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堂吉诃德|Don Quixote

Part 1 第26章|Part 1 Chapter 26

属类： 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 塞万提斯] 阅读：[44405]
《堂吉诃德》是一部幽默诙谐、滑稽可笑、充满了奇思妙想的长篇文学巨著。此书主要描写了一个有趣、可敬、可悲、喜欢自欺欺人的没落贵族堂吉诃德，他痴狂地迷恋古代骑士小说，以至于放弃家业，用破甲驽马装扮成古代骑士的样子，再雇佣农民桑乔作侍从，三次出征周游全国，去创建所谓的扶弱锄强的骑士业绩。他们在征险的生涯中闹出了许多笑话，到处碰壁受辱，堂吉诃德多次被打成重伤，有一次还被当成疯子关在笼子里遣送回乡。最后，他因征战不利郁郁寡欢而与世长辞，临终前他那一番貌似悔悟的话语让人匪夷所思又哭笑不得。
《 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 》
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再说那位上身穿衣下身光、翻了几个筋斗后倒立的猥獕骑士，见桑乔不愿再看他抽疯，已经离去，只好独自爬到一块高岩石顶上，继续思考一个他百思而不得要领的问题，那就是应该学习罗尔丹暴戾的癫狂呢，还是仿效阿马迪斯的凄恻痴迷？哪个对他最好最合适呢？他自言自语道：

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“即使罗尔丹像传说的那样，是位英勇善战的骑士，也没什么了不起。他已经掌握了魔法，谁也杀不死他，除非从他脚尖插进一根大针，而他又总是穿着七层铁底鞋。尽管他对付罗纳尔多·德尔卡皮奥的计策被对方识破，没有起到作用，但最后他还是在龙塞斯瓦列斯山把罗纳尔多·德尔卡皮奥扼死了。

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“且不说罗尔丹的勇敢，先说他的精神不正常吧。他的确精神不正常。他在泉水边发现了一些迹象，并且听一个牧羊人说，安杰丽嘉同那个摩尔小子，即阿格拉曼王的侍童梅多罗，至少睡了两次午觉。他认为这是真的，他的夫人做了对不起他的事，他当然马上就疯了。可是我并没遇上这样的事，怎么能去学着他的样子发疯呢？我敢发誓，托博索的杜尔西内亚这辈子从未见过一个穿着摩尔人衣服的摩尔人。她至今仍守身如玉。如果我对她有什么怀疑，自己变成狂暴的罗尔丹那样的疯子，那显然是对她的侮辱。此外，我还看到高卢的阿马迪斯精神正常，并没有变疯，同样获得了多情的美名。按照故事上说的，他的意中人奥里亚娜鄙视他，让他未经许可不要在她面前露面，于是阿马迪斯隐退到‘卑岩’，与一位隐士为伍。他在那儿哭天号地，求上帝保佑。后来老天有眼，在他最痛苦的时候帮助了他。事实如此，我为什么要费力劳神地赤身裸体？为什么要去伤害大树呢？它们又没有做任何对不起我的事。为什么要搅浑这清清的泉水呢？我渴的时候还得喝呢。

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“没齿不忘的阿马迪斯啊，值得曼查的唐吉诃德竭力学习。过去有句话，现在可以用于此，那就是事业未竟人欲动。我并没有受到托博索的杜尔西内亚的睥睨，我说过，只是与她天各一方。来吧，干起来吧。想想阿马迪斯做过的事情，我该从何学起呢？不过，我知道他做得最多的就是念经，祈求上帝保佑。可是我没有念珠，该怎么办呢？”

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这时候，唐吉诃德想起来该怎么办了。他从衬衣的下摆扯下一大条，系成十一个扣，其中一个特别大，他就拿这个扣当念珠，念了无数次“万福玛利亚”。他又苦于找不到一个隐士，以便向他忏悔，并且从那儿得到安抚。于是他就在这块草地上遛来遛去，在树皮和细沙上写写画画，尽是描述他伤感的诗句，有些还赞颂了杜尔西内亚。可是后来能够完整保存下来，并且能够看得清的只有下面这几句：

