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堂吉诃德|Don Quixote

Part 1 第18章|Part 1 Chapter 18

属类： 双语小说 【分类】世界名著 -[作者: 塞万提斯] 阅读：[44393]
《堂吉诃德》是一部幽默诙谐、滑稽可笑、充满了奇思妙想的长篇文学巨著。此书主要描写了一个有趣、可敬、可悲、喜欢自欺欺人的没落贵族堂吉诃德，他痴狂地迷恋古代骑士小说，以至于放弃家业，用破甲驽马装扮成古代骑士的样子，再雇佣农民桑乔作侍从，三次出征周游全国，去创建所谓的扶弱锄强的骑士业绩。他们在征险的生涯中闹出了许多笑话，到处碰壁受辱，堂吉诃德多次被打成重伤，有一次还被当成疯子关在笼子里遣送回乡。最后，他因征战不利郁郁寡欢而与世长辞，临终前他那一番貌似悔悟的话语让人匪夷所思又哭笑不得。
《 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 字+字- 行+行- 页+页- 》
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桑乔追上唐吉诃德时已经疲惫不堪，连催驴快跑的力气都没了。唐吉诃德看见他这个样子，就对他说：

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“现在我才相信，好桑乔，那个城堡或客店肯定是中了邪气。那些人如此恶毒地拿你开心，不是鬼怪或另一个世界的人又是什么呢？我敢肯定这一点，因为刚才我从墙头上看他们对你恶作剧的时候，想上墙头上不去，想下罗西南多又下不来，肯定是他们对我施了魔法。我以自己的身份发誓，如果我当时能够爬上墙头或者下马，肯定会为你报仇，让那些歹徒永远记住他们开的这个玩笑，尽管这样会违反骑士规则。

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“我跟你说过多次，骑士规则不允许骑士对不是骑士的人动手，除非是在迫不得已的紧急情况下为了自卫。”

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“如果可能的话，我自己也会报仇，不管我是否已经被封为骑士，可是我办不到啊。不过，我觉得拿我开心的那些人并非像您所说的那样是什么鬼怪或魔法师，而是和我们一样有血有肉的人。他们扔我的时候，我听到他们每个人都有自己的名字。有个人叫佩德罗·马丁内斯，另外一个人叫特诺里奥·埃尔南德斯。我听见店主叫左撇子胡安·帕洛梅克。所以，大人，您上不了墙又下不了马并不是魔法造成的。我把这些都挑明了，是想说，咱们到处征险，结果给自己带来许多不幸，弄得自己简直无所适从。我觉得最好咱们掉头回老家去。现在正是收获季节，咱们去忙自己的活计，别像俗话说的‘东奔西跑，越跑越糟’啦。”

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“你对骑士的事所知甚少，”唐吉诃德说，“你什么也别说，别着急，总会有一天，你会亲眼看到干这行是多么光荣的事情。否则，你告诉我，世界上还有什么比这更令人高兴呢？还有什么可以与赢得一场战斗、打败敌人的喜悦相比呢？没有，肯定没有。”

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“也许是这样，”桑乔说，“尽管我并不懂。我只知道自从咱们当了游侠骑士以后，或者说您成了游侠骑士以后（我没有理由把自己也算在这个光荣的行列里），要是不算同比斯开人那一仗，咱们可以说从未打胜过一场战斗，而且就是在同比斯开人的那场战斗里，您还丢了半只耳朵，半个头盔。后来，除了棍子还是棍子，除了拳头还是拳头。我还额外被人扔了一顿。那些人都会魔法，我无法向他们报仇，到哪儿去体会您说的那种战胜敌人的喜悦呢？”

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“这正是我的伤心之处，你大概也为此难过，桑乔。”唐吉诃德说，“不过，以后我要设法弄到一把剑。那把剑的特别之处就在于谁佩上它，任何魔法都不会对他起作用。而且，我也许还会有幸得到阿马迪斯的那把剑呢，当时他叫火剑骑士，而那把剑是世界上的骑士所拥有的最佳宝剑之一。除了我刚才说的那种作用外，它还像把利刀，无论多么坚硬的盔甲都不在话下。”

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“我真是挺走运的，”桑乔说，“不过就算事实如此，您也能找到那样的剑，它恐怕也只能为受封的骑士所用，就像那种圣水。而侍从呢，只能干认倒霉。”

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“别害怕，桑乔，”唐吉诃德说，“老天会照顾你的。”

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两人正边走边说，唐吉诃德忽然看见前面的路上一片尘土铺天盖地般飞扬，便转过身来对桑乔说：

