眼睛，把耳朵伸出一拃长。只要能得到优厚的报酬，他打心眼里愿意自己打自己。他对唐吉诃德说：

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“那么好吧，大人，我愿意满足您的愿望，那样我自己也可以得到好处。我非常爱我的孩子和老婆，而这使得我需要钱。您说吧，我每打自己一鞭子您给我多少钱？”

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“桑乔，”唐吉诃德说，“你这本是件功德无量的事，我即使把威尼斯的财宝和波托西的矿藏全都给你也不为过。你估计你身上有我多少钱，开个价吧，每打一鞭子给你多少钱。”

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“一共得打三千三百多下，”桑乔说，“我已经打了自己五下，其余的还没动呢。把这五鞭子算作零头去掉，还剩下三千三百鞭子。就算每鞭一个夸尔蒂约吧，如果再少，谁逼我干我也不干了，那就是三千三百个夸尔蒂约；三千夸尔蒂约就是一千五百个二分之一的雷阿尔，相当于七百五十个雷阿尔；三百个夸尔蒂约就是一百五十个二分之一的雷阿尔，相当于七十五个雷阿尔；再加上七百五十个雷阿尔就是八百二十五个雷阿尔。这钱我得从您的钱里扣出来。那么我虽然挨了鞭子，回家时毕竟有钱了，心里也高兴。要想抓到鱼……我不说了①。”

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①下半句是“就得湿裤子”。

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“积德行善的桑乔啊，可爱的桑乔啊，”唐吉诃德说，“我和杜尔西内亚这辈子该如何报答你呀！如果这次能成功，她肯定会恢复原貌，她的不幸就会转化为幸运，我的失败也就会转化为极大的成功。桑乔，你看你什么时候开始鞭打呀？为了让你早点儿动手，我再给你加一百个雷阿尔。”

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“什么时候？”桑乔说，“就今天晚上吧。你准备好，咱们今晚露宿在野外，我一定把自己打得皮开肉绽。”

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唐吉诃德急不可耐地等着夜晚到来。他觉得太阳神的车子好像车轮坏了，他就像情人期待幽会那样，觉得那天特别长，而没有意识到是自己太着急了。夜晚终于到来了。他们来到离大路不远的一片葱郁的树林中，从马背上和驴背上下来，躺在绿色的草地上吃着桑乔带来的干粮。吃完东西后，桑乔用驴的缰绳做成一根粗而有弹性的鞭子，来到离主人大约二十步远的几棵山毛榉树中间。唐吉诃德见到桑乔那副毅然决然的样子，对他说道：

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“朋友，别把自己打坏了，打几下就停一停，别急着使劲打，中间歇口气儿。我是说你别打得太狠了，结果还没打够数就送了命。为了避免你计错数，我在旁边用念珠给你记着鞭数。但愿老天成全你的好意。”

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“没有金刚钻，就不揽瓷器活儿。”桑乔说，“我自有办法既不把自己打死，也不把自己打疼，这样才算显出我的神通。”

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桑乔说完脱光了自己上半身的衣服，抓过鞭子开始抽打自己，唐吉诃德则开始为他计数。刚打了七八下，桑乔就意识到这个玩笑开得太重了，自己开的价也太低了。他停了一下，对唐吉诃德说刚才自己吃亏了，他觉得每鞭应该付半个雷阿尔，而不是一个夸尔蒂约。”

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“你接着打吧，桑乔朋友，”唐吉诃德说，“别松劲儿，我把价钱提高一倍。”

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“既然这样，”桑乔说，“那就听天由命吧，让鞭子像雨点一般地打来吧！”

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可是，狡滑的桑乔并没有把鞭子打在自己的背上，而是打到了树干上，而且每打一下还呻吟一下，仿佛每一下都打得非常狠似的。唐吉诃德心肠软，怕桑乔不小心把自己打死，那么他的目的也就达不到了，便对桑乔说道：

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“喂，朋友，为了你的性命，咱们这次还是到这儿为止吧。我觉得这副药太厉害了，得慢慢来。一口吃不成胖子。如果我没数错的话，你已经打了自己一千多下。这次打这么多就够了，驴虽然能负重，太重了也驮不动。”唐吉诃德说话就是这么粗鲁。

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“不，不，大人，”桑乔说，“我可不想让人说我拿了钱就不认帐。您让开一点儿，让我再打一千下，有这么两回就可以完事了，也许还能有富余呢。”

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“既然你能受得了，”唐吉诃德说，“愿老天助你一臂之力。

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你打吧，我走开一点儿。”

