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堂吉诃德|Don Quixote

Part 2 第53章|Part 2 Chapter 51

属类： 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 塞万提斯] 阅读：[44469]
《堂吉诃德》是一部幽默诙谐、滑稽可笑、充满了奇思妙想的长篇文学巨著。此书主要描写了一个有趣、可敬、可悲、喜欢自欺欺人的没落贵族堂吉诃德，他痴狂地迷恋古代骑士小说，以至于放弃家业，用破甲驽马装扮成古代骑士的样子，再雇佣农民桑乔作侍从，三次出征周游全国，去创建所谓的扶弱锄强的骑士业绩。他们在征险的生涯中闹出了许多笑话，到处碰壁受辱，堂吉诃德多次被打成重伤，有一次还被当成疯子关在笼子里遣送回乡。最后，他因征战不利郁郁寡欢而与世长辞，临终前他那一番貌似悔悟的话语让人匪夷所思又哭笑不得。
《 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 》
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“若想让生活中的事物永远保持永恒不变的状态，那只能是一种妄想。相反，人们应该想到一切都是循环往复的：春去夏来，夏过秋至，秋往冬到，冬逝春临，时间就是如此循环不已的。只有人的生命有其尽头，而且赛过日月穿梭，除非在天国英灵长存，否则永远不得复生。”这是伊斯兰哲学家锡德·哈迈德的话，让人懂得了人生如梦，永存只是一种企盼。人们不必靠信仰指点，只靠自己天生的感应就能领悟到这一点。我们作者的这段话只是想说明桑乔当总督不过是过眼烟云，转瞬即逝。

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这是桑乔当总督的第七天晚上。他在床上躺着，不仅因为面包没饱酒未足，而且因为忙于批文审卷，制定法规法令，所以困意袭来，虽然饥肠辘辘，眼皮还是慢慢地合上了。这时，忽然响起了巨大的钟声和喊声，似乎整个岛屿都要沉陷下去了。桑乔从床上坐起来，仔细倾听着，想辨明究竟发生了什么事，外面竟这样乱哄哄的。可是他不仅没把骚乱的原因搞清楚，反而听到除了喊声和钟声之外，还增加了号角声和鼓声。于是桑乔更加慌乱了，恐惧万分。他赶紧下地。地上潮，他穿上拖鞋，来不及披上外衣，就跑出门外，恰巧看见二十多个人手里拿着火炬和剑跑过来，边跑边大声喊道：

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“拿起武器，赶快拿起武器，总督大人！已经有无数敌人上了咱们的岛，如果您不用您的智慧和勇气拯救我们，我们就完了！”

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桑乔面对这些喊声和狂乱感到惊慌失措，目瞪口呆。这时，有人跑到他身边对他说：

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“大人，如果您不想完蛋，不想让这座岛完蛋，就赶紧拿起武器！”

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“我有什么武器呀，我又能帮你们干什么呢？”桑乔说，“这种事情最好让我的主人唐吉诃德去做，他三下五除二就可以完事大吉。我这个上帝的罪人，对这些事情一窍不通呀。”

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“哎呀，总督大人，”另一个人说，“您怎么这么窝囊呀！我们给您带来了进攻和防御的武器，您赶紧拿起武器。带领我们杀敌吧。您是我们的总督，这是您的份内之事。”

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“那就给我武器吧。”桑乔说。

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于是，有人立刻给他拿来两个大盾牌①，一前一后地扣在他的衬衣上，来不及让他再套一件外衣，就从盾牌的凹处把桑乔的胳膊掏出来，用绳子把盾牌牢牢地捆在桑乔身上，弄得桑乔像根木头似的直直地站在那儿，既不能弯腿，也不能挪步。有人往桑乔手里塞了一根长矛，让他当拐棍撑着，以免跌倒。弄好以后，大家让桑乔在前面带路，给大家鼓劲，说他是北极星、指路灯、启明星，有了他一定会取得最后的成功。

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①一种可以遮挡全身的长盾牌。

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“可是，”桑乔说，“我觉得真别扭，两块盾牌捆在我身上，膝盖动弹不得，我怎么走得了路呢？你们把我抬着或者架着弄到道口去，让我用我的长矛或者我的身体守住道口吧。”