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“噢，桑乔，命运给我安排的好日子到了。我是说，我要在这一天像以往一样显示我的力量，而且还要做出一番将要青史留名的事业来。你看见那卷起的滚滚尘土了吗，桑乔？那是一支由无数人组成的密集的军队正向这里挺进。”

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“如此说来，应该是两支军队呢，”桑乔说，“这些人对面也同样是尘土飞扬。”

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唐吉诃德再一看，果然如此，不禁喜出望外。他想，这一定是两支交战的军队来到这空矿的平原上交锋。他的头脑每时每刻想的都是骑士小说里讲的那些战斗，魔法、奇事、谵语、爱情、决斗之类的怪念头，他说的、想的或做的也都是这类事情。其实，他看到的那两股飞扬的尘土是两大群迎面而至的羊。由于尘土弥漫，只有羊群到了眼前才能看清楚。唐吉诃德一口咬定那是两支军队，桑乔也就相信了，对他说：

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“大人，咱们该怎么办呢？”

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“怎么办？”唐吉诃德说，“扶弱济贫啊！你应该知道，桑乔，迎面而来的是由特拉波瓦纳①大岛的阿利凡法龙大帝统率的队伍，而在我背后的是他的对手，加拉曼塔人的捋袖国王彭塔波林，他作战时总是露着右臂。”

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①特拉波瓦纳是锡兰的旧名，即现在的斯里兰卡。

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“那么，这两位大人为什么结下如此深仇呢？”桑乔问。

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“他们结仇是因为这个阿利凡法龙是性情暴躁的异教徒，他爱上了彭塔波林的女儿，一位绰约多姿的夫人，而她是基督徒。她的父亲不愿意把女儿嫁给一位异教的国王，除非国王能放弃他的虚妄先知穆罕默德，皈依基督教。”

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“我以我的胡子发誓，”桑乔说，“彭塔波林做得很对！我应该尽力帮助他。”

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“你本该如此，”唐吉诃德说，“参加这类战斗不一定都是受封的骑士。”

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“我明白，”桑乔说，“不过，咱们把这头驴寄放在哪儿呢？打完仗后还得找到它。总不能骑驴去打仗呀，我觉得至少到目前为止还没有这样做的。”

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“是这样，”唐吉诃德说，“你能做的就是让它听天由命，别管它是否会丢了。咱们打胜这场仗后，不知可以得到多少马匹哩，说不定还要把罗西南多换掉呢。不过你听好，也看好，我要向你介绍这两支大军的主要骑士了。咱们撤到那个小山包上去，两支大军在那儿会暴露无遗，你可以看得更清楚。”

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他们来到小山包上。要是飞尘没有挡住他们的视线，他们完全可以看清，唐吉诃德说的两支军队其实是两群羊。可是唐吉诃德却想象着看到了他其实并没有看到、也并不存在的东西。他高声说道：

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“那个披挂着深黄色甲胄，盾牌上有一只跪伏在少女脚下的戴王冠狮子的骑士，就是普恩特·德普拉塔的领主，英勇的劳拉卡尔科。另一位身着金花甲胄，蓝色盾牌上有三只银环的骑士，是基罗西亚伟大的公爵，威武的米科科莱博。他右侧的一位巨人是博利切从不怯阵的布兰达巴尔瓦兰，三个阿拉伯属地的领主。你看他身裹蛇皮，以一扇大门当盾牌。据说那是参孙①以死相拼时推倒的那座大殿的门呢。

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①参孙是《圣经》故事中古代犹太人的领袖之一，后被喻为大力士。他被非利士人牵至大殿加以戏弄时，奋力摇动柱子，致使大殿倒塌，和非利士人一同被压死。

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“你再掉过头来向这边看，你会看到统率这支军队的是常胜将军蒂莫内尔·德卡卡霍纳，新比斯开的王子。他的甲胄上蓝、绿、白、黄四色相间，棕黄色的盾牌上有只金猫，还写着一个‘缪’字，据说是他美丽绝伦的情人、阿尔加维的公爵阿尔费尼肯的女儿缪利纳名字的第一个字。另外一位骑着膘马，甲胄雪白，持没有任何标记的白盾的人是位骑士新秀，法国人，名叫皮尔·帕潘，是乌特里克的男爵。还有一位正用他的包铁脚后跟踢那匹斑色快马的肚子，他的甲胄上是对置的蓝银钟图案，那就是内比亚强悍的公爵、博斯克的埃斯帕塔菲拉尔多。他的盾牌上的图案是石刁柏，上面用卡斯蒂利亚语写着：‘为我天行道’。”

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唐吉诃德就这样列数了在他的想象中两支军队的许多骑士的名字，并且给每个人都即兴配上了甲胄、颜色、图案以及称号。他无中生有地想象着，接着说：