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桑乔又继续抽下去，把好几棵树的树皮都抽得脱落了。由此可见他抽得有多狠。有一次他狠命地抽打一棵山毛榉，竟提高了嗓门喊道：

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“参孙啊，我宁愿与他们同归于尽！”

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听到这凄厉的喊声和猛烈的抽打声，唐吉诃德赶紧跑了过来。他抓住桑乔那根用缰绳做的鞭子，对桑乔说道：

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“桑乔，命运不允许你为了我的利益而牺牲你的性命。你还得养活老婆孩子呢，还是让杜尔西内亚再等个更好的机会吧。实现我的愿望已经指日可待，我知足了。你还是先养足精神，找个大家都合适的时候再了结这件事情吧。”

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“我的大人，”桑乔说，“既然您愿意这样，就先打到这儿吧。您把您的外衣被到我背上吧。我出了一身汗，可千万别着凉，初次受鞭笞的人最怕着凉。”

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唐吉诃德把自己的外衣脱下来给桑乔披上，自己仅穿着内衣。桑乔裹着唐吉诃德的外衣睡着了，一觉睡到了日出。两人继续赶路，走了三西里远。

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他们在一个客店前下了马和驴。唐吉诃德认出那只是一个客店，而不是什么带有壕沟、瞭望塔、吊门和吊桥的城堡。自从吃了败仗以后，唐吉诃德比以前清醒多了，下面就可以证明这一点。他们被安排到楼下的一个房间里。在房间的墙壁上，按照当时农村的习惯挂着几幅旧皮雕画，其中一幅拙劣地画着海伦被特洛伊王子帕里斯从墨涅拉俄斯①，那儿拐走的情景；另一幅画的是狄多和埃涅阿斯的故事。狄多站在一座高塔上，挥舞着半条床单，向海上乘着三桅船或双桅船逃亡的远客示意。唐吉诃德发现画上的海伦并非不情愿，因为她正在偷偷地笑；而美丽的狄多脸上则淌出了胡桃般大小的泪珠。唐吉诃德说道：

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①在希腊神话中，帕里斯从海伦的丈夫墨涅拉俄斯处拐走了海伦，引起了特洛伊战争。

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“这两位夫人没有出生在当今的时代真是太不幸了，而我没有出生在她们那个年代也很不幸。那几个人若是遇到了我，特洛伊就不会被烧掉，伽太基也不会被毁掉，我一个人就可以把帕里斯杀掉，就可以免除这些灾难！”

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“我敢打赌，”桑乔说，“不用多久，所有酒店、客店、旅馆或者理发店，都不会不把咱们的事迹画上去。我希望有比这些人更优秀的画家来画出咱们的事迹。”

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“你说得对，桑乔，”唐吉诃德说，“而且，这个画家应该像乌韦达的画家奥瓦内哈那样，人家问他画的是什么东西时，他说：‘像什么就是什么。’如果他偶然画出了一只公鸡，他就会在下面注上：“这是一只公鸡。”免得别人以为他画的是一只狐狸。桑乔，绘画和写作其实是一回事，我觉得那个出版了唐吉诃德新传的家伙，大概就是这样的人，他写的像什么就算什么。他大概也像多年前宫廷的一位叫毛莱翁的诗人一样，别人问他什么他都信口乱说。别人问他Deum　de　Deo是什么意思，他就说是De　donde　diere①。不过，咱们暂且不谈这些吧。桑乔，你告诉我，你是否愿意今天晚上再打自己一顿？而且，你是愿意在屋里打呢，还是愿意在露天打？”

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①前句为拉丁文“上帝啊”的意思，后句为西班牙文“无论从哪儿来”的意思。两句形相近，意义不同。

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“大人呀，”桑乔说，“我觉得在屋里打和在野外打都一样，不过最好还是在树林里，这样我就会觉得有那些树同我在一起，可以神奇地同我分享痛苦。”

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“那就算了，桑乔朋友，”唐吉诃德说，“你还是养精蓄锐，等咱们回到村里再打吧。最迟后天，咱们就可以到家了。”

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桑乔说随唐吉诃德的便，但他愿意趁热打铁，一鼓作气，尽快把这件事了结：“‘拖拖拉拉，事情就玄’，‘板上钉钉事竟成’，‘一个在手胜过两个在望’，‘手里的鸟胜过天上的鹰’嘛。”

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“看在上帝份上，你别再说俗语了。”唐吉诃德说，“我看你老毛病又犯了。你有话就直说，别绕弯说那么多乱七八糟的东西。我跟你说过多少次了，你以后会知道这对你有多大好处。”

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“我也不知道这是什么毛病，”桑乔说，“不说点俗语，我就觉得没说清楚。不过，以后我尽可能改吧。”