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高树参天青草绿，

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灌木丛生遍山地，

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倘若你们不笑我，

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请听我圣洁的怨泣。

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我的痛苦纵有天大，

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但愿不会扰你心，

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为我分忧也悲凄，

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远离托博索的杜尔西内亚呀，

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唐吉诃德在此哭泣。

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最忠实不二的情人

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隐匿在此受淬砺，

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竟不知何为缘起。

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沉湎于悲哀的爱情，

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泪水横流，

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远离托博索的杜尔西内亚呀，

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唐吉诃德在此哭泣。

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四方征险，

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奔走于高崖绝壁，

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诅咒她心肠如岩石，

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壁立千尺路崎岖，

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叫我忍受不幸倍感悲戚。

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爱情并非如柔带，

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却似皮鞭向我抽击，

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远离托博索的杜尔西内亚呀，

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唐吉诃德在此哭泣。

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看到诗中杜尔西内亚的名字前面还加上了“托博索”，人们不禁哑然失笑。他们猜测，唐吉诃德以为提到杜尔西内亚的时候若不加上“托博索”，人们就看不懂他的诗。唐吉诃德承认确实如此。他还写了很多诗，刚才说过，除了这三首外，其他的都字迹不清或残缺不全了。唐吉诃德在此写诗，在此叹息，在此呼唤农牧女神和森林女神，呼唤河流里的女神，呼唤以泪洗面的回声女神，请求她们回答他，安慰他，倾听他的诉说，以此消磨时间。在桑乔赶回来之前，他一直以草充饥。如果桑乔不是三天，而是三个星期才回来，唐吉诃德肯定会饿得判若两人，连他的生母都认不出他了。

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咱们暂且把他这些唉声叹气的诗放在一边，说说正肩负使命的桑乔吧。他走上大道以后，就循着托博索的方向赶路。第二天，他来到了他曾经不幸被扔的那个客店。一看到客店，桑乔就觉得自己仿佛又在空中飞腾，不想进去了。其实这个时候他能够也应该进去，要知道现在正是开饭的时候，而且桑乔也想吃点热东西。这几天他全是吃冷食。在这个愿望驱使下，他走近客店，可是对是否进去仍然犹豫不决。这时从客店里走出两个人，认出了他，其中一个对另外一个说：

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“你看，教士大人，那个骑马的人是不是桑乔·潘萨？咱们那位冒险家的女管家说，他跟主人出去当侍从了。”

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“是的，”教士说，“那匹马就是咱们那位唐吉诃德的马。”

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原来这两个人就是桑乔家乡那次查书焚书的神甫和理发师，因此他们一眼就认出了桑乔。认出桑乔和罗西南多后，他们又急于知道唐吉诃德的下落，于是走了过去。神甫叫着桑乔的名字说：

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“桑乔·潘萨朋友，你的主人在哪儿？”

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桑乔也认出了他们。桑乔决定不向他们泄露唐吉诃德所在的地方和所做的事情，就说他的主人正在某个地方做一件对主人来说十分重要的事情。他发誓，就是挖掉脸上的眼睛也不能把实情说出来。

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“不，不，”理发师说，“桑乔·潘萨，你如果不告诉我们你的主人在哪儿，我们就会想象，其实我们已经想象到了，你把他杀了，或者偷了他的东西，否则你为什么骑着他的马？现在你必须交出马的主人，要不就没完！”

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“你不用吓唬我，我既不杀人，也不偷人东西。谁都是生死有命，或者说听天由命。我的主人正在这山里专心致志地修行呢。”