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“行了，总督，”另一个人说，“是恐惧而不是盾牌让您迈不开步子。您快点挪步吧，否则就晚了。敌人越来越多，喊声越来越大，危险也更大了。”

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大家连劝带骂，可怜的总督只好试着挪动步子，结果一下子重重地摔倒在地上，他还以为自己摔成了几块呢。桑乔趴在地上，就像一只缩在龟壳里的乌龟，像半扇夹在木槽中的腌猪肉，或者像一只扣在沙滩上的小船。那些拿桑乔开心的人并没有因为看到他倒在地上而生出一点儿怜悯之心，相反却熄灭了火把，又重新提高了嗓门，不断喊着“拿起武器”，在他身上快速地跑来跑去，而且用剑向他身上的盾牌不断地刺。若是桑乔没有把头缩在两个盾牌之间，他可就遭了大殃了。桑乔蜷缩在两块盾牌之间，大汗淋漓，一心只求上帝保佑他脱险。有的人被桑乔绊倒，有的人摔倒在他身上，还有人竟在他身上站了半天，拿他的身体当瞭望台，一边指挥着队伍一边大声喊道：

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“现在全看我们了，让敌人都往这儿来吧！守住那个缺口！关上那座大门！截断那个楼梯！赶紧上燃烧罐！把松脂放到油锅里去煮！用垫子把那几条通道堵住！”

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那个人把守城时能够用得着的术语和武器弹药都起劲地数了一遍，被压在下面的桑乔浑身疼痛，心里说道：“哎哟，但愿上帝保佑，让这个岛赶紧失守吧，让我赶紧死掉或者赶紧摆脱这场苦难吧！”老天听到了他的请求，桑乔出乎意料地听见人们在喊：

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“胜利了！胜利了！敌人被打败了！噢，总督大人，您赶紧起来，享受胜利的欢乐吧。靠您战无不胜的勇气，我们从敌人那儿得到了不少战利品，您把这些战利品给大家分了吧！”

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“你们把我扶起来。”浑身疼痛的桑乔痛苦地说道。

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大家把他扶了起来，桑乔站好后说道：

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“我可不相信我打死了某个敌人，我也不想去分配从敌人那里夺来的战利品。如果有谁还同我是朋友，就请这位朋友给我一口葡萄酒吧，我快要渴死了，再帮我擦擦汗吧，我浑身都湿透了。”

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大家给桑乔擦了擦汗，给他拿来葡萄酒，又把他身上的盾牌解了下来。桑乔连惊带吓，坐在盾牌上竟昏了过去。于是大家都为恶作剧搞得太过火而发慌了。不过，桑乔马上又苏醒过来，大家这才放了心。桑乔问现在是什么时候，大家说是凌晨。桑乔一声不响地开始穿衣服。大家也都默不作声地看他穿衣服，看他这么早穿上衣服到底要干什么。桑乔穿好了衣服，慢慢地走向马厩。他浑身疼痛，根本走不快。大家都跟在他后面，只见他走到他的驴前，亲热地吻了一下驴的额头，噙着眼泪对驴说道：

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“来吧，我的伙计，我的朋友，与我同苦共难的伙伴，我同你在一起的时候，只想着别忘了给你修补你的鞍具，喂饱你的肚子。对于我来说，那些时光、那些年月都是幸福的。可是自从我离开了你，爬上了野心和狂妄的高塔之后，心中却增加了数不尽的苦恼和不安。”

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桑乔一边说一边给他的驴套上驮鞍，旁边的人都一言不发。套好驮鞍后，桑乔十分伤心地骑了上去，嘴里对管家、文书、餐厅侍者、佩德罗·雷西奥大夫和其他人嘟哝着。他说道：