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他们这次谈话到此结束。

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The horsemen dismounted, and, together with the men on foot, without a moment’s delay taking up Sancho and Don Quixote bodily, they carried them into the court, all round which near a hundred torches fixed in sockets were burning, besides above five hundred lamps in the corridors, so that in spite of the night, which was somewhat dark, the want of daylight could not be perceived. In the middle of the court was a catafalque, raised about two yards above the ground and covered completely by an immense canopy of black velvet, and on the steps all round it white wax tapers burned in more than a hundred silver candlesticks. Upon the catafalque was seen the dead body of a damsel so lovely that by her beauty she made death itself look beautiful. She lay with her head resting upon a cushion of brocade and crowned with a garland of sweet-smelling flowers of divers sorts, her hands crossed upon her bosom, and between them a branch of yellow palm of victory. On one side of the court was erected a stage, where upon two chairs were seated two persons who from having crowns on their heads and sceptres in their hands appeared to be kings of some sort, whether real or mock ones. By the side of this stage, which was reached by steps, were two other chairs on which the men carrying the prisoners seated Don Quixote and Sancho, all in silence, and by signs giving them to understand that they too were to he silent; which, however, they would have been without any signs, for their amazement at all they saw held them tongue-tied. And now two persons of distinction, who were at once recognised by Don Quixote as his hosts the duke and duchess, ascended the stage attended by a numerous suite, and seated themselves on two gorgeous chairs close to the two kings, as they seemed to be. Who would not have been amazed at this? Nor was this all, for Don Quixote had perceived that the dead body on the catafalque was that of the fair Altisidora. As the duke and duchess mounted the stage Don Quixote and Sancho rose and made them a profound obeisance, which they returned by bowing their heads slightly. At this moment an official crossed over, and approaching Sancho threw over him a robe of black buckram painted all over with flames of fire, and taking off his cap put upon his head a mitre such as those undergoing the sentence of the Holy Office wear; and whispered in his ear that he must not open his lips, or they would put a gag upon him, or take his life. Sancho surveyed himself from head to foot and saw himself all ablaze with flames; but as they did not burn him, he did not care two farthings for them. He took off the mitre and seeing painted with devils he put it on again, saying to himself, “Well, so far those don’t burn me nor do these carry me off.” Don Quixote surveyed him too, and though fear had got the better of his faculties, he could not help smiling to see the figure Sancho presented. And now from underneath the catafalque, so it seemed, there rose a low sweet sound of flutes, which, coming unbroken by human voice (for there silence itself kept silence), had a soft and languishing effect. Then, beside the pillow of what seemed to be the dead body, suddenly appeared a fair youth in a Roman habit, who, to the accompaniment of a harp which he himself played, sang in a sweet and clear voice these two stanzas: While fair Altisidora, who the sport Of cold Don Quixote’s cruelty hath been, Returns to life, and in this magic court The dames in sables come to grace the scene, And while her matrons all in seemly sort My lady robes in baize and bombazine, Her beauty and her sorrows will I sing With defter quill than touched the Thracian string.

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But not in life alone, methinks, to me Belongs the office; Lady, when my tongue Is cold in death, believe me, unto thee My voice shall raise its tributary song.

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My soul, from this strait prison-house set free,

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As o’er the Stygian lake it floats along,

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Thy praises singing still shall hold its way,

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And make the waters of oblivion stay.

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At this point one of the two that looked like kings exclaimed, “Enough, enough, divine singer! It would be an endless task to put before us now the death and the charms of the peerless Altisidora, not dead as the ignorant world imagines, but living in the voice of fame and in the penance which Sancho Panza, here present, has to undergo to restore her to the long-lost light. Do thou, therefore, O Rhadamanthus, who sittest in judgment with me in the murky caverns of Dis, as thou knowest all that the inscrutable fates have decreed touching the resuscitation of this damsel, announce and declare it at once, that the happiness we look forward to from her restoration be no longer deferred.”

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No sooner had Minos the fellow judge of Rhadamanthus said this, than Rhadamanthus rising up said:

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“Ho, officials of this house, high and low, great and small, make haste hither one and all, and print on Sancho’s face four-and-twenty smacks, and give him twelve pinches and six pin thrusts in the back and arms; for upon this ceremony depends the restoration of Altisidora.”

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On hearing this Sancho broke silence and cried out, “By all that’s good, I’ll as soon let my face be smacked or handled as turn Moor. Body o’ me! What has handling my face got to do with the resurrection of this damsel? ‘The old woman took kindly to the blits; they enchant Dulcinea, and whip me in order to disenchant her; Altisidora dies of ailments God was pleased to send her, and to bring her to life again they must give me four-and-twenty smacks, and prick holes in my body with pins, and raise weals on my arms with pinches! Try those jokes on a brother-in-law; ‘I’m an old dog, and “tus, tus” is no use with me.’”