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“前面这支军队是由不同民族的人组成的，这里有的人曾喝过著名的汉托河的甜水；有的是蒙托萨岛人，去过马西洛岛；有的人曾在阿拉伯乐土淘金沙；有的人到过清澈的特莫东特河边享受那著名而又凉爽的河滩；有的人曾通过不同的路线为帕克托勒斯的金色浅滩引流；此外，还有言而无信的努米底亚人，以擅长弓箭而闻名的波斯人，边打边跑的帕提亚人和米堤亚人，游牧的阿拉伯人，像白人一样残忍的西徐亚人，嘴上穿物的埃塞俄比亚人，以及许多其他民族的人，他们的名字我叫不出来，可他们的面孔我很熟悉。在另一方的军队里，有的人曾饮用养育了无数橄榄树的贝蒂斯河的晶莹河水；有的人曾用塔霍河甘美的金色琼浆刮脸；有的人享用过神圣的赫尼尔河的丰美汁液；有的人涉足过塔尔特苏斯田野肥沃的牧场；也有的人在赫雷斯天堂般的平原上得意过；有头戴金黄麦穗编的冠儿、生活富裕的曼查人；有身着铁甲、风俗古老的哥特遗民；有的人曾在以徐缓闻名的皮苏埃卡河里洗过澡；有的人曾在以暗流著称的瓜迪亚纳河边辽阔的牧场上喂过牲口；还有的人曾被皮里内奥森林地区的寒冷和亚平宁高山的白雪冻得瑟瑟发抖。一句话，欧洲所有的民族在那里都有。”

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上帝保佑，他竟列数了那么多的地名和民族，而且如此顺溜地一一道出了每个地方和民族的特性，说得神乎其神，其实全是从那些满纸荒唐的书里学来的！桑乔怔怔地听着，一句话也不说，不时还回头看看有没有主人说的那些骑士和巨人，结果一个也没有发现，便说：

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“大人，简直活见鬼，您说的那些巨人和骑士怎么这里都没有呢？至少我还没有看见。也许这些人都像昨晚的鬼怪一样，全是魔幻吧。”

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“你怎么能这么讲！”唐吉诃德说，“难道你没有听到战马嘶鸣，号角震天，战鼓齐鸣吗？”

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“我只听到了羊群的咩咩叫声。”桑乔说。

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果然如此，那两群羊这时已经走近了。

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“恐惧使你听而不闻，视而不见，桑乔。”唐吉诃德说，“恐惧产生的效果之一就是扰乱人的感官，混淆真相。既然你如此胆小，就站到一边吧，让我一个人去。我一个人就足以让我帮助的那方取胜。”

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唐吉诃德说完用马刺踢了一下罗西南多，托着长矛像闪电一般地冲下山去。桑乔见状高声喊道：

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“回来吧，唐吉诃德大人！我向上帝发誓，您要进攻的只是一些羊！回来吧，我倒霉的父亲怎么养了我！您发什么疯啊！您看，这里没有巨人和骑士，没有任何人和甲胄，没有杂色或一色的盾牌，没有蓝帷，没有魔鬼。您在做什么？我简直是造孽呀！”

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唐吉诃德并没有因此回头，反而不断地高声喊道：

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“喂，骑士们，投靠在英勇的捋袖帝王彭塔波林大旗下的人，都跟我来！你们会看到，我向你们的敌人特拉波瓦纳的阿利凡法龙报仇是多么容易。”

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唐吉诃德说完便冲进羊群，开始刺杀羊。他杀得很英勇，似乎真是在诛戮他的不共戴天的敌人。跟随羊群的牧羊人和牧主高声叫喊，让他别杀羊了，看到他们的话没起作用，就解下弹弓，向唐吉诃德弹射石头。拳头大的石头从唐吉诃德的耳边飞过，他全然不理会，反而东奔西跑，不停地说道：“你在哪里，不可一世的阿利凡法龙？过来！我是个骑士，想同你一对一较量，试试你的力量，要你的命，惩罚你对英勇的彭塔波林·加拉曼塔所犯下的罪恶。”

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这时飞来一块卵石，正打在他的胸肋处，把两条肋骨打得凹了进去。唐吉诃德看到自己被打成这样，估计自己不死也得重伤。他想起了他的圣水，就掏出瓶子，放在嘴边开始喝。可是不等他喝到他认为够量的时候，又一块石头飞来，不偏不倚正打在他的手和瓶子上。瓶子被打碎了，还把他嘴里的牙也打下三四颗来，两个手指也被击伤了。这两块石头打得都很重，唐吉诃德不由自主地从马上掉了下来。牧羊人来到他跟前，以为他已经死了，赶紧收拢好羊群，把至少七只死羊扛在肩上，匆匆离去了。