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然后，桑乔一口气讲了主人现在的状况和所遇到的各种事情，以及捎给托博索的杜尔西内亚的一封信。他还说杜尔西内亚就是科丘埃洛的女儿，唐吉诃德爱她一往情深。神甫和理发师听了桑乔的话十分惊愕。虽然他们听说过唐吉诃德抽疯的事，而且知道他抽的是什么疯，但每次听说他又抽疯时，还是不免感到意外。他们让桑乔把唐吉诃德写给托博索的杜尔西内亚的信拿给他们看看。桑乔说信写在一个笔记本上，主人吩咐有机会就把它抄到纸上去。神甫让把信拿给他，他可以很工整地誊写一遍。桑乔把手伸进怀里去找笔记本，可是没找到。即使他一直找到现在恐怕也不会找到。原来唐吉诃德还拿着那个本子呢，没给桑乔，桑乔也忘了向他要了。

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桑乔没有找到笔记本，脸色骤然大变。他赶紧翻遍了全身，还是没找到。于是他两手去抓自己的胡子，把胡子揪掉了一半，然后又向自己的面颊和鼻子一连打了五六拳，打得自己满脸是血。神甫和理发师见状问桑乔到底是怎么回事，为什么要这个样子。

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“怎么回事？”桑乔说，“转眼之间我就丢了三头驴。每头驴都价值连城。”

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“这是什么意思？”理发师问。

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“笔记本丢了，”桑乔说，“那上面有给杜尔西内亚的信和我主人签字的凭据。主人让他的外甥女从他们家那四五头驴里给我三头。”

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于是桑乔又说了丢驴的事。神甫安慰他，说只要找到他主人，神甫就让唐吉诃德重新立个字据，并且按照惯例写在一张纸上，因为笔记本上的东西不能承认，不管用。桑乔这才放下心来，说既然这样，丢了给杜尔西内亚的信也不要紧，因为他差不多可以把信背下来了，随时随地都可以让人记录到纸上。

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“你说吧，桑乔，”理发师说，“待会儿我们把它写到纸上去。”

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桑乔搔着头皮，开始回忆信的内容。他一会儿右脚着地，一会儿左脚着地，低头看看地，又抬头望望天，最后叼上了手指头。神甫和理发师一直等着他。过了好一会儿他才说：

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“上帝保佑，神甫大人，魔鬼把我记住的信的内容都带走了。不过，开头是这样写的：‘尊鬼的夫人’。”

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“不会是‘尊鬼’，”理发师说，“只能是尊敬或尊贵的夫人。”

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“是这样。”桑乔说，“然后是，如果我没记错的话：‘心受创伤、睡不着觉的人吻您的手，忘恩负义的美人。’关于他的健康和疾病，我忘了是怎么说的。反正就这样一直写下去，到最后是‘至死忠贞的猥獕骑士’。”

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神甫和理发师对桑乔的好记性比较满意，对他赞扬了一番，又让他把信再背两遍，好让他们也背下来，找时间写到纸上去。桑乔又说了三遍，还乱七八糟地胡诌一气。最后他又讲了主人的情况，可是没说自己在客店被人用被单扔的事情，而那个客店他现在也不想进去了。

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桑乔还说，只要他能带回托博索的杜尔西内亚的好消息，唐吉诃德就会着手争取做国王，至少得做个君主，这是两人商量好的。就凭唐吉诃德的才智和他的臂膀的力量，这很容易做到。到了那个时候，就要为他桑乔完婚。到那时候他得是鳏夫，这才有可能把王后的一个侍女嫁给他。侍女是大户人家的后代，有大片的土地。那时候他就不要什么岛屿了，他已经不稀罕了。桑乔说这番话的时候十分自然，还不时地擦擦鼻子。看到他的精神也快不正常了，神甫和理发师又感到惊奇不已。连唐吉诃德带的这个可怜人都成了这样，唐吉诃德疯到什么程度就可想而知了。

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不过，神甫和理发师不想费力让他明白过来。他们觉得桑乔这么想也不会碍什么事，索性就由他去。他们还想听听桑乔做的蠢事，就让桑乔祈求上帝保佑他主人的健康，而且很可能随着时间的推移，他的主人就像他说的那样当上国王，至少当个红衣主教或其他相当的高官呢。桑乔说：