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“请让开路吧，诸位大人，让我回到往日自由自在的生活里去吧，让我去寻找往日那种生活，使我从现在这种死亡中复生吧。我生来就不是当总督的料，敌人向我们进攻的时候，我却不能带着大家保卫岛屿和城市。我更善于耕田锄地，修剪葡萄枝，压葡萄蔓，而不是颁布命令，也不懂得保卫辖区或王国的事。‘维持现状，再好不过’，我是说每个人生来就注定了干什么。我一把镰刀在手，胜过握着总督的权杖；我宁愿饱饱地喝一顿冷汤，也不愿忍受一个劣等医生的折磨，那样非把我饿死不可；我宁愿夏日躺在圣栎树的树荫下，冬天穿着只有几根毛的羊皮袄，逍遥自在地生活，也不愿床上铺着白亚麻细布，身上穿着紫貂皮大衣当总督。再见吧，诸位大人，请告诉公爵大人，我来去赤条条，不多也不少，我的意思是说，我来当总督的时候身无分文，离开总督职务时也两袖清风，与其他岛屿总督离任时的情况完全相反。请你们靠边点儿，让我过去，我要去上点儿膏药。我觉得肋骨疼得厉害，这全是敌人晚上在我身上踩的。”

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“您不必这样，总督大人。”雷西奥大夫说，“我给您一点治摔伤的汤药，您喝了以后很快就会精力充沛如初。至于吃的，我向您保证一定改正，让您想吃什么就痛痛快快吃个够。”

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“晚矣！”桑乔说，“想让我留下来，那是不可能的事。这种捉弄已经不是一两回了。我向上帝发誓，当总督的事情仅此一回，以后就是再大张旗鼓地请我，也休想叫我当总督了。我们潘萨家族的人都很固执，说不行就是不行，怎么说也不行。让蚂蚁的翅膀留在马厩里吧，就是这副翅膀，把我带到了天空，想让燕子或其他鸟儿把我吃掉。还是让我回到陆地上踏踏实实地走路吧。即使这双脚没有网眼羊皮鞋①，至少我不缺草鞋穿。物以类聚，人以群分，谁也别想跑出自己那个圈儿去。还是让我过去吧，已经晚了。”

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①这种鞋曾一度在贵族中流行。

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管家说道：“总督大人，尽管我们非常惋惜，但我们还是会痛痛快快地放您过去。您机智灵敏，品行端正，我们也愿意放您走。可是大家都知道，每个总督在离任之前都有责任谈谈自己这段时间的工作情况。那么，您就谈谈您当这十天总督的情况，然后您爱到哪儿就到哪儿去吧。”

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“除了公爵大人，谁也不能要求我做什么。”桑乔说，“待我见到公爵大人，我会向他如实禀告的。况且，我走时两袖清风，这就足以说明我这个总督当得多好了。”

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“我向上帝发誓，”雷西奥大夫说，“桑乔说得很对。我觉得咱们现在可以让他走了，公爵大人现在也一定很想见到他。”

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大家都同意让桑乔走，而且愿意送他一段路，再送他一些礼物和路上需要的东西。桑乔说他只需要一点儿喂驴的大麦和他自己吃的半个面包。路并不远，所以没必要多带，也最好别带那么多东西。大家拥抱了桑乔，桑乔含泪拥抱了大家，然后离去。大家对桑乔那番议论和他果断而又明智的决定表示钦佩。

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Day came after the night of the governor’s round; a night which the head-carver passed without sleeping, so were his thoughts of the face and air and beauty of the disguised damsel, while the majordomo spent what was left of it in writing an account to his lord and lady of all Sancho said and did, being as much amazed at his sayings as at his doings, for there was a mixture of shrewdness and simplicity in all his words and deeds. The senor governor got up, and by Doctor Pedro Recio’s directions they made him break his fast on a little conserve and four sups of cold water, which Sancho would have readily exchanged for a piece of bread and a bunch of grapes; but seeing there was no help for it, he submitted with no little sorrow of heart and discomfort of stomach; Pedro Recio having persuaded him that light and delicate diet enlivened the wits, and that was what was most essential for persons placed in command and in responsible situations, where they have to employ not only the bodily powers but those of the mind also.