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桑乔一直站在山坡上，看着他的主人抽疯。他一边揪着自己的胡子，一边诅咒命运让他认识了这位唐吉诃德。看到主人摔到地上，而且牧羊人已经走了，他才从山坡上下来，来到唐吉诃德身边，看到唐吉诃德虽然还有知觉，却已惨不忍睹，就对他说：

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“我说过，您进攻的不是军队，是羊群。难道我没有说过吗，唐吉诃德大人？”

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“那个会魔法的坏蛋可以把我的敌人变来变去。你知道，桑乔，那些家伙要把咱们面前的东西变成他们需要的样子很容易。刚才害我的那个恶棍估计我会打胜，很嫉妒，就把敌军变成了羊群。否则，桑乔，我以我的生命担保，你去做一件事，就会恍然大悟，看到我说的都是真的。你骑上你的驴，悄悄跟着他们，会看到他们走出不远就变回原来的样子，不再是羊，而是地地道道的人，就像我刚才说的。不过你现在别走，我需要你的帮助。你过来看看，我缺了多少牙，我觉得嘴里好像连一颗牙也没有了。”

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桑乔凑过来，眼睛都快瞪到唐吉诃德的嘴里去了。就在这时，唐吉诃德刚才喝的圣水发作了。桑乔正向他嘴里张望，所有的圣水脱口而出，比枪弹还猛，全部喷到了这个热心肠侍从的脸上。

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“圣母玛利亚！”桑乔说，“这是怎么回事呀？肯定是这个罪人受了致命的伤，所以才吐了血。”

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桑乔顿了一下，看看呕吐物的颜色、味道和气味，原来不是血，而是刚才唐吉诃德喝的圣水，不禁一阵恶心，胃里的东西全翻出来，又吐到了主人身上，弄得两个人都湿漉漉的。

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桑乔走到驴旁边，想从褡裢里找出点东西擦擦自己，再把主人的伤包扎一下，可是没找到褡裢。他简直要气疯了，又开始诅咒起来，有心离开主人回老家去，哪怕他因此得不到工钱，也失去了当小岛总督的希望。

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唐吉诃德这时站了起来。他用左手捂着嘴，以免嘴里的牙全掉出来，又用右手抓着罗西南多的缰绳。罗西南多既忠实又性情好，始终伴随着主人。唐吉诃德走到桑乔身边，看见他正趴在驴背上，两手托腮，一副沉思的样子。见他这般模样，唐吉诃德也满面愁容地对他说：

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“你知道，桑乔，‘不做超人事，难做人上人’。咱们遭受了这些横祸，说明咱们很快就会平安无事，时来运转啦。不论好事还是坏事都不可能持久。咱们已经倒霉很长时间了，好运也该近在眼前了。所以，你不要为我遭受的这些不幸而沮丧，反正也没牵连你。”

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“怎么没牵连？”桑乔说，“难道那些人昨天扔的不是我父亲的儿子吗？丢失的那个褡裢和里面的宝贝东西难道是别人的吗？”

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“你的褡裢丢了，桑乔？”唐吉诃德问。

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“丢了。”桑乔答道。

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“那么，咱们今天就没吃的了。”唐吉诃德说。

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“您说过，像您这样背运的游侠骑士常以草充饥，”桑乔说，“如果这片草地上没有您认识的那些野草，那么咱们的确得挨饿了。”

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“不过，”唐吉诃德说，“我现在宁愿吃一片白面包，或一块黑面包，再加上两个大西洋鲱鱼的鱼头，而不愿吃迪奥斯科里斯①描述过的所有草，即使配上拉古纳②医生的图解也不行。这样吧，好桑乔，你骑上驴，跟我走。上帝供养万物，决不会亏待咱们，更何况你跟随我多时呢。蚊子不会没有空气，昆虫不会没有泥土，蝌蚪也不会没有水。上帝很仁慈，他让太阳普照好人和坏人，让雨水同沐正义者和非正义者。”

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①迪奥斯科里斯是古希腊名医、药理学家。他的著作《药物论》为现代植物学提供了最经典的原始材料。

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②拉古纳是16世纪的西班牙名医，曾将《药物论》译成西班牙文，并配上图解。

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“要说您是游侠骑士，倒不如说您更像个说教的道士。”桑乔说。

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“游侠骑士都无所不知，而且也应该无所不知，桑乔。”唐吉诃德说，“在前几个世纪里，还有游侠骑士能在田野里布道或讲学，仿佛他是从巴黎大学毕业的，真可谓‘矛不秃笔，笔不钝矛’。”