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“大人们，如果命运让我的主人不做国王，而是做红衣主教，我现在想知道，巡回的红衣主教通常常给侍从什么东西。”

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“通常是教士或神甫的职务，”神甫说，“或者是某个圣器室，收入不少，另外还有礼仪酬金，数目跟收入差不多。”

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“那么这个侍从就不能是已婚的，”桑乔说，“至少得帮着做弥撒吧。如果是这样，我就完了。我已经结婚了，而且连字母都不认识几个。万一我的主人心血来潮不愿意做皇帝，却要做红衣主教，就像游侠骑士常常做的那样，我该怎么办呢？”

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“别着急，桑乔朋友，”理发师说，“我们会去请求你的主人，劝他，甚至以良心打动他，让他做国王，而不做红衣主教。他的勇多于谋，所以做国王更合适。”

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“我也这样认为，”桑乔说，“虽然我知道，他做什么都能胜任。我只是想祈求上帝，把他安排在最适合他的地方，也把我安排在最有利可图的地方。”

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“你讲得很有道理，”神甫说，“你会成为一个很好的基督徒。不过现在应该做的，就是让你的主人从他正在做的无谓的苦修中解脱出来。现在已是吃饭的时候，咱们还是先进客店去，一边吃饭一边想办法吧。”

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桑乔让他们两人先进去，自己在外面等着，以后再告诉他们为什么自己不进去，以及最好不进去的原因，可是，请他们给他带出点热食来，再给罗西南多弄些大麦。神甫和理发师进了客店，理发师很快就给他拿出来了一点吃的。然后，神甫和理发师又仔细考虑如何实现他们的计划。神甫想起一个既适合唐吉诃德的口味，又能实现他们意图的做法。神甫对理发师说，他的想法就是自己扮成一个流浪少女，理发师则尽力装成侍从，然后去找唐吉诃德。假扮的贫穷弱女去向唐吉诃德求助。唐吉诃德是位勇敢的游侠骑士，肯定会帮助她。这种帮助就是请他随少女去某个地方，向一个对她作恶的卑鄙骑士报仇。同时，她还请求唐吉诃德，在向那个卑鄙骑士伸张正义之前，不要让她摘掉面罩，也不要让她做什么事情。唐吉诃德肯定会一口答应。这样，就可以把他从那儿弄出来，带回家去，设法医治他的疯病。

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Returning to the proceedings of him of the Rueful Countenance when he found himself alone, the history says that when Don Quixote had completed the performance of the somersaults or capers, naked from the waist down and clothed from the waist up, and saw that Sancho had gone off without waiting to see any more crazy feats, he climbed up to the top of a high rock, and there set himself to consider what he had several times before considered without ever coming to any conclusion on the point, namely whether it would be better and more to his purpose to imitate the outrageous madness of Roland, or the melancholy madness of Amadis; and communing with himself he said:

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“What wonder is it if Roland was so good a knight and so valiant as everyone says he was, when, after all, he was enchanted, and nobody could kill him save by thrusting a corking pin into the sole of his foot, and he always wore shoes with seven iron soles? Though cunning devices did not avail him against Bernardo del Carpio, who knew all about them, and strangled him in his arms at Roncesvalles. But putting the question of his valour aside, let us come to his losing his wits, for certain it is that he did lose them in consequence of the proofs he discovered at the fountain, and the intelligence the shepherd gave him of Angelica having slept more than two siestas with Medoro, a little curly-headed Moor, and page to Agramante. If he was persuaded that this was true, and that his lady had wronged him, it is no wonder that he should have gone mad; but I, how am I to imitate him in his madness, unless I can imitate him in the cause of it? For my Dulcinea, I will venture to swear, never saw a Moor in her life, as he is, in his proper costume, and she is this day as the mother that bore her, and I should plainly be doing her a wrong if, fancying anything else, I were to go mad with the same kind of madness as Roland the Furious. On the other hand, I see that Amadis of Gaul, without losing his senses and without doing anything mad, acquired as a lover as much fame as the most famous; for, according to his history, on finding himself rejected by his lady Oriana, who had ordered him not to appear in her presence until it should be her pleasure, all he did was to retire to the Pena Pobre in company with a hermit, and there he took his fill of weeping until Heaven sent him relief in the midst of his great grief and need. And if this be true, as it is, why should I now take the trouble to strip stark naked, or do mischief to these trees which have done me no harm, or why am I to disturb the clear waters of these brooks which will give me to drink whenever I have a mind? Long live the memory of Amadis and let him be imitated so far as is possible by Don Quixote of La Mancha, of whom it will be said, as was said of the other, that if he did not achieve great things, he died in attempting them; and if I am not repulsed or rejected by my Dulcinea, it is enough for me, as I have said, to be absent from her. And so, now to business; come to my memory ye deeds of Amadis, and show me how I am to begin to imitate you. I know already that what he chiefly did was to pray and commend himself to God; but what am I to do for a rosary, for I have not got one?”