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By means of this sophistry Sancho was made to endure hunger, and hunger so keen that in his heart he cursed the government, and even him who had given it to him; however, with his hunger and his conserve he undertook to deliver judgments that day, and the first thing that came before him was a question that was submitted to him by a stranger, in the presence of the majordomo and the other attendants, and it was in these words: “senor, a large river separated two districts of one and the same lordship — will your worship please to pay attention, for the case is an important and a rather knotty one? Well then, on this river there was a bridge, and at one end of it a gallows, and a sort of tribunal, where four judges commonly sat to administer the law which the lord of river, bridge and the lordship had enacted, and which was to this effect, ‘If anyone crosses by this bridge from one side to the other he shall declare on oath where he is going to and with what object; and if he swears truly, he shall be allowed to pass, but if falsely, he shall be put to death for it by hanging on the gallows erected there, without any remission.’ Though the law and its severe penalty were known, many persons crossed, but in their declarations it was easy to see at once they were telling the truth, and the judges let them pass free. It happened, however, that one man, when they came to take his declaration, swore and said that by the oath he took he was going to die upon that gallows that stood there, and nothing else. The judges held a consultation over the oath, and they said, ‘If we let this man pass free he has sworn falsely, and by the law he ought to die; but if we hang him, as he swore he was going to die on that gallows, and therefore swore the truth, by the same law he ought to go free.’ It is asked of your worship, senor governor, what are the judges to do with this man? For they are still in doubt and perplexity; and having heard of your worship’s acute and exalted intellect, they have sent me to entreat your worship on their behalf to give your opinion on this very intricate and puzzling case.”

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To this Sancho made answer, “Indeed those gentlemen the judges that send you to me might have spared themselves the trouble, for I have more of the obtuse than the acute in me; but repeat the case over again, so that I may understand it, and then perhaps I may be able to hit the point.”

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The querist repeated again and again what he had said before, and then Sancho said, “It seems to me I can set the matter right in a moment, and in this way; the man swears that he is going to die upon the gallows; but if he dies upon it, he has sworn the truth, and by the law enacted deserves to go free and pass over the bridge; but if they don’t hang him, then he has sworn falsely, and by the same law deserves to be hanged.”

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“It is as the senor governor says,” said the messenger; “and as regards a complete comprehension of the case, there is nothing left to desire or hesitate about.”

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“Well then I say,” said Sancho, “that of this man they should let pass the part that has sworn truly, and hang the part that has lied; and in this way the conditions of the passage will be fully complied with.”

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“But then, senor governor,” replied the querist, “the man will have to be divided into two parts; and if he is divided of course he will die; and so none of the requirements of the law will be carried out, and it is absolutely necessary to comply with it.”

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“Look here, my good sir,” said Sancho; “either I’m a numskull or else there is the same reason for this passenger dying as for his living and passing over the bridge; for if the truth saves him the falsehood equally condemns him; and that being the case it is my opinion you should say to the gentlemen who sent you to me that as the arguments for condemning him and for absolving him are exactly balanced, they should let him pass freely, as it is always more praiseworthy to do good than to do evil; this I would give signed with my name if I knew how to sign; and what I have said in this case is not out of my own head, but one of the many precepts my master Don Quixote gave me the night before I left to become governor of this island, that came into my mind, and it was this, that when there was any doubt about the justice of a case I should lean to mercy; and it is God’s will that I should recollect it now, for it fits this case as if it was made for it.”

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“That is true,” said the majordomo; “and I maintain that Lycurgus himself, who gave laws to the Lacedemonians, could not have pronounced a better decision than the great Panza has given; let the morning’s audience close with this, and I will see that the senor governor has dinner entirely to his liking.”

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“That’s all I ask for — fair play,” said Sancho; “give me my dinner, and then let it rain cases and questions on me, and I’ll despatch them in a twinkling.”

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The majordomo kept his word, for he felt it against his conscience to kill so wise a governor by hunger; particularly as he intended to have done with him that same night, playing off the last joke he was commissioned to practise upon him.

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It came to pass, then, that after he had dined that day, in opposition to the rules and aphorisms of Doctor Tirteafuera, as they were taking away the cloth there came a courier with a letter from Don Quixote for the governor. Sancho ordered the secretary to read it to himself, and if there was nothing in it that demanded secrecy to read it aloud. The secretary did so, and after he had skimmed the contents he said, “It may well be read aloud, for what Senor Don Quixote writes to your worship deserves to be printed or written in letters of gold, and it is as follows.”

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DON Quixote OF LA Mancha’S LETTER TO SANCHO Panza, GoVERNOR OF The ISLAND OF BARATARIA.