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“那么好吧，但愿您说得对，”桑乔说，“咱们现在就走，找个过夜的地方，但愿上帝让那个地方没有被单，没有用被单扔人的家伙，没有鬼怪，没有摩尔人魔法师。如果有，我再也不干这一行了。”

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“你去向上帝说吧，孩子。”唐吉诃德说，“你带路，随便到哪儿去，这回住什么地方任你挑。你先把手伸过来，用手指摸摸我的上腭右侧缺了几颗牙。我觉得那儿挺疼的。”

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桑乔把手指伸了进去，边摸边问：

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“您这个地方原来有多少牙？”

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“四颗，”唐吉诃德说，“除了智齿，都是完好的。”

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“您再想想。”桑乔说。

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“四颗，要不就是五颗。”唐吉诃德说，“反正我这辈子既没有拔过牙，也没有因为龋齿或风湿病掉过牙。”

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“可是您这下腭最多只有两颗半牙，”桑乔说，“而上腭呢，连半颗牙都没有，平得像手掌。”

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“我真不幸，”唐吉诃德听了桑乔对他说的这个伤心的消息后说道，“我倒宁愿被砍掉一只胳膊，只要不是拿剑的那只胳膊就行。我告诉你，桑乔，没有牙齿的嘴就好比没有石磙的磨，因此一只牙有时比一颗钻石还贵重。不过，既然咱们从事了骑士这一行，什么痛苦就都得忍受。上驴吧，朋友，你带路，随便走，我跟着你。”

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桑乔骑上驴，朝着他认为可能找到落脚处的方向走去，但始终没有离开大路。他们走得很慢，唐吉诃德嘴里的疼痛弄得他烦躁不安，总是走不快。桑乔为了让唐吉诃德分散精力，放松一下，就同他讲了一件事。详情请见下章。

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Sancho reached his master so limp and faint that he could not urge on his beast. When Don Quixote saw the state he was in he said, “I have now come to the conclusion, good Sancho, that this castle or inn is beyond a doubt enchanted, because those who have so atrociously diverted themselves with thee, what can they be but phantoms or beings of another world? and I hold this confirmed by having noticed that when I was by the wall of the yard witnessing the acts of thy sad tragedy, it was out of my power to mount upon it, nor could I even dismount from Rocinante, because they no doubt had me enchanted; for I swear to thee by the faith of what I am that if I had been able to climb up or dismount, I would have avenged thee in such a way that those braggart thieves would have remembered their freak for ever, even though in so doing I knew that I contravened the laws of chivalry, which, as I have often told thee, do not permit a knight to lay hands on him who is not one, save in case of urgent and great necessity in defence of his own life and person.”

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“I would have avenged myself too if I could,” said Sancho, “whether I had been dubbed knight or not, but I could not; though for my part I am persuaded those who amused themselves with me were not phantoms or enchanted men, as your worship says, but men of flesh and bone like ourselves; and they all had their names, for I heard them name them when they were tossing me, and one was called Pedro Martinez, and another Tenorio Hernandez, and the innkeeper, I heard, was called Juan Palomeque the Left-handed; so that, senor, your not being able to leap over the wall of the yard or dismount from your horse came of something else besides enchantments; and what I make out clearly from all this is, that these adventures we go seeking will in the end lead us into such misadventures that we shall not know which is our right foot; and that the best and wisest thing, according to my small wits, would be for us to return home, now that it is harvest-time, and attend to our business, and give over wandering from Zeca to Mecca and from pail to bucket, as the saying is.”

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“How little thou knowest about chivalry, Sancho,” replied Don Quixote; “hold thy peace and have patience; the day will come when thou shalt see with thine own eyes what an honourable thing it is to wander in the pursuit of this calling; nay, tell me, what greater pleasure can there be in the world, or what delight can equal that of winning a battle, and triumphing over one’s enemy? None, beyond all doubt.”

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“Very likely,” answered Sancho, “though I do not know it; all I know is that since we have been knights-errant, or since your worship has been one (for I have no right to reckon myself one of so honourable a number) we have never won any battle except the one with the Biscayan, and even out of that your worship car-ne with half an ear and half a helmet the less; and from that till now it has been all cudgellings and more cudgellings, cuffs and more cuffs, I getting the blanketing over and above, and falling in with enchanted persons on whom I cannot avenge myself so as to know what the delight, as your worship calls it, of conquering an enemy is like.”

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“That is what vexes me, and what ought to vex thee, Sancho,” replied Don Quixote; “but henceforward I will endeavour to have at hand some sword made by such craft that no kind of enchantments can take effect upon him who carries it, and it is even possible that fortune may procure for me that which belonged to Amadis when he was called ‘The Knight of the Burning Sword,’ which was one of the best swords that ever knight in the world possessed, for, besides having the said virtue, it cut like a razor, and there was no armour, however strong and enchanted it might be, that could resist it.”