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And then it occurred to him how he might make one, and that was by tearing a great strip off the tail of his shirt which hung down, and making eleven knots on it, one bigger than the rest, and this served him for a rosary all the time he was there, during which he repeated countless ave-marias. But what distressed him greatly was not having another hermit there to confess him and receive consolation from; and so he solaced himself with pacing up and down the little meadow, and writing and carving on the bark of the trees and on the fine sand a multitude of verses all in harmony with his sadness, and some in praise of Dulcinea; but, when he was found there afterwards, the only ones completely legible that could be discovered were those that follow here:

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Ye on the mountain side that grow,

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Ye green things all, trees, shrubs, and bushes, Are ye aweary of the woe That this poor aching bosom crushes?

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If it disturb you, and I owe Some reparation, it may be a Defence for me to let you know Don Quixote’s tears are on the flow, And all for distant Dulcinea Del Toboso.

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The lealest lover time can show,

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Doomed for a lady-love to languish,

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Among these solitudes doth go,

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A prey to every kind of anguish.

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Why Love should like a spiteful foe Thus use him, he hath no idea, But hogsheads full — this doth he know — Don Quixote’s tears are on the flow, And all for distant Dulcinea Del Toboso.

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Adventure-seeking doth he go Up rugged heights, down rocky valleys, But hill or dale, or high or low, Mishap attendeth all his sallies: Love still pursues him to and fro, And plies his cruel scourge — ah me! a Relentless fate, an endless woe; Don Quixote’s tears are on the flow, And all for distant Dulcinea Del Toboso.

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The addition of “Del Toboso” to Dulcinea’s name gave rise to no little laughter among those who found the above lines, for they suspected Don Quixote must have fancied that unless he added “del Toboso” when he introduced the name of Dulcinea the verse would be unintelligible; which was indeed the fact, as he himself afterwards admitted. He wrote many more, but, as has been said, these three verses were all that could be plainly and perfectly deciphered. In this way, and in sighing and calling on the fauns and satyrs of the woods and the nymphs of the streams, and Echo, moist and mournful, to answer, console, and hear him, as well as in looking for herbs to sustain him, he passed his time until Sancho’s return; and had that been delayed three weeks, as it was three days, the Knight of the Rueful countenance would have worn such an altered countenance that the mother that bore him would not have known him: and here it will be well to leave him, wrapped up in sighs and verses, to relate how Sancho Panza fared on his mission.

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As for him, coming out upon the high road, he made for El Toboso, and the next day reached the inn where the mishap of the blanket had befallen him. As soon as he recognised it he felt as if he were once more living through the air, and he could not bring himself to enter it though it was an hour when he might well have done so, for it was dinner-time, and he longed to taste something hot as it had been all cold fare with him for many days past. This craving drove him to draw near to the inn, still undecided whether to go in or not, and as he was hesitating there came out two persons who at once recognised him, and said one to the other:

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“Senor licentiate, is not he on the horse there Sancho Panza who, our adventurer’s housekeeper told us, went off with her master as esquire?”