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When I was expecting to hear of thy stupidities and blunders, friend Sancho, I have received intelligence of thy displays of good sense, for which I give special thanks to heaven that can raise the poor from the dunghill and of fools to make wise men. They tell me thou dost govern as if thou wert a man, and art a man as if thou wert a beast, so great is the humility wherewith thou dost comport thyself. But I would have thee bear in mind, Sancho, that very often it is fitting and necessary for the authority of office to resist the humility of the heart; for the seemly array of one who is invested with grave duties should be such as they require and not measured by what his own humble tastes may lead him to prefer. Dress well; a stick dressed up does not look like a stick; I do not say thou shouldst wear trinkets or fine raiment, or that being a judge thou shouldst dress like a soldier, but that thou shouldst array thyself in the apparel thy office requires, and that at the same time it be neat and handsome. To win the good-will of the people thou governest there are two things, among others, that thou must do; one is to be civil to all (this, however, I told thee before), and the other to take care that food be abundant, for there is nothing that vexes the heart of the poor more than hunger and high prices. Make not many proclamations; but those thou makest take care that they be good ones, and above all that they be observed and carried out; for proclamations that are not observed are the same as if they did not exist; nay, they encourage the idea that the prince who had the wisdom and authority to make them had not the power to enforce them; and laws that threaten and are not enforced come to he like the log, the king of the frogs, that frightened them at first, but that in time they despised and mounted upon. Be a father to virtue and a stepfather to vice. Be not always strict, nor yet always lenient, but observe a mean between these two extremes, for in that is the aim of wisdom. Visit the gaols, the slaughter-houses, and the market-places; for the presence of the governor is of great importance in such places; it comforts the prisoners who are in hopes of a speedy release, it is the bugbear of the butchers who have then to give just weight, and it is the terror of the market-women for the same reason. Let it not be seen that thou art (even if perchance thou art, which I do not believe) covetous, a follower of women, or a glutton; for when the people and those that have dealings with thee become aware of thy special weakness they will bring their batteries to bear upon thee in that quarter, till they have brought thee down to the depths of perdition. Consider and reconsider, con and con over again the advices and the instructions I gave thee before thy departure hence to thy government, and thou wilt see that in them, if thou dost follow them, thou hast a help at hand that will lighten for thee the troubles and difficulties that beset governors at every step. Write to thy lord and lady and show thyself grateful to them, for ingratitude is the daughter of pride, and one of the greatest sins we know of; and he who is grateful to those who have been good to him shows that he will be so to God also who has bestowed and still bestows so many blessings upon him.

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My lady the duchess sent off a messenger with thy suit and another present to thy wife Teresa Panza; we expect the answer every moment. I have been a little indisposed through a certain scratching I came in for, not very much to the benefit of my nose; but it was nothing; for if there are enchanters who maltreat me, there are also some who defend me. Let me know if the majordomo who is with thee had any share in the Trifaldi performance, as thou didst suspect; and keep me informed of everything that happens thee, as the distance is so short; all the more as I am thinking of giving over very shortly this idle life I am now leading, for I was not born for it. A thing has occurred to me which I am inclined to think will put me out of favour with the duke and duchess; but though I am sorry for it I do not care, for after all I must obey my calling rather than their pleasure, in accordance with the common saying, amicus Plato, sed magis amica veritas. I quote this Latin to thee because I conclude that since thou hast been a governor thou wilt have learned it. Adieu; God keep thee from being an object of pity to anyone.

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Thy friend, DON Quixote OF LA Mancha.

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Sancho listened to the letter with great attention, and it was praised and considered wise by all who heard it; he then rose up from table, and calling his secretary shut himself in with him in his own room, and without putting it off any longer set about answering his master Don Quixote at once; and he bade the secretary write down what he told him without adding or suppressing anything, which he did, and the answer was to the following effect.

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SANCHO Panza’S LETTER TO DON Quixote OF LA Mancha.

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The pressure of business is so great upon me that I have no time to scratch my head or even to cut my nails; and I have them so long — God send a remedy for it. I say this, master of my soul, that you may not be surprised if I have not until now sent you word of how I fare, well or ill, in this government, in which I am suffering more hunger than when we two were wandering through the woods and wastes.