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“Such is my luck,” said Sancho, “that even if that happened and your worship found some such sword, it would, like the balsam, turn out serviceable and good for dubbed knights only, and as for the squires, they might sup sorrow.”

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“Fear not that, Sancho,” said Don Quixote: “Heaven will deal better by thee.”

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Thus talking, Don Quixote and his squire were going along, when, on the road they were following, Don Quixote perceived approaching them a large and thick cloud of dust, on seeing which he turned to Sancho and said:

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“This is the day, Sancho, on which will be seen the boon my fortune is reserving for me; this, I say, is the day on which as much as on any other shall be displayed the might of my arm, and on which I shall do deeds that shall remain written in the book of fame for all ages to come. Seest thou that cloud of dust which rises yonder? Well, then, all that is churned up by a vast army composed of various and countless nations that comes marching there.”

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“According to that there must be two,” said Sancho, “for on this opposite side also there rises just such another cloud of dust.”

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Don Quixote turned to look and found that it was true, and rejoicing exceedingly, he concluded that they were two armies about to engage and encounter in the midst of that broad plain; for at all times and seasons his fancy was full of the battles, enchantments, adventures, crazy feats, loves, and defiances that are recorded in the books of chivalry, and everything he said, thought, or did had reference to such things. Now the cloud of dust he had seen was raised by two great droves of sheep coming along the same road in opposite directions, which, because of the dust, did not become visible until they drew near, but Don Quixote asserted so positively that they were armies that Sancho was led to believe it and say, “Well, and what are we to do, senor?”

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“What?” said Don Quixote: “give aid and assistance to the weak and those who need it; and thou must know, Sancho, that this which comes opposite to us is conducted and led by the mighty emperor Alifanfaron, lord of the great isle of Trapobana; this other that marches behind me is that of his enemy the king of the Garamantas, Pentapolin of the Bare Arm, for he always goes into battle with his right arm bare.”

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“But why are these two lords such enemies?”

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“They are at enmity,” replied Don Quixote, “because this Alifanfaron is a furious pagan and is in love with the daughter of Pentapolin, who is a very beautiful and moreover gracious lady, and a Christian, and her father is unwilling to bestow her upon the pagan king unless he first abandons the religion of his false prophet Mahomet, and adopts his own.”

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“By my beard,” said Sancho, “but Pentapolin does quite right, and I will help him as much as I can.”

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“In that thou wilt do what is thy duty, Sancho,” said Don Quixote; “for to engage in battles of this sort it is not requisite to be a dubbed knight.”

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“That I can well understand,” answered Sancho; “but where shall we put this ass where we may be sure to find him after the fray is over? for I believe it has not been the custom so far to go into battle on a beast of this kind.”

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“That is true,” said Don Quixote, “and what you had best do with him is to leave him to take his chance whether he be lost or not, for the horses we shall have when we come out victors will be so many that even Rocinante will run a risk of being changed for another. But attend to me and observe, for I wish to give thee some account of the chief knights who accompany these two armies; and that thou mayest the better see and mark, let us withdraw to that hillock which rises yonder, whence both armies may be seen.”

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They did so, and placed themselves on a rising ground from which the two droves that Don Quixote made armies of might have been plainly seen if the clouds of dust they raised had not obscured them and blinded the sight; nevertheless, seeing in his imagination what he did not see and what did not exist, he began thus in a loud voice:

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“That knight whom thou seest yonder in yellow armour, who bears upon his shield a lion crowned crouching at the feet of a damsel, is the valiant Laurcalco, lord of the Silver Bridge; that one in armour with flowers of gold, who bears on his shield three crowns argent on an azure field, is the dreaded Micocolembo, grand duke of Quirocia; that other of gigantic frame, on his right hand, is the ever dauntless Brandabarbaran de Boliche, lord of the three Arabias, who for armour wears that serpent skin, and has for shield a gate which, according to tradition, is one of those of the temple that Samson brought to the ground when by his death he revenged himself upon his enemies. But turn thine eyes to the other side, and thou shalt see in front and in the van of this other army the ever victorious and never vanquished Timonel of Carcajona, prince of New Biscay, who comes in armour with arms quartered azure, vert, white, and yellow, and bears on his shield a cat or on a field tawny with a motto which says Miau, which is the beginning of the name of his lady, who according to report is the peerless Miaulina, daughter of the duke Alfeniquen of the Algarve; the other, who burdens and presses the loins of that powerful charger and bears arms white as snow and a shield blank and without any device, is a novice knight, a Frenchman by birth, Pierres Papin by name, lord of the baronies of Utrique; that other, who with iron-shod heels strikes the flanks of that nimble parti-coloured zebra, and for arms bears azure vair, is the mighty duke of Nerbia, Espartafilardo del Bosque, who bears for device on his shield an asparagus plant with a motto in Castilian that says, Rastrea mi suerte.” And so he went on naming a number of knights of one squadron or the other out of his imagination, and to all he assigned off-hand their arms, colours, devices, and mottoes, carried away by the illusions of his unheard-of craze; and without a pause, he continued, “People of divers nations compose this squadron in front; here are those that drink of the sweet waters of the famous Xanthus, those that scour the woody Massilian plains, those that sift the pure fine gold of Arabia Felix, those that enjoy the famed cool banks of the crystal Thermodon, those that in many and various ways divert the streams of the golden Pactolus, the Numidians, faithless in their promises, the Persians renowned in archery, the Parthians and the Medes that fight as they fly, the Arabs that ever shift their dwellings, the Scythians as cruel as they are fair, the Ethiopians with pierced lips, and an infinity of other nations whose features I recognise and descry, though I cannot recall their names. In this other squadron there come those that drink of the crystal streams of the olive-bearing Betis, those that make smooth their countenances with the water of the ever rich and golden Tagus, those that rejoice in the fertilising flow of the divine Genil, those that roam the Tartesian plains abounding in pasture, those that take their pleasure in the Elysian meadows of Jerez, the rich Manchegans crowned with ruddy ears of corn, the wearers of iron, old relics of the Gothic race, those that bathe in the Pisuerga renowned for its gentle current, those that feed their herds along the spreading pastures of the winding Guadiana famed for its hidden course, those that tremble with the cold of the pineclad Pyrenees or the dazzling snows of the lofty Apennine; in a word, as many as all Europe includes and contains.”

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Good God! what a number of countries and nations he named! giving to each its proper attributes with marvellous readiness; brimful and saturated with what he had read in his lying books! Sancho Panza hung upon his words without speaking, and from time to time turned to try if he could see the knights and giants his master was describing, and as he could not make out one of them he said to him:

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“Senor, devil take it if there’s a sign of any man you talk of, knight or giant, in the whole thing; maybe it’s all enchantment, like the phantoms last night.”

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“How canst thou say that!” answered Don Quixote; “dost thou not hear the neighing of the steeds, the braying of the trumpets, the roll of the drums?”

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“I hear nothing but a great bleating of ewes and sheep,” said Sancho; which was true, for by this time the two flocks had come close.

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“The fear thou art in, Sancho,” said Don Quixote, “prevents thee from seeing or hearing correctly, for one of the effects of fear is to derange the senses and make things appear different from what they are; if thou art in such fear, withdraw to one side and leave me to myself, for alone I suffice to bring victory to that side to which I shall give my aid;” and so saying he gave Rocinante the spur, and putting the lance in rest, shot down the slope like a thunderbolt. Sancho shouted after him, crying, “Come back, Senor Don Quixote; I vow to God they are sheep and ewes you are charging! Come back! Unlucky the father that begot me! what madness is this! Look, there is no giant, nor knight, nor cats, nor arms, nor shields quartered or whole, nor vair azure or bedevilled. What are you about? Sinner that I am before God!” But not for all these entreaties did Don Quixote turn back; on the contrary he went on shouting out, “Ho, knights, ye who follow and fight under the banners of the valiant emperor Pentapolin of the Bare Arm, follow me all; ye shall see how easily I shall give him his revenge over his enemy Alifanfaron of the Trapobana.”

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So saying, he dashed into the midst of the squadron of ewes, and began spearing them with as much spirit and intrepidity as if he were transfixing mortal enemies in earnest. The shepherds and drovers accompanying the flock shouted to him to desist; seeing it was no use, they ungirt their slings and began to salute his ears with stones as big as one’s fist. Don Quixote gave no heed to the stones, but, letting drive right and left kept saying:

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“Where art thou, proud Alifanfaron? Come before me; I am a single knight who would fain prove thy prowess hand to hand, and make thee yield thy life a penalty for the wrong thou dost to the valiant Pentapolin Garamanta.” Here came a sugar-plum from the brook that struck him on the side and buried a couple of ribs in his body. Feeling himself so smitten, he imagined himself slain or badly wounded for certain, and recollecting his liquor he drew out his flask, and putting it to his mouth began to pour the contents into his stomach; but ere he had succeeded in swallowing what seemed to him enough, there came another almond which struck him on the hand and on the flask so fairly that it smashed it to pieces, knocking three or four teeth and grinders out of his mouth in its course, and sorely crushing two fingers of his hand. Such was the force of the first blow and of the second, that the poor knight in spite of himself came down backwards off his horse. The shepherds came up, and felt sure they had killed him; so in all haste they collected their flock together, took up the dead beasts, of which there were more than seven, and made off without waiting to ascertain anything further.