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“So it is,” said the licentiate, “and that is our friend Don Quixote’s horse;” and if they knew him so well it was because they were the curate and the barber of his own village, the same who had carried out the scrutiny and sentence upon the books; and as soon as they recognised Sancho Panza and Rocinante, being anxious to hear of Don Quixote, they approached, and calling him by his name the curate said, “Friend Sancho Panza, where is your master?”

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Sancho recognised them at once, and determined to keep secret the place and circumstances where and under which he had left his master, so he replied that his master was engaged in a certain quarter on a certain matter of great importance to him which he could not disclose for the eyes in his head.

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“Nay, nay,” said the barber, “if you don’t tell us where he is, Sancho Panza, we will suspect as we suspect already, that you have murdered and robbed him, for here you are mounted on his horse; in fact, you must produce the master of the hack, or else take the consequences.”

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“There is no need of threats with me,” said Sancho, “for I am not a man to rob or murder anybody; let his own fate, or God who made him, kill each one; my master is engaged very much to his taste doing penance in the midst of these mountains; and then, offhand and without stopping, he told them how he had left him, what adventures had befallen him, and how he was carrying a letter to the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, the daughter of Lorenzo Corchuelo, with whom he was over head and ears in love. They were both amazed at what Sancho Panza told them; for though they were aware of Don Quixote’s madness and the nature of it, each time they heard of it they were filled with fresh wonder. They then asked Sancho Panza to show them the letter he was carrying to the lady Dulcinea del Toboso. He said it was written in a note-book, and that his master’s directions were that he should have it copied on paper at the first village he came to. On this the curate said if he showed it to him, he himself would make a fair copy of it. Sancho put his hand into his bosom in search of the note-book but could not find it, nor, if he had been searching until now, could he have found it, for Don Quixote had kept it, and had never given it to him, nor had he himself thought of asking for it. When Sancho discovered he could not find the book his face grew deadly pale, and in great haste he again felt his body all over, and seeing plainly it was not to be found, without more ado he seized his beard with both hands and plucked away half of it, and then, as quick as he could and without stopping, gave himself half a dozen cuffs on the face and nose till they were bathed in blood.

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Seeing this, the curate and the barber asked him what had happened him that he gave himself such rough treatment.

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“What should happen me?” replied Sancho, “but to have lost from one hand to the other, in a moment, three ass-colts, each of them like a castle?”

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“How is that?” said the barber.

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“I have lost the note-book,” said Sancho, “that contained the letter to Dulcinea, and an order signed by my master in which he directed his niece to give me three ass-colts out of four or five he had at home;” and he then told them about the loss of Dapple.

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The curate consoled him, telling him that when his master was found he would get him to renew the order, and make a fresh draft on paper, as was usual and customary; for those made in notebooks were never accepted or honoured.

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Sancho comforted himself with this, and said if that were so the loss of Dulcinea’s letter did not trouble him much, for he had it almost by heart, and it could be taken down from him wherever and whenever they liked.

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“Repeat it then, Sancho,” said the barber, “and we will write it down afterwards.”

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Sancho Panza stopped to scratch his head to bring back the letter to his memory, and balanced himself now on one foot, now the other, one moment staring at the ground, the next at the sky, and after having half gnawed off the end of a finger and kept them in suspense waiting for him to begin, he said, after a long pause, “By God, senor licentiate, devil a thing can I recollect of the letter; but it said at the beginning, ‘Exalted and scrubbing Lady.’”

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“It cannot have said ‘scrubbing,’” said the barber, “but ‘superhuman’ or ‘sovereign.’”

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“That is it,” said Sancho; “then, as well as I remember, it went on, ‘The wounded, and wanting of sleep, and the pierced, kisses your worship’s hands, ungrateful and very unrecognised fair one; and it said something or other about health and sickness that he was sending her; and from that it went tailing off until it ended with ‘Yours till death, the Knight of the Rueful Countenance.”