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My lord the duke wrote to me the other day to warn me that certain spies had got into this island to kill me; but up to the present I have not found out any except a certain doctor who receives a salary in this town for killing all the governors that come here; he is called Doctor Pedro Recio, and is from Tirteafuera; so you see what a name he has to make me dread dying under his hands. This doctor says of himself that he does not cure diseases when there are any, but prevents them coming, and the medicines he uses are diet and more diet until he brings one down to bare bones; as if leanness was not worse than fever.

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In short he is killing me with hunger, and I am dying myself of vexation; for when I thought I was coming to this government to get my meat hot and my drink cool, and take my ease between holland sheets on feather beds, I find I have come to do penance as if I was a hermit; and as I don’t do it willingly I suspect that in the end the devil will carry me off.

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So far I have not handled any dues or taken any bribes, and I don’t know what to think of it; for here they tell me that the governors that come to this island, before entering it have plenty of money either given to them or lent to them by the people of the town, and that this is the usual custom not only here but with all who enter upon governments.

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Last night going the rounds I came upon a fair damsel in man’s clothes, and a brother of hers dressed as a woman; my head-carver has fallen in love with the girl, and has in his own mind chosen her for a wife, so he says, and I have chosen youth for a son-in-law; to-day we are going to explain our intentions to the father of the pair, who is one Diego de la Llana, a gentleman and an old Christian as much as you please.

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I have visited the market-places, as your worship advises me, and yesterday I found a stall-keeper selling new hazel nuts and proved her to have mixed a bushel of old empty rotten nuts with a bushel of new; I confiscated the whole for the children of the charity-school, who will know how to distinguish them well enough, and I sentenced her not to come into the market-place for a fortnight; they told me I did bravely. I can tell your worship it is commonly said in this town that there are no people worse than the market-women, for they are all barefaced, unconscionable, and impudent, and I can well believe it from what I have seen of them in other towns.

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I am very glad my lady the duchess has written to my wife Teresa Panza and sent her the present your worship speaks of; and I will strive to show myself grateful when the time comes; kiss her hands for me, and tell her I say she has not thrown it into a sack with a hole in it, as she will see in the end. I should not like your worship to have any difference with my lord and lady; for if you fall out with them it is plain it must do me harm; and as you give me advice to be grateful it will not do for your worship not to be so yourself to those who have shown you such kindness, and by whom you have been treated so hospitably in their castle.

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That about the scratching I don’t understand; but I suppose it must be one of the ill-turns the wicked enchanters are always doing your worship; when we meet I shall know all about it. I wish I could send your worship something; but I don’t know what to send, unless it be some very curious clyster pipes, to work with bladders, that they make in this island; but if the office remains with me I’ll find out something to send, one way or another. If my wife Teresa Panza writes to me, pay the postage and send me the letter, for I have a very great desire to hear how my house and wife and children are going on. And so, may God deliver your worship from evil-minded enchanters, and bring me well and peacefully out of this government, which I doubt, for I expect to take leave of it and my life together, from the way Doctor Pedro Recio treats me.

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Your worship’s servant SANCHO Panza The GoVERNOR.

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The secretary sealed the letter, and immediately dismissed the courier; and those who were carrying on the joke against Sancho putting their heads together arranged how he was to be dismissed from the government. Sancho spent the afternoon in drawing up certain ordinances relating to the good government of what he fancied the island; and he ordained that there were to be no provision hucksters in the State, and that men might import wine into it from any place they pleased, provided they declared the quarter it came from, so that a price might be put upon it according to its quality, reputation, and the estimation it was held in; and he that watered his wine, or changed the name, was to forfeit his life for it. He reduced the prices of all manner of shoes, boots, and stockings, but of shoes in particular, as they seemed to him to run extravagantly high. He established a fixed rate for servants’ wages, which were becoming recklessly exorbitant. He laid extremely heavy penalties upon those who sang lewd or loose songs either by day or night. He decreed that no blind man should sing of any miracle in verse, unless he could produce authentic evidence that it was true, for it was his opinion that most of those the blind men sing are trumped up, to the detriment of the true ones. He established and created an alguacil of the poor, not to harass them, but to examine them and see whether they really were so; for many a sturdy thief or drunkard goes about under cover of a make-believe crippled limb or a sham sore. In a word, he made so many good rules that to this day they are preserved there, and are called The constitutions of the great governor Sancho Panza.

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