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All this time Sancho stood on the hill watching the crazy feats his master was performing, and tearing his beard and cursing the hour and the occasion when fortune had made him acquainted with him. Seeing him, then, brought to the ground, and that the shepherds had taken themselves off, he ran to him and found him in very bad case, though not unconscious; and said he:

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“Did I not tell you to come back, Senor Don Quixote; and that what you were going to attack were not armies but droves of sheep?”

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“That’s how that thief of a sage, my enemy, can alter and falsify things,” answered Don Quixote; “thou must know, Sancho, that it is a very easy matter for those of his sort to make us believe what they choose; and this malignant being who persecutes me, envious of the glory he knew I was to win in this battle, has turned the squadrons of the enemy into droves of sheep. At any rate, do this much, I beg of thee, Sancho, to undeceive thyself, and see that what I say is true; mount thy ass and follow them quietly, and thou shalt see that when they have gone some little distance from this they will return to their original shape and, ceasing to be sheep, become men in all respects as I described them to thee at first. But go not just yet, for I want thy help and assistance; come hither, and see how many of my teeth and grinders are missing, for I feel as if there was not one left in my mouth.”

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Sancho came so close that he almost put his eyes into his mouth; now just at that moment the balsam had acted on the stomach of Don Quixote, so, at the very instant when Sancho came to examine his mouth, he discharged all its contents with more force than a musket, and full into the beard of the compassionate squire.

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“Holy Mary!” cried Sancho, “what is this that has happened me? Clearly this sinner is mortally wounded, as he vomits blood from the mouth;” but considering the matter a little more closely he perceived by the colour, taste, and smell, that it was not blood but the balsam from the flask which he had seen him drink; and he was taken with such a loathing that his stomach turned, and he vomited up his inside over his very master, and both were left in a precious state. Sancho ran to his ass to get something wherewith to clean himself, and relieve his master, out of his alforjas; but not finding them, he well-nigh took leave of his senses, and cursed himself anew, and in his heart resolved to quit his master and return home, even though he forfeited the wages of his service and all hopes of the promised island.

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Don Quixote now rose, and putting his left hand to his mouth to keep his teeth from falling out altogether, with the other he laid hold of the bridle of Rocinante, who had never stirred from his master’s side — so loyal and well-behaved was he==and betook himself to where the squire stood leaning over his ass with his hand to his cheek, like one in deep dejection. Seeing him in this mood, looking so sad, Don Quixote said to him:

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“Bear in mind, Sancho, that one man is no more than another, unless he does more than another; all these tempests that fall upon us are signs that fair weather is coming shortly, and that things will go well with us, for it is impossible for good or evil to last for ever; and hence it follows that the evil having lasted long, the good must be now nigh at hand; so thou must not distress thyself at the misfortunes which happen to me, since thou hast no share in them.”

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“How have I not?” replied Sancho; “was he whom they blanketed yesterday perchance any other than my father’s son? and the alforjas that are missing to-day with all my treasures, did they belong to any other but myself?”

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“What! are the alforjas missing, Sancho?” said Don Quixote.

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“Yes, they are missing,” answered Sancho.

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“In that case we have nothing to eat to-day,” replied Don Quixote.

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“It would be so,” answered Sancho, “if there were none of the herbs your worship says you know in these meadows, those with which knights-errant as unlucky as your worship are wont to supply such-like shortcomings.”

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“For all that,” answered Don Quixote, “I would rather have just now a quarter of bread, or a loaf and a couple of pilchards’ heads, than all the herbs described by Dioscorides, even with Doctor Laguna’s notes. Nevertheless, Sancho the Good, mount thy beast and come along with me, for God, who provides for all things, will not fail us (more especially when we are so active in his service as we are), since he fails not the midges of the air, nor the grubs of the earth, nor the tadpoles of the water, and is so merciful that he maketh his sun to rise on the good and on the evil, and sendeth rain on the unjust and on the just.”

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“Ask that of God, my son,” said Don Quixote; and do thou lead on where thou wilt, for this time I leave our lodging to thy choice; but reach me here thy hand, and feel with thy finger, and find out how many of my teeth and grinders are missing from this right side of the upper jaw, for it is there I feel the pain.”

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Sancho put in his fingers, and feeling about asked him, “How many grinders used your worship have on this side?”

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