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It gave them no little amusement, both of them, to see what a good memory Sancho had, and they complimented him greatly upon it, and begged him to repeat the letter a couple of times more, so that they too might get it by heart to write it out by-and-by. Sancho repeated it three times, and as he did, uttered three thousand more absurdities; then he told them more about his master but he never said a word about the blanketing that had befallen himself in that inn, into which he refused to enter. He told them, moreover, how his lord, if he brought him a favourable answer from the lady Dulcinea del Toboso, was to put himself in the way of endeavouring to become an emperor, or at least a monarch; for it had been so settled between them, and with his personal worth and the might of his arm it was an easy matter to come to be one: and how on becoming one his lord was to make a marriage for him (for he would be a widower by that time, as a matter of course) and was to give him as a wife one of the damsels of the empress, the heiress of some rich and grand state on the mainland, having nothing to do with islands of any sort, for he did not care for them now. All this Sancho delivered with so much composure — wiping his nose from time to time — and with so little common-sense that his two hearers were again filled with wonder at the force of Don Quixote’s madness that could run away with this poor man’s reason. They did not care to take the trouble of disabusing him of his error, as they considered that since it did not in any way hurt his conscience it would be better to leave him in it, and they would have all the more amusement in listening to his simplicities; and so they bade him pray to God for his lord’s health, as it was a very likely and a very feasible thing for him in course of time to come to be an emperor, as he said, or at least an archbishop or some other dignitary of equal rank.

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To which Sancho made answer, “If fortune, sirs, should bring things about in such a way that my master should have a mind, instead of being an emperor, to be an archbishop, I should like to know what archbishops-errant commonly give their squires?”

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“They commonly give them,” said the curate, some simple benefice or cure, or some place as sacristan which brings them a good fixed income, not counting the altar fees, which may be reckoned at as much more.”

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“But for that,” said Sancho, “the squire must be unmarried, and must know, at any rate, how to help at mass, and if that be so, woe is me, for I am married already and I don’t know the first letter of the A B C. What will become of me if my master takes a fancy to be an archbishop and not an emperor, as is usual and customary with knights-errant?”

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“Be not uneasy, friend Sancho,” said the barber, “for we will entreat your master, and advise him, even urging it upon him as a case of conscience, to become an emperor and not an archbishop, because it will be easier for him as he is more valiant than lettered.”

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“So I have thought,” said Sancho; “though I can tell you he is fit for anything: what I mean to do for my part is to pray to our Lord to place him where it may be best for him, and where he may be able to bestow most favours upon me.”

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“You speak like a man of sense,” said the curate, “and you will be acting like a good Christian; but what must now be done is to take steps to coax your master out of that useless penance you say he is performing; and we had best turn into this inn to consider what plan to adopt, and also to dine, for it is now time.”

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Sancho said they might go in, but that he would wait there outside, and that he would tell them afterwards the reason why he was unwilling, and why it did not suit him to enter it; but be begged them to bring him out something to eat, and to let it be hot, and also to bring barley for Rocinante. They left him and went in, and presently the barber brought him out something to eat. By-and-by, after they had between them carefully thought over what they should do to carry out their object, the curate hit upon an idea very well adapted to humour Don Quixote, and effect their purpose; and his notion, which he explained to the barber, was that he himself should assume the disguise of a wandering damsel, while the other should try as best he could to pass for a squire, and that they should thus proceed to where Don Quixote was, and he, pretending to be an aggrieved and distressed damsel, should ask a favour of him, which as a valiant knight-errant he could not refuse to grant; and the favour he meant to ask him was that he should accompany her whither she would conduct him, in order to redress a wrong which a wicked knight had done her, while at the same time she should entreat him not to require her to remove her mask, nor ask her any question touching her circumstances until he had righted her with the wicked knight. And he had no doubt that Don Quixote would comply with any request made in these terms, and that in this way they might remove him and take him to his own village, where they would endeavour to find out if his extraordinary madness admitted of any kind of remedy.

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