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“Thou shalt die,” said Rhadamanthus in a loud voice; “relent, thou tiger; humble thyself, proud Nimrod; suffer and he silent, for no impossibilities are asked of thee; it is not for thee to inquire into the difficulties in this matter; smacked thou must be, pricked thou shalt see thyself, and with pinches thou must be made to howl. Ho, I say, officials, obey my orders; or by the word of an honest man, ye shall see what ye were born for.”

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At this some six duennas, advancing across the court, made their appearance in procession, one after the other, four of them with spectacles, and all with their right hands uplifted, showing four fingers of wrist to make their hands look longer, as is the fashion now-a-days. No sooner had Sancho caught sight of them than, bellowing like a bull, he exclaimed, “I might let myself be handled by all the world; but allow duennas to touch me — not a bit of it! Scratch my face, as my master was served in this very castle; run me through the body with burnished daggers; pinch my arms with red-hot pincers; I’ll bear all in patience to serve these gentlefolk; but I won’t let duennas touch me, though the devil should carry me off!”

12

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Here Don Quixote, too, broke silence, saying to Sancho, “Have patience, my son, and gratify these noble persons, and give all thanks to heaven that it has infused such virtue into thy person, that by its sufferings thou canst disenchant the enchanted and restore to life the dead.”

13

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The duennas were now close to Sancho, and he, having become more tractable and reasonable, settling himself well in his chair presented his face and beard to the first, who delivered him a smack very stoutly laid on, and then made him a low curtsey.

14

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“Less politeness and less paint, senora duenna,” said Sancho; “by God your hands smell of vinegar-wash.”

15

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In fine, all the duennas smacked him and several others of the household pinched him; but what he could not stand was being pricked by the pins; and so, apparently out of patience, he started up out of his chair, and seizing a lighted torch that stood near him fell upon the duennas and the whole set of his tormentors, exclaiming, “Begone, ye ministers of hell; I’m not made of brass not to feel such out-of-the-way tortures.”

16

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At this instant Altisidora, who probably was tired of having been so long lying on her back, turned on her side; seeing which the bystanders cried out almost with one voice, “Altisidora is alive! Altisidora lives!”

17

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Rhadamanthus bade Sancho put away his wrath, as the object they had in view was now attained. When Don Quixote saw Altisidora move, he went on his knees to Sancho saying to him, “Now is the time, son of my bowels, not to call thee my squire, for thee to give thyself some of those lashes thou art bound to lay on for the disenchantment of Dulcinea. Now, I say, is the time when the virtue that is in thee is ripe, and endowed with efficacy to work the good that is looked for from thee.”

18

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To which Sancho made answer, “That’s trick upon trick, I think, and not honey upon pancakes; a nice thing it would be for a whipping to come now, on the top of pinches, smacks, and pin-proddings! You had better take a big stone and tie it round my neck, and pitch me into a well; I should not mind it much, if I’m to be always made the cow of the wedding for the cure of other people’s ailments. Leave me alone; or else by God I’ll fling the whole thing to the dogs, let come what may.”

19

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Altisidora had by this time sat up on the catafalque, and as she did so the clarions sounded, accompanied by the flutes, and the voices of all present exclaiming, “Long life to Altisidora! long life to Altisidora!” The duke and duchess and the kings Minos and Rhadamanthus stood up, and all, together with Don Quixote and Sancho, advanced to receive her and take her down from the catafalque; and she, making as though she were recovering from a swoon, bowed her head to the duke and duchess and to the kings, and looking sideways at Don Quixote, said to him, “God forgive thee, insensible knight, for through thy cruelty I have been, to me it seems, more than a thousand years in the other world; and to thee, the most compassionate upon earth, I render thanks for the life I am now in possession of. From this day forth, friend Sancho, count as thine six smocks of mine which I bestow upon thee, to make as many shirts for thyself, and if they are not all quite whole, at any rate they are all clean.”

20

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Sancho kissed her hands in gratitude, kneeling, and with the mitre in his hand. The duke bade them take it from him, and give him back his cap and doublet and remove the flaming robe. Sancho begged the duke to let them leave him the robe and mitre; as he wanted to take them home for a token and memento of that unexampled adventure. The duchess said they must leave them with him; for he knew already what a great friend of his she was. The duke then gave orders that the court should be cleared, and that all should retire to their chambers, and that Don Quixote and Sancho should be conducted to their old quarters